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Anyone NOT circumcise? Or regret they did?

  1. periwinklebee

    grapefruit / 4449 posts

    I let my husband decide. He has medical training, and based his decision to circumcise on the fact that there is some evidence that it leads to a reduction in STI transmission. Obviously this is not something you can study with a simple observational study, because it is not random who gets circumcised, but there are indeed randomized control trials that find it reduces STI transmission. The critique is that they are done in countries with much higher rates of STIs than the U.S./Europe (i.e. sub-Saharan Africa);. And they are done to adults where there might be behavioral responses (but if anything you'd expect those to go the other way, encouraging more risky behavior as it has the reputation of reducing STI transmission).

    So at the end of the day, we don't know for sure whether it reduces STI transmission, but the RCT evidence is consistent with this and the risks are low. Based on the risks, even if it reduces the odds of HIV transmission by just a bit, it seems worth it to us given what a horrible outcome this is. DS was not upset when he got back from the procedure, he was only gone a few minutes, and we had zero issues with healing.

  2. graceandjoy

    pear / 1565 posts

    @skiierchck99: Oh man! I wonder if that's something they can tell at birth or doesn't get realized till later in life.

  3. graceandjoy

    pear / 1565 posts

    @periwinklebee: I think that's really the best scenario I can hope for it we go for it!

  4. LadyDi

    persimmon / 1259 posts

    @DesertDreams88: Nope. Like others said, it really didn't occur to me to. I didn't have strong feelings about it, DH wanted it done. All of my sexual partners have been. I just thought it was a thing that almost every man had done. Like I mentioned, I didn't realize it was a hotly debated topic until recently.

  5. MoonMoon

    pomegranate / 3369 posts

    We did not. I've never regretted it. In nursing school, I saw photos and videos of circumcision and that helps confirm my decision for me. I thought we'd get more blowback from my family for religious reasons, but nobody really cared. And I just remind myself that in the vast majority of the world, it's not the norm, and now rates are dropping in many parts of the USA as well.

  6. skiierchck99

    kiwi / 518 posts

    @graceandjoy: honestly as I recall I don’t think he even knew it was abnormal. And neither did I at first because...first one I’d seen either way, ya know?

  7. MamaBear87

    nectarine / 2288 posts

    We did not. I strongly felt that I did not want to cut off a part of my healthy baby. I had people say well what if it got infected? And my answer was we aren't cutting off a finger because it might get infected, so why cut off a piece of his penis? If something happens we will deal with it then. With anesthesia and pain medication

    My husband was somewhat on the fence. I told him if he felt strongly enough to do it the only way I was comfortable was if it was done by a Jewish mohel and my husband had to stay with the baby the whole time. He never pursed it so now he isn't. We have had zero issues and the more I read it should never be an issue providing the kid takes showers

    My brother also isn't and has never had any issues relating to it

  8. Sams Mom

    grapefruit / 4492 posts

    We circumcised our son. The hospital wouldn't do it since he would be going on my husband's insurance that was in network at the other hospital in town. So we had the pediatrician do it in office at 8 days old. He slept through the procedure, only fussed a bit at the beginning about them taking his diaper off, and he was absolutely fine when they brought him back.

    He healed up fairly well, with a couple adhesions developing due to his little "fat pad" as the doctor called it at the base of his penis because he was chunky. Care wasn't anything hard really, and it looks perfectly normal at almost 4.

    I did leave the final say to my husband, and he wanted to do it. BUT I did feel kind of strongly about it after working in the nursing home when I was younger and seeing some of the issues elderly men dealt with because of it. Particularly if they were diabetic (runs in my family).

  9. skiierchck99

    kiwi / 518 posts

    @Sams Mom: can you elaborate on issues older men face? We are having a boy this time and I think dh and I are both on the fence. And honestly we’re hoping to have another girl so we’d never have to make the choice!

  10. Sams Mom

    grapefruit / 4492 posts

    @skiierchck99: some of it was their own fault kind of, not wanting to clean it or let it be cleaned; so they just got gross. Men with diabetes had retraction and constriction requiring them to be circumcised later in life. (Which general anesthesia at their age has increased risks).

