Hellobee Boards

My dad is super involved. He even visits LO at his daycare every other week. Proximity helps.

MIL is involved as much as she can be living 7 hours away. We FaceTime at least 3 times a week and she never misses a holiday to send something to LO.

I am a little surprised my mom is less involved. She lives far away too, but she seems less interested in LO as well.

We live far from both sets of grandparents, but even with the distance my husband's parents are way more involved than my parents. We FaceTime every week with my husband's parents and they go out of their way multiple times a year to visit. My parents barely check in to ask about LO and we see them once a year. I was upset about it in the beginning, but I've learned to reframe my expectations with my parents to avoid disappointment.

I have a set of each. My mom is very involved, sometimes to her own detriment I think, because she has a fair amount of health issues but as soon as my daughter is in her vicinity, I swear my mom runs on pure adrenaline for however long just to make their time together fantastic. My dad is involved when we're visiting, but his business and energy levels don't allow him to travel to see us much so it's more sporadic that way. I do wish my dad was more involved, but it's in line with his personality and how he was with us as kids too, so I get it.

My ILs want to be involved but just aren't much. They both have health issues, so they have limited mobility, and they also seem to just not know how to engage with my daughter, despite having raised 2 kids of their own. They try to connect and relate, but they're just limited in how they do that. Which also does bother me at times - we don't have much extended family, so other than my mom I feel like my daughter is really growing up without much of a network.

Both sets of grandparents are very involved. My parents live close-by and we get together a decent amount, I take LO over just to see them, my dad stops by weekly to see her. They're really involved with my older niece and nephew, have them over or visit with them several times a week and engage them in a million different ways. I'm excited for my LO to be old enough for that.

The ILs live a 3 hour drive away but visit as often as they can and are really hands-on during visits. We Skype on weeks they don't visit.

I'm sure it helps that (knock on wood) none of them have limiting health factors and 3 of 4 are retired.

My parents are pretty involved - I would say my mom is super involved, she'll get down on the floor and play, or run around pretending to be Batman. My Dad is less active but he loves reading to them. My in-laws live in England so we only see them once a year, but MIL is like my mom, very involved. FIL doesn't seem to know what to do with them, and usually just plays on his iPad.

My parents are not at all involved. They think they can watch my kids (they've mentioned that they could watch them a couple days a week), but they're totally delusional! My mom is disabled and my father is in terrible health. He couldn't even pick them up off the ground, let alone take them to a park or even change a diaper! Plus their house is impossible to baby-proof — they were hoarders when I was growing up, then I cleaned the house about five years ago, and it's slowly being taken over again by crap (it's mostly boxes and mail and random crap no one needs, but not garbage or food, thank god!)

My MIL is basically a super awesome Grandmother, who is very active and can do anything. FIL just puts them in front of the TV and expects them to like him even though he puts in zero effort.

My mom isn't overly active with my baby; my MIL is much more so. But my mom is 10 years older than my MIL and my mom has endless amounts of love for my baby. So I try to focus on the things my mom does do and not on the things she doesn't.

My mom is very involved and visits us, goes places with us, and baby sits. But she would also let them watch TV or play on her phone a lot too rather than engaging and playing with them. But that is my biggest complaint. They are very close to her and love her the most, I think. My dad and stepmom are around too. It's difficult for my dad to do much physically so most visits are short and at either of our houses but they do the best they can and call to check in when we can't see them for a while.
My in laws need to have very structured and staged visits. They are the same distance as my parents but we see them only a handful of times a year, mostly birthday and holiday visits. They haven't even shown for our kids last 2 birthdays and made a point to tell us they will not make it unless we do a joint party for LO1 and LO3 because their birthdays are 10 days apart (not happening!) They think presents make up for lack of presence. They never even called to wish LO2 a happy birthday this year after cancelling on us the morning of when DH called to ask when they would arrive.

All the grandparents want to be involved but they do it in different ways.

MIL is awesome and will break out games and toys, get down on the floor, and basically engage DD the whole time. When DD visits without us, MIL will plan tons of fun activities for her and keeps things like screen time to a minimum.

My dad is weird when he hangs out, he loves to see the kids but doesn't like to be hands on. So basically he likes it best when he's there but DH and I are wrangling them, or he also loves to have DD stay over his house and they basically watch movies the entire time. We actually don't allow her to go over often because she comes back a wreck. Last time, she was there for about 18 hrs (which included overnight sleep time) and managed to watch 4 full length movies.

FIL is obsessed with holding the baby (literally will not relinquish him ever) but relies more on video games and screens to entertain older kids. He tends to invite all his grandkids over at the same time so they can entertain each other.

My parents are super involved despite living 8 hours away. They come once a year and watch LO for a week. They also make several trips up per year. They are both active (and to their credit, they both work really HARD to maintain their health and wellness)

My in laws live about 6 hours away and he works, my mil is semi retired. Neither really show much interest in visiting us. They are really involved with my sil's three kids; maybe they are burnt out by helping her as much as they do. Idk. I would say they are verging on becoming inactive. They are at that dangerous intersection of really not taking care of themselves and also getting older.

We live 15 minutes from my in-laws and they love having my daughter over, but it's a mixed bag in terms of how active they are. MIL is very engaged and my daughter loves her, but forgets basic things (like feeding her or changing her diaper) despite many reminders. FIL is very minimally engaged but then pouts and tries to guilt her when she doesn't let him pick her up or do the rare activity he does propose. He usually just reads a book or plays games on his phone when she visits.

I went no contact with my parents a year ago, but they would be actively engaged with her and would want to see her often. They mean well, but are narcissists and my dad has a explosive temper that he was starting to show to my daughter. They live on the opposite coast of the US.

Active like energy level?

None of our parents are close geographically, but they all visit. My mom is a year older than my FIL and 4 years older than my MIL. She's 71. But she is super active in general and will take my kids all over town to parks to play and stuff. The lady can walk 10 miles a day easy. She'll go into the city by herself and would probably try to take the kids if they still didn't have nap schedules.

My in laws only leave the house to go shopping when they visit so it's just different. They care about our kids but are just extreme home bodies so they kind of trade off playing a little with the kids at home and then kind of doing their own thing while the kids play independently. They just aren't physically active people with kids or without, if that makes sense.

My mom is fantastic. My LO is her only grandchild and she's obsessed with him and he is obsessed with her. He wants "gigi" to hold him, play with him, etc. ALL DAY when she's there and literally pushes the rest of us away. Lol. Unfortunately, she lives a 13 hour drive away In spite of that, she still sees him 6-10x a year. Thankfully our city has a low cost, nonstop flight which helps. I would give anything for us to live in the same city as her.

MIL and FIL - definitely not active. They also live on the other side of the country so we only see them 1-2x a year. They do not like traveling so don't come to us. When we're there, they don't really play with him or interact with him. MIL doesn't understand why LO doesn't want to sit with her in her recliner and read books or watch TV! (He's 22 months old - he wants to run!). MIL is not in great health and can't hold him or play with him outside or anything (although I think some of it is self-imposed, she sits on the couch all day). They do love him and send gifts and stuff, but I dread our visits there because it's just so much extra work for me. They do not do anything at all to help. MIL cooks food he won't eat so I have to buy/fix separate food for LO.