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I would take the baby immediately. I wouldn't want to forgo the first 10 days just to protect myself. I think adoption is an incredibly selfless and emotional experience - you risk your heart, so to speak, so much. I think 10 days would be the least of my worries. I would mourn the baby if the parents changed their mind regardless of whether I had those first 10 days.

I was just doing some googling to see the wait period for my state (5 days) and saw Texas had SIX (!!!) months.

I have no idea.

I'm assuming if I knew from the start this baby was going to be mine. And knowing what I know about bonding in the first few days? I couldn't imagine someone else caring for my baby during that time. I imagine I would risk the heartache that would ensue if the birth parent chose to take the baby back.

But I honestly don't know.

ETA: 45 days in NY State.

I would take the baby immediately, with the understanding that perhaps I am a "foster mom" for 10 days. to me it's not long enough to feel like my life will be torn apart if they do want the baby back. And I would appreciate giving the birth parents that opportunity to change their mind.

I'd probably wait the 10 day - either way it would be heartwrenching, but it would be hard for me to bring the baby home in the mindset of being a foster parent when I'm trying to adopting. I did know of one family who plan to adopt and had the birth mom change her mind in those 10 days (I believe they chose to wait to take the baby home, upon advice from the agency)

Adoptive parents are already attached and invested before the baby is ever born. Not taking them home with you during the waiting period isn't going to change that. I would absolutely take the baby home.

When my aunt and uncle were going through the adoption process, they had a birth mom change her mind and decide to keep her baby.

I think I would have to take the baby and absorb the risk.

I said I would take the baby immediately, although really I don't know how I would respond if I was actually in the situation. But @mediagirl: that's a good point about the older kids- I can prepare myself and risk the heartache for me. It would be harder to potentially set up my kids for it. I think it would depend on the situation and how likely it seemed that the biological parents would change their minds?

I'd be heartbroken either way but I think even more so if the birth parents changed their minds AND I never got to have any time with the baby. It also seems like it is in the baby's best interest to be with the adoptive parents even if there is the chance of the parents taking them back. The best interest of a helpless child seems more important than those of an adoptive parent.

However, I say this from the perspective of someone who has never had to consider adoption and I know I most likely never will so my opinion is perhaps not very relevant.

I think here the waiting period is 60 days? Might be longer. In any case, its heart wrenching, but I would bring the baby home.

My best friend had to wait 9 months to finalize the adoption of her daughter. We often discussed what it would be like if the bio mom came back to take her (and at one point it looked like that could happen). I know my friend (who has an older bio son) guarded her heart a bit through that time, but always said that even if the baby went back to her bio mom, she would never have given up that time with her. She felt so privileged to be able to meet her daughter's needs and provide a loving home when she needed it most.