  11. MamaBear87

    nectarine / 2288 posts

    @skiierchck99: my husband also brought this up. But I see it as the same as cutting off any body part because it could have problems. We as a culture have made this seem like how it should be but truly we are altering a functional body part.

    Not trying to shame anyone who has circumcised. To each their own ♥

  12. graceandjoy

    pear / 1565 posts

    @Sams Mom: ohh that is interesting about what happens during old age. But I also imagine a lot of other things can go wrong with improper care at that point!

    @MamaBear87: Yes, absolutely to each their own!

    I do not want anyone to feel like they are being attacked for their choice!

  13. Sams Mom

    grapefruit / 4492 posts

    @graceandjoy: o I know a lot of it is personal anecdotal experience 😂 but the first penis you've seen at 17 not on a baby is on an 85 year old dude; and it's infected... That'll burn into your brain.

  14. LCTBQE

    nectarine / 2461 posts

    @DesertDreams88: no, but nor did I watch the varicose vein removal YouTube video my friend sent me before I had that elective procedure done on myself. My OB explained every step in detail before she did it and so did the pediatric urologist who corrected her work.

  15. Grace

    cantaloupe / 6726 posts

    I think if my first had been a boy, I would have considered it. But I couldn’t imagine sending my little girl for an elective surgery, so I knew it wasn’t something I could do when my second turned out to be a boy. No regrets.

  16. turquoisemama

    persimmon / 1481 posts

    @graceandjoy: I have two daughters but my mom has always said she regretted doing it when she had her first baby. She said she could hear him screaming from the other room and felt awful. I knew I wouldn’t have done it if I had had a son.

  17. Petitduck

    kiwi / 623 posts

    My husband is. Our boys aren’t. I felt pretty strongly about not doing it and we are fine with the decision.

  18. DillonLion

    GOLD / eggplant / 11504 posts

    I'm Jewish, but even I had mixed feelings about it. It is totally elective and like millions of years of evolution is smarter than a few hundred years of medical data.

    We skipped a Jewish Bris ceremony and had the OB do it in the hospital. I felt...not great about it but wanted to get it over and done with.

    LO is 5 months and we are experiencing issues. The skin is reattaching, not enough skin was removed, and it's all off center. We are having to take him to a pediatric urologist for an evaluation. I'm pretty pissed that we have to do this. I refuse to put him under anesthesia as an infant for an elective surgery, so I'm hoping there's a simpler way to get him fixed up without another official surgical procedure.

  19. SugarplumsMom

    bananas / 9223 posts

    My bff was uncircumcised as a child and I know he felt really awkward about it growing up. He even considered having it done as an adult because of the awkwardness he felt whenever he started dating someone new.

    Having said that, I knew of a parent that was worried about her son that was circumcised. We live in a country where circumcision isn't the norm and her son felt bullied because he didn't look like everyone else and even refused to shower after gym class because of it.

    I think it largely depends on where you live and the level of acceptance people have on anyone different from themselves. My two examples are worlds and generations apart (different counties, different continents even) but unfortunately some things haven't changed.

  20. Ms. RV

    pear / 1930 posts

    Both of my boys are... one had it done by my OB after birth and the other while under for another surgery (he was transferred to another hospital immediately after birth). The surgeon used a plastibell which seemed a lot less traumatic than he snip method my OB did. Plus the snipped kid refused to nurse for a day and a half after it. I wish my OB would have used a plastibell because I think that day and a half of refusing to nurse was awful.

  21. Becky

    persimmon / 1390 posts

    I just wanted to say this conversation has taken me from being “well obviously we will circumcise” to “clearly we need to do more research.” DH is actually invested in reading what I shared which is nice and was really shocked by how big the shift has been in the US even since he was a kid. Thanks OP and everyone for getting us thinking before just jumping in!

  22. Alba4

    nectarine / 2951 posts

    Both my boys are. I don’t regret it at all.

  23. Umbreon

    clementine / 843 posts

    Can I just point put all the posts here about reattachment issues, having to have it redone, etc. Are probably MORE common than issues with an uncircumcised baby?

