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We had the same experience as @StrawberryShortie I was actuallly on the fence for #2 but didn't want to have regrets so we started trying no pressure. If it happens, great, if not, not meant to be.
We got pregnant after 5 cycles so it took a little while but not eons. We are both excited but also admittedly not looking forward to the dark newborn days or disrupting our current equilibrium.

Ugh no offense to anyone but I hate the "how do you want thanksgiving/Christmas to look in 15 years?" reason. I read something in an article today that said you should base your decisions on what would make you the happiest now. No one is guaranteed anything, let alone all of the contingencies that would have to come true for the perfect holiday season in 15 years. Expectations that depend on other (future!) people are shakey at best. Life is so uncertain! The only reason (in my opinion) to have another child is if you truly, deep down in your heart, want another child. Not to "give LO a sibling" or any of that. Simply because you and your spouse really want another child.
Good luck!!!

@ScarletBegonia: I think deep down most of us know what we really want. We went through most of LO1's first year saying we wouldn't have another, but realistically we knew we wanted one, but because of the PPD/PPA experience it was terrifying.

@wrkbrk: I actually do think wanting your child to have a sibling is a good reason, as long as it's not the sole reason. But the holiday stuff.. amen to that.

We're not one and done, at all, but maybe this would help-- when we started on growing our family I was adamant I wanted at least three. I'm currently pregnant with #2, and woke up on Saturday morning and told my husband "hey, I think I'm done after this one." Turns out, he's on the same page. We got to talking about it and I figured out for me it was more about examining my underlying motivations for wanting a large family. I have a toxic relationship with my mother, and it's taken me a long time to realize that my desire for a large family is a subconscious effort to show that I am lovable. F'ed up for sure, and not a good reason to have three or more kids.

Anyway, maybe try journaling about your feelings to try and puzzle things out?

DH and I had planned to be one and done, but I was always a bit nervous about us or LO missing out on things if she was an only child. We did some serious talking about having another after LO was born, but I could never really feel settled with the decision either way. DH and I are in our late 30's/40's, so it was now or never.

What finally made me fully comfortable in my decision was that two close friends recently had babies, and I spent a bunch of time with both of them. During every visit with the babies, I felt like "nope, never again, not for me" and that's how I knew that I was totally ok with LO being an only child. I love our family unit, and LO has plenty (12!) of cousins, and is in daycare full time so I don't worry about her not having enough social time. I'm not sure if this would work for anyone else, but for me, actually holding another baby is what it took for me to know what was right for me.

So last year my husband and I started trying for #2. I was never super excited about it but my husband really wanted more than one and I thought it was the right thing to do since I didn't want my daughter to be lonely growing up.

It has now been 11 months, 7 total pregnancy losses and we really are comfortable with only having one child. We've had so many discussions over the past year and we realized that (1) our daughter is not going to be lonely growing up. She will be involved in as many activities as she wants to be and we will encourage strong friendships. (2) Having another kid does not guarantee they will be friends. My sister and I are a few years apart and have never been close. We are just too different. (3) We will have the ability to give our daughter so much more time, attention and opportunity that she may not have if we had another.

I know everyone's situation is so different, but for me, going through pregnancy loss & infertility really opened my eyes. It made me think about the real reasons why I wanted to have another, and at this point, I simply just don't want another child. We have so much fun with our daughter and I know that I'm happy now and will be in 5, 10, 15 years. I held a newborn last week and I was like, nope, this is not for me. My daughter was also literally the best & easiest newborn... I only remember one night when she was like 7 weeks old that she cried for more than like a minute. It was bliss. She has also been the best toddler and has a great little personality and temperament. I don't really feel like testing fate with another child (as bad as that may sound, it's how I feel).

My response was probably pretty rambly but I hope it makes sense!

I had a hard time with this too. Pre-kids, I was already on the fence between having 1 and 2. LO was a tough newborn, and I had a miscarriage before having her which devastated me, so it took us awhile to come around to trying for #2. When she was almost 2, we decided to go for it. Two more losses later, I started re-thinking things again. DH and I decided to take a break from TTC and figure out if maybe one and done would work best for us after all. We were a couple months into our break and I think if we had gone on much longer, we would have decided to stop at one. We had a great little family of 3 and it was very comfortable. But somehow we had an oops and I got pregnant (still don't completely understand how it was possible). In the early days of that pregnancy, I told myself that if I lost this one too, we would be done, end of story. But once I got further along, I got very excited. And when he arrived, I felt like our family was finally complete. It's only been 7 months but it's hard to imagine life without him anymore.

