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I'm as prepared as you can be I think. My mum isn't in the best of health (in fact she was in hospital for 2 days the latter part of this past week) and our relationship went through the "role reversal" stage (me looking after her rather than the other way around) when I was in my mid teens - so that's more than half my life now! Practically, I'm prepared. I know how I'll fund her funeral, I know exactly what I need to do about her house, her bills, her will (I'm the executor). Emotionally - well of course I will be devastated... and shocked, because as much as you prepare for this stuff it is always a shock.
I lost my dad 8 months ago and, again, I was prepared for it - he was an alcoholic. His battle with cancer went from "Ooh, I have a lump" to 'in-a-hospice-weighing-5-stone' in less than a year. It was devastating to watch and I think of him every day, but the pain subsided after a couple of months and when I think of him now it's usually just fond memories and no sadness.
Now DH's parents - that's a whole different ball game. They are only a couple of years younger than mine but they are so fit and healthy. And we *need* them, you know? I love my mum with all my heart and she's always there for me but I don't *need* her (she needs me, mainly) but DH's parents... it's different. We turn to them and they're the adults in the relationship... they fix things.....I'm not ready to lose them for a long time and I suspect the thought has never even crossed DH's mind.... scary stuff.
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I lost my dad in November and we had some time to prepare and yet it still just turned my world upside down. We had a great relationship but I wouldn't say we were super close and probably only talked a couple of times a month before he got sick. I was blessed to be able to spend a lot of time with him before he passed but it simply is never enough.
My mom's health has always been shaky and I am scared of losing her on the sooner end of the spectrum too. My in-laws are thankfully in great health but my dad was too before he got cancer-- it felt like such a fluke even though I know logically he did have some risk factors. It sounds awful but I would really resent if my kids don't get to meet either of my parents (I wouldn't necessarily resent anyone in particular but it would really upset me a lot.)
I appreciate reading the stories of some of you who have lost a parent and knowing that I am not alone in the way I am processing it. It has been six months and while it isn't as raw as it was I still think of him several times a day and cry at least once a week. It is remarkably hard to get through this and like several of you have mentioned I can't even imagine ever going through it again and yet I know I will eventually have to go through it again. It is not a fun prospect...
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I'm not even remotely close to being emotionally ready for my mom to pass. That would be incredibly tough on me. This sounds AWFUL, but while I'm also not ready for my dad to pass on, I think I could handle him better than mom. I'm just so incredibly close to my mom, like super close! She's my best friend besides my husband!
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Absolutely not. I'm not sure how you can every prepare yourself for that.
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