  24. graceandjoy

    pear / 1565 posts

    @Becky: I'm glad! I also, way back then when I never thought I'd actually have a boy, thought that circumcision is just the way it goes. Also really glad everyone kept it together here to be civil to one another

    @Umbreon: Yes! I was reading about that and used all the data I found to reassure my friend who has been feeling guilty!

  25. MrsSCB

    pomelo / 5252 posts

    @Umbreon: to be fair, she asked if anyone regrets it, so I think that will tend to skew the comments to people discussing any issues. I don't think they're that common.

    FWIW, the AAP says benefits outweigh the risks but not enough to recommend it routinely, so it's up to parental discretion. I'd think if they were seeing a lot of issues or complications they would recommend against.

  26. Umbreon

    clementine / 843 posts

    @MrsSCB: I dont think anyone who did not circumcise said they regretted it (although I wont go through every response again). Seems more common that people regret circumcising than not based on this thread. Just wanted to point it out.

  27. MrsSCB

    pomelo / 5252 posts

    @Umbreon: well, my point was that the questions were “did anyone not circumcise or regret that they did?” I.e. specifically searching for regrets about circumcising. So yes, there were several, but I don’t think that’s an accurate representation overall. At least not that I’ve seen anywhere else unbiased, even on this site 🤷‍♀️ Regardless, I don’t really care what people do one way or another, there are pros and cons to either!

  28. smuckers

    apricot / 382 posts

    I was also super torn about whether or not to circumcise. We ended up doing it for DS, as my husband and his family have a lot of diabetes in their family, so there's a genetic pre-disposition on that. I researched a TON, and a medical study I read that showed that men who have diabetes and are uncircumcised have a much greater chance of needing circumcision as an adult, which made the decision for me. I don't regret it, but I also wouldn't have been terribly devastated if it hadn't worked out. The hospital that we used did plastibell.

    Anecdotally, one of my best friend's husband is uncircumcised and urged me to do it based on his experience growing up.

  29. jhd

    coconut / 8073 posts

    @MrsSCB: you brought up a good point. I didn’t comment on this thread because of the title. We have two boys and both were circumcised with no issues whatsoever and we have no regrets about doing it.

  30. bees_knees

    persimmon / 1027 posts

    @jhd: @MrsSCB: Same. We have 3 boys, all were circumcised in the hospital by a pediatrician. 2 of them slept through the entire procedure. We had no issues, no regrets.

  31. MenagerieMama

    pear / 1547 posts

    DS is not, zero regrets. DH isn’t either. I was trained to do circumcisions in residency and cutting up baby boys made me so sad. I’ve decided to not perform them at my current job and did not want cosmetic surgery on my baby. I’m lucky enough to live in a first world country where the benefits don’t outweigh the risks and no religious reasons for our family.

  32. Miss Ariel

    nectarine / 2198 posts

    Being Jewish it was important to me to do so. Our mohel was actually a urologist, which dh really appreciated. We did the bris in our house so we were able to be there the whole time.

  33. Jellyfish

    apricot / 334 posts

    DS was circumcised at the hospital by OB, no issues and no regrets.

  34. graceandjoy

    pear / 1565 posts

    Sooo my little boy was born 1/22! We decided not to circumcise and we are happy and at peace with our choice!

    My friend also gave birth to a boy last week and she chose to circumcise. Apparently they now do it where they put a plastic ring/string around the foreskin, and after 5 days the skin just falls off like the umbilical cord, no pain/bleeding? Anyone heard of that?

    I feel like if I knew this was an option to circumcise vs the good old fashion “surgery”, I might have really considered doing it! Can’t say I wasn’t tempted after hearing about this new to me way of doing it!

  35. Sams Mom

    grapefruit / 4492 posts

    @graceandjoy: yeah that's the plastibell, it's one of the common ones. I think everyone in my pediatricians practice does plastibell or Gomco clamp.

  36. graceandjoy

    pear / 1565 posts

    @Sams Mom: ah! thanks for enlightening me!

  37. MrsSRS

    nectarine / 2987 posts

    We did not and have no regret

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