I'm throwing a shower for a friend who is due one week before me. This is her second baby, she isn't registering anywhere, and doesn't need anything big. Am I suppose to buy a gift?
ps is it weird that she isn't at all involved in throwing me a shower? Like didn't even ask me if she could be involved....
THANKS!!
56 votes
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
I would buy a small gift...maybe an outfit or some books!
GOLD / coconut / 8266 posts
Your gift is definitely the shower. I guess you could get a cute, CHEAP outfit for the baby if you want to though.
coconut / 8475 posts
No gift. You're hosting her shower for one, and two, it is her second child.
I *would* take flowers to the hpspital when I visit though and food to her home. I always do that aside from the shower gift.
P.s: I don't think t is weird; she may have a lot on her plate right now. It would be nice if she were involved, but I wouldn't be offended. She may think your friends have it under control.
pear / 1743 posts
Your gift is the shower and yeah, I think it's a little bit weird that she hasn't even really offered to help with yours.
GOLD / wonderful pomegranate / 28905 posts
@MamaBehr: I would have until you told me she is not involved at all in your shower. Then I think what you're doing is more than enough.
pomelo / 5621 posts
I would get a small gift, but I wouldn't say you have to.
It is strange she hasn't offered, but she may just have too much going on or not feel up to it.
GOLD / squash / 13464 posts
I think you should get a small gift. I just co-hosted my SIL's shower and also bought her her stroller.
pomegranate / 3768 posts
I always thought showers are only for baby #1? I always get a gift even if I'm hosting shower. It is weird that she hasn't offered to help with yours though. So I think in your case, the shower is more than enough and no gift is fine!
wonderful pea / 17279 posts
Your gift is the shower, but I have always noticed the hostesses give gifts too.
I don't think showers are reciprocal, so no I don't think it's weird that she is not a hostess for your shower. Showers are given by people who *want* to host.
pomegranate / 3275 posts
@dolphin: That's what I have always thought too, but here in TX I have only been invited to showers for second or third children! Which is part of the reason I offered to throw this friend a shower. This is my third baby and someone offered (I didn't even bring it up) to throw a shower for me. I felt super (and still feel) weird about it, but my friends down here didn't know me when I had my first or second, so they keep telling me this is their first shower for me 
pomelo / 5524 posts
I would also get a small gift...a few books for the baby or an outfit like someone else suggested.
Since this is your 3rd baby, I don't think it's weird at all that she didn't offer to throw you a shower.
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