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My mother in law is her own category and I have many complaints but I will say I have noticed her getting more and more engaged with my son the older he gets. He's one now and it's night and day from when we first would go over there. She's totally different in her interactions with him and she shows how much she loves him. She still drives me crazy in other ways of course! She's never changed his diaper but I think she assumes I won't want her to.

My ILs didn't really get into being around my kids until they were older, like when my oldest was 3. Some people just don't get being with babies, but love being around kids who walk and talk.

My MIL sort of brags about how grandmas don't need to change diapers. I don't really care but she doesn't need to say it quite so often! She lives across the country but does try to see the LOs as often as she can.

Meanwhile my parents are a five hour drive and almost never see them. They just aren't travelers really. My dad in particular loves the idea of grandkids but he just is such a homebody. When we do see them they interact, but my mom will get on the floor and play. My dad is more like to show videos on his phone or only want to read the book that he feels like reading. I try not to let it bug me. To be fair a big factor with the traveling is that we don't have space for them to stay with us so they need a hotel or other arrangements.

I also reminds self that it's their loss, since my kids are awesome. Sometimes.

I may be the odd one out, but I never had high expectations for my LOs' grandparents. But I also had basically no grandparents in my life (the closest ones I only ever saw every couple of years), so I don't know or miss that relationship. That said, in our family, both sets of grandparents are fairly active, considering the distance (one is across the ocean, the others are several countries away) and we do see them a couple of times a year, especially the closer ones. I think it is what it is, they have their lives, and it's their decision whether or not they want to be actively involved in your child's life. I would try not to get upset about it, but just encourage the relationship when you can, while being aware of the fact that they may have other priorities.

ETA: as for diaper changes, I NEVER expect them to change diapers. To me, that's a job for me or my husband. I only expect them to do it on the rare occasion that they are babysitting.

I doubt anyone will change my baby's diaper if I or my husband is around to do it. My mom will, but she's also going to watch him when I return back to work. I wouldn't judge your FIL for not wanting to change a diaper- I surely don't volunteer to do that either.

As for the other things even without barriers for visit I think it's normal. No one is as excited about your own child than you and your husband. I told my FIL to the save the date for our sip & see- his first opportunity to visit his new grandson. His response was "we'll see, that's the same weekend as our annual family reunion." He goes every year, but hey meeting his first grandchild is abnormal and low priority. NBD

I'd try to focus on what your child has- you and your parents. That sounds like a ton of love right there.

My parents have only ever changed my son's diapers if they were babysitting him for the day, and even then my dad's first diaper change was a month ago (my son is 2) - and actually, turns out it's for the best because I later found two dirty (disposable) diapers in the laundry hamper, thanks dad!

For living two hours away, seeing him once a month or so doesn't seem too bad, to me. Since you said they ski and are going to visit friends it sounds like they're still healthy and active and leading their own life. Maybe they don't want to impose by coming all the time? When they come, do they stay over? Do you ever drive out to visit them? My parents live three hours away and they definitely don't come visit on a monthly basis. Do you Skype/Facetime them? That might be a good way to get your son to get more familiar/comfortable with them.

They sound a lot like my in-laws who live an hour away and refuse to drive to us. FIL physically can't drive but MIL refuses to and when they take the train they either guilt trip us about how difficult it is for them or "forget" to catch the train going home so DH has to drive them. Any they only come for things like parties so he essentially has to leave me to host alone so that he can drive his parents. They request pictures ONLY when they are going to see someone that they want to show off to, never any other time.
I feel bad for DH but we have talked a lot about it and realized our expectations once I got pregnant did not fit at all with our relationship with his parents. Basically, you can't expect them to change just because there is a grandchild in the picture. Did they visit often before? If they don't want to see their own son very much, why would they change for a grandchild? So we have adjusted our expectations and our behavior as well. It stinks for our kids to not have two sets of involved grandparents but it is what it is. You can't make other people want to be involved with your family, unfortunately.