So...all that to say, I think I was close to being one and done, and in all honesty, I probably would not have really regretted that decision. But I feel a sense of peace now with 2 kids that I didn't have back then, and I think I really just wanted 2. I could totally see the opposite happening for someone else though. It may be worth taking a short break from TTC and ask yourself how you would feel if you got pregnant unexpectedly. For me, it ended up being the best thing to have happened, but if you truly think you might be content with one, I think you'd probably feel differently.

@wrkbrk: I think what people mean by the Thanksgiving/Christmas comment is to encourage people to think beyond the young children years. Baby/toddler years are hard and I hear people say they don't want to do that stage again, but in the grand scheme of life, that stage is short. Think ahead to the future, having school aged/teenaged/adult children and think about what you hope your family looks like in those scenarios. I don't think it's always great advice to think about what would make you happiest now, sometimes you need to put in a little work and grit your teeth now to be even happier later.

We have been on the fence since we started TTC our DD, and I think we've finally settled on one and done (she is 3.5 now). I'm not completely closed to the idea of another but I'm also totally at peace with our family as it is now. I agree with @Rocker2014 that being around friends with babies helped me be comfortable with the decision, as I have no baby fever whatsoever. I also disliked being pregnant and find parenthood really hard, as well as being hard on our marriage. My husband travels a fair amount (I do too, to a lesser degree), so that definitely comes into play. There are just a lot of reasons that weigh in favor of one and done for us, and not much tilting the other way except the sibling for her/more family around the table in 25 years/not solely burdening her with our decrepit selves one day arguments. So while we could still change our minds, I think that's unlikely.

@MrsADS: I feel similarly! My son is just about 21 months, and our first year/year and a half was hell on earth. I love him to pieces but he also had colic and has been very high needs since day one. We always imagined having two, but it takes two people just to handle him alone!

We are currently buying a larger home so at least we'll have the space if we ever feel brave enough to try for another...

@MrsGeePerez: There are other ways to have a support system than siblings. If DS does end up being an only child he has two cousins who are 1 & 3 years younger. Even at a young age they are close. I just think of this because DH and his brother who are two years apart rarely talk but and he is closer with a cousin.

@Mrs. Carrot: Yes to being an adult again. I hate how it is such a tough decision.

@kiddosc yeah, this is what I struggle with. If I have a #2 I know I'm going to be totally miserable for another few years. I don't have baby fever, I have no desire to go through all that again. BUT... is it worth it to suffer through so that long-term, in 10 years, my family is what I want it to be? Maybe so.

@themrsgoff this is one of my main factors in considering whether to have a #2. Of course, I know there's no guarantee siblings will get along as adults, etc etc, but I don't want my son to be alone. His cousins on my husband's side are 8-13 years older and live really far away so we don't really have a lot of close cousins/family. Maybe I would feel differently if that were the case.

Having said both of those things, I also can easily envision our family of 3, and I know it would be easier and we might be happier/less stressed...even long-term. I really don't know. And I don't feel like I can wait (forever) due to my husband's age. Ugh!

We are one and done, and part of the reason is that my husband and I were the oldest children and a lot of childcare fell on us. My husband was clear that he didn't want the same for our family.

Another reason is that I just don't have the nerves to be able to handle a lot of chaos. I like things to be manageable and I know my limits.

I do hope that my son builds his family as he sees fit, though. I think it's possible to include people in it as you see fit, I for sure don't subscribe to any blood is thicker than water theories.

@looch: I agree kindness and mutual respect is thicker than blood to me. I don't think blood means that much honestly. Families are unique and I have lots of friends that are my family. And family that is family. And blood that I never intend to see again soooooo.

I've never been in the one and done camp but I was also nervous about how #2 would change our lives. Because it took us awhile to get pregnant the second time around, we ended up with a larger than expected age gap and I felt like parenthood had just started to get enjoyable because we could go explore and not be constrained by nap times, breastfeeding, etc. Basically, as soon as things started getting easier, we were starting over again with all the restrictions. However, I may be in the minority, but adding #2 wasn't that much more incremental work. I wouldn't really say things are that much harder with two than with one but maybe that is due to the age gap (DS is potty trained, can get himself a snack, dress himself, etc.). We are constrained by nap times and baby life but #2 brings us so much joy that I'm so glad we persevered through the fertility struggles. Life is different with two but it wasn't really that much harder (though, I'm 8 months in so maybe I don't know what I'm in for yet!).

@wrkbrk: Agreed. I was on the fence for a while until suddenly we felt ready. We always thought we wanted two (and a surprise would have been totally fine) but we waited to TTC until we felt like we wanted another child - not just a sibling for LO.