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I don't have children yet, but DH worked shift work for a couple of years. When he was on nights a couple of days could pass before we saw each other awake depending on my schedule. As far as going right to sleep, DH was never able to do that. He said it didn't feel natural coming home from work and going straight to sleep because we you are on a normal day shift you don't sleep right after work. He really needed some time to unwind and eat.

DH works 7pm-7am every few months for week long stretches. He gets home, wakes and does the morning routine with the kids, does daycare/preschool drop off and comes home. He unwinds for a bit and sleeps from 9:45/10-5:45/6pm. He forces himself to stay up on the last day so he can get back to a regular schedule.

I have done shift work (a mix of day and night shifts, usually 2/3 nights, 1/3 days) for the past 10 years. I find that the most important thing is protecting my sleep, I need to make sure I get 8 hours on my work days. I find I need to get to sleep ASAP after work or I end up tossing and turning. I get off work at 7 am and if I am not in bed by 8 am I end up unable to fall asleep.

I get off at 7, home by 7:20, I will help my DH get our son out the door and they are out by 7:45 then I do my bedtime routine and off to bed. I use blackout shades and fans to hide the light/noise outside. On my last night I sleep 3/4 hours then get up and yo about my day. Not sleeping at all made me really sick feeling, so I dont endorse that!

I have heard lots of debate that the shift worker should suck it up and accept less sleep so they can do more around the house, but I think that is so mean! Night shifts are brutally hard on your body, so I feel like it is super important to be respectful of that.

My husband works offshore and is gone 3 weeks and then home 3 weeks. So when he's gone I solo parent our almost 2 yr old and I am also pregnant with our 2nd. So absolutely everything falls on me for LO1, and I work a very busy FT job.

It may take getting used to, but it's not nearly as bad or as scary as you may think...We just get into our groove and it's no big deal. I actually love our girls-only time, I really appreciate it....Even though I wish my husband was always with us, he can't be, and it is what it is, so we just make the best of it.

Sometimes it's nice to ONLY have to worry about your LO. No one to do dinner or laundry for...You can just veg out once LO goes to bed. We have a maid service and that really helps too because all I have to keep up with is the laundry and light picking up, so I'm never really doing much housework once I'm done with work and have LO in bed. I am a big believer in hiring help around the house - it will take A LOT off of you if you are the one that it primarily falls on because he is not around.

You will get into the swing of things and you'll be awesome at it!

ETA: Just a fun example of our solo day: Today we went to breakfast and had pumpkin pancakes, hit a cute children's shop sale, had my car washed, both took naps, then went to Disney on Ice, then to the Crocs outlet for LO new play shoes, and finally to dinner together. She is my little buddy and I LOVE our mommy/daughter time:)

@lizzywiz: just wanted to wish you the best of luck! I have no experience but I'd try to think of shortcuts to get me through the transition. Stock up on simple foods (pre cut fruits and veggies, single serving yogurts, etc.) for meals and packing lunches, get a bunch of paper plates and napkins in case dishes are overwhelming, lay out a weeks worth of outfits at a time (for you and lo), etc. you can do this!
Eta: this may seem silly, but I'd even pick out a new show to binge watch on Netflix alone! Something to look forward to.

My friend's husband works the night shift in a hospital and they make it work! I'm not sure I've ever heard her complain

I work overnights as well as attend school and is doable. I work 7p-7:30a and get home at around 8:30am. With eating something and unwinding I'm usually in bed by 9:30, especially if I work that night again. I'm currently pregnant so I don't have experience with a child in the mix, but I could definitely get a baby ready (DO would have to get her up and possibly feed her depending on her schedule) and I could finish up and take her to daycare. I find that if I don't go to sleep by 9:30 it's hard for me to sleep well. After my last night I try to either only sleep a couple of hours or just stay up so I can go to sleep at a normal time that night and flip back to days.

@lizzywiz: while I miss my husband, tonight I'm glad he isn't here to see the mess that is the house. I didn't make it to the store today and that was okay because I was totally fine with eating Nutella for dinner. Stuff like that makes me okay with it and then I'm always so happy to see him when he gets home.

My husband works 4 on, 4 off, two days, two nights, 12 hour shifts with an hour commute each way. So essentially he's completely absent from our lives for five days every week. We have a 14 month old, and I work 50 hours a week, and am also doing a post bac diploma myself. I wish he was around to help more, but we make it work. He's in emergency services, so it will likely be this way for the forseeable future.

He works 6 to 6, so he texts me at 5:30am and advises whether he'll be coming home on time. When my alarm goes off at 5:45 I check it, and if he's coming home I stay in bed for an extra few minutes, if he's not, I get up and get myself ready before baby wakes up at 6:30, and he gets home. He helps me get her ready for the day, and then goes to bed when we leave at 7:15.

I pick up baby from daycare on my way home and come home and get dinner on the table. I try to only do major cooking every other day. I'll cook double meat, and then try to use it the next day. Like one day roast chicken, then the next quesadillas with the pre-cooked meat just to make things quick and easy. On his first night shift he usually cooks dinner for us, and leaves it out for us since he leaves about 15 min before we get home.

We order our groceries on line for delivery just to eliminate that chore. DH hates it, and it's challenging for me to do it after work and still get dinner made and baby to bed at a decent hour.

After dinner I do bath, story and bed time by 7:30ish, and then clean up dinner, make lunches for the next day, usually do some studying, watch some trash TV, and go to bed. I'm used to sleeping alone since he's been on graveyards as long as we've been together (9 years) so I just look at it as an opportunity to stretch out.

On weekends it's a big more challenging since he's sleeping in the day, and we have a small house. But we usually just take advantage of having a girl's day. Today we met dad when he got home at 6:30 and had breakfast together, and he watched her while I got showered. Then he went to bed and we played quietly until the malls opened. Then we went out shopping for a Halloween costume, and over to the indoor play centre, then came home and lunch, and we both had a nap. Then we got to actually have an early dinner together before he left for work too. We hung out, did bath and bed, and I've been on free time here since 7:30.

I try to do work out videos at home when I can, since the major restriction of solo parenting is that it's hard to get out of the house in the evening.

@lizzywiz: I worked night shift when I was a new nurse, but I didn't have kids yet. I didn't find that going to sleep asap was needed. Usually I needed some to unwind before going to bed. Your DH should be able to come home and help you out in the morning. Then he could go to sleep after you head to daycare drop off/work. If he sleep something like 9-5, then he could get up when you get home from work and help with dinner, etc before leaving.

Invest in some really good black out curtians! Sleeping during the day can be hard.

@lizzywiz: the switching off is the hardest part for him. He works 3 on, 2 off, 2 on, 3 off and it switches between day and night. He also has had problems sleeping before this, but it made it worse in my opinion. He has to work at falling asleep.