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I don't think there's anything wrong with offering your LO comfort when she's upset, at this age she doesn't yet have the skills to regulate her own emotions so by responding you're helping her do that. I try to avoid doing the "mum gasp" when my LO falls over but sometimes she just needs a quiet moment with Mum before she's ready to play again!

If she cries because she fell I pick her up and comfort. I don't react when she falls, because she will respond to my reaction. But if she is hurt or scared, I pick her up and rub her back and say "that was scary," or whatever until she is calm.
She usually just keeps going after a tumble. (Eta: she doesn't "fake cry" in my opinion, if she's okay she sometimes looks startled or makes a little noise, but keeps going. If she is actually crying she needs help.)

Just wanted to add, I think there are lots of reasons she might cry after a fall- frustration, it was scary, it surprised her- not just physical pain, you know? And as a previous poster mentioned, I"m not sure she's equipped to deal with those emotions yet. I try not to nurse every time my LO cries, because I do want her to be able to calm down in other ways, but I just don't see the harm in helping her soothe herself. Guess I'm a big softie too?

Depends on his reaction. If he's looking to me to see how to react, I'll say something like "that was a big bump!"--acknowledging his experience without puting any sort of emotion into it. If he is upset I will comfort him and say "that was scary/that was a big tumble/etc". He has al ways calmed down ver y quickly.

I'm a softie too, but C often doesn't cry when she has a little fall so I just say something like, whoops, be careful. Or, you're tough, good job! (Though I wonder if I should be saying the tough part). But if she falls and seems hurt or scared I pick her up and comfort her for a minute without acting like it was a big deal. I think it's the initial reaction you want to be careful of, not gasping right away and being all oMG where does it hurt?!?!?

Ha. So right after I typed that, C was standing at her music table and fell. She got more startled than hurt but cried so I picker her up and said "oh, that was scary, wasn't it? It's hard standing at your table and holding two stuffed animals at the same time (which is why she fell)." Then she dropped on of the animals and wanted to be put down to go grab it again. Being a baby is hard work.

Definitely acknowledge. No one likes their feeling to be disregarded. If your husband was upset about something he would like some acknowledgement. Not distractions.

One tip that we learned from someone is that "shhhing" them (even while comforting them) isn't really acknowledging their feelings (someone said its basically like telling them, shush its ok). With our LO, often, we ask her to show us where it hurts, tell us what happens, confirm her feelings (yes I know that hurts doesn't it), ask what we can do to make it feel better. So a lot of comforting but as we start to ask her these questions, it usually works as a distraction as well and she stops crying so she can answer.

I acknowledge but not in a super softie way, more like "you fell and it was scary and it hurt! Let's see where it hurts." while giving a big hug. After that though I move on to distraction. If they are still upset after a few minutes I acknowledge again and then re try distraction.

Like you, we don't react to it immediately when he falls (because usually he's fine). I would go, it's OK, can you stand up and dust yourself off? I'd show him how to clap off the dust on his hands. 8 out of 10 times he won't cry.

But of course there could be times that he really hurts himself and starts crying, then I'd still remain calm and ask him, aww where did you hurt yourself? then I would do a gesture to kiss his boo boo. Hugs. Bandaid and all if needed... He stops quickly usually.

I don't think you are feeding into the wailing as long as you don't react to it in a serious matter in the beginning. You can sometimes tell if she really hurts herself. It is great that you guys are thinking about these! I've seen kids who are elementary school age and oh my gosh, they cried like someone died and their mom go carry them in her arms as a baby.

even if my LO (who is 2 by the way and is always getting scrapes and bruises) whimpers, I go to her and say, what happened? Did you fall down? Are you okay? If she says yes then I say, be more careful and give her a quick kiss and tell her to go keep playing. If she's crying I'll get down to her level and ask where it hurts and if she's okay. More often than not, she's not actually hurt, she's more freaked out/scared by what happened. Like if she took a tumble and it didn't really hurt but the fact that she tumbled off something scared her. I'll say, oh, was that scary? You got shocked? You fell down, right? Let's be more careful so we don't fall down. And that usually works. I give her another hug and kiss and off she goes.