Did you tell your parents and inlaws when you decided to TTC? If so, were they supportive?
My parents are very supportive of our decision to start TTC soon, but my husbands parents keep giving us the unsolicited advice to wait. We asked them why they felt we should wait, but they can't give us a good reason.
It's a bit hurtful that they aren't happy for us, but I can deal with it as long as they are happy for us when we announce a pregnancy.
Have you had issues with non-supportive family?
hostess / wonderful honeydew / 32460 posts
We weren't trying to conceive when we got pregnant, so it was a surprise to everyone. LO's 11 months old right now and every so often my mom and I will talk about baby #2.. DH and I are all for getting pregnant soon (we're not trying, not preventing). My mom thinks we should wait until LO gets older though. I don't take her opinion as being unsupportive.. it's just how she feels about the situation. I know she'd be SUPER happy and in love with baby #2 as well.
I'm sure your in-laws will be thrilled when you do get pregnant. I haven't had too much experience having people tell me that they're trying to conceive, but depending on their age, how long they've been married, how close I am to them, I might be tempted to ask if they're sure they don't wanna wait longer too.
Wow. This comment is getting long!
Good luck with TTC!! 
And try not to let your in-laws' reaction rain on your parade! Baby dance away and hope you have a sticky baby soon!!
GOLD / wonderful grape / 20289 posts
We didn't tell people we were TTC. But they were very excited when we told them we were pregnant. They were ready for more grandchildren!
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
Like @artbee, we didn't tell people we were TTC, but man were they excited when we told them we were expecting!! Both sets of parents are supportive, mine are much more so than his, though.
Example: Mine have offered to help when the baby is born, want to be there when she is introduced to the world (not in the labor room, just in the waiting room) have offered care when needed - Mom is going to be our daycare for a month. His parents just said they could probably come up for the Christening.
pineapple / 12793 posts
DH told his mom we were TTC and she told him having children was the biggest mistake in her life. Soooo not supportive.
We told my parents (cause we needed support after MIL's reaction) and they are too the moon excited.
clementine / 889 posts
We didn't tell our families, except my sister and my SIL, that we were TTC. I told my sister since she was planning her wedding, and I wanted to reassure her we were planning around her wedding so we could attend. I told my SIL because she's so supportive and my go-to person for girl talk. My parents told us over and over to wait 5 years! We waited 5 weeks, but they were ecstatic when we told them. I think they were concerned about us adjusting to married life, being new homeowners and having time to really strengthen our relationship and have a solid foundation before we added kids to the mix. I think my dad knew how stressful the first year of marriage can be, as well as how stressful having a child can be and didn't want us doing it all at once.
GOLD / squash / 13464 posts
We didn't tell anyone. But then I got pregnant and quickly miscarried and we told our parents and siblings about it. So now they know we are trying again and they are soooooooooo excited.
GOLD / eggplant / 11517 posts
We are in the minority in that both sets of parents know we are TTC. And both are 100% supportive. I thought my parents would have suggested we wait longer, but once they knew we were trying they haven't said anything of the sort.
cherry / 149 posts
A lot of you didn't tell your parents when you were starting TTC, which I would have done too.
His parents kept making comments like "Oh, you don't want to have a baby for at least 5-10 years" ever single time I held a baby or DH would point out a cute LO in a store.
Finally we were just like "Actually, we want one much sooner. We plan on having several, and we don't want to wait years. So get excited, you might be grandparents next year!!!"
Didn't go over so well. But you know, we've been married almost a year, we have good jobs, our financial situation is set and steady for at least the next ten years, and we want a baby! So... they'll just have to GET happy. 
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
@oliviaoblivia: wait what? so she basically said that having DH was a mistake?
hostess / wonderful honeydew / 32460 posts
@oliviaoblivia: WOW. Sounds like your mil is a winner 
pineapple / 12793 posts
@Andrea: @chopsuey119: Yeah. She's a special lady. The best thing she ever did for DH was hire nannies!
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
@oliviaoblivia: yikes, good thing you have your supportive parents!
cantaloupe / 6791 posts
Yes, both of our parents are supportive of us and grandparents too! However, I've had some friends who are NOT supportive. So I definitely have felt hurt because of it and it really does suck. Especially when its completely unsolicited advice. One friend of mine was a good friend all the way since 6th grade. She kept telling me not to have kids yet without me even mentioning the subject. But when another friend our age announced her pregnancy and she was ecstatic for her, I asked her what the difference was and why I didn't get the same support. She said "oh its a different situation." During this conversation I became so hurt and upset that we haven't spoken in 2 months and honestly its so nice to not have to hear negative comments.
I'm sorry your in-laws aren't supportive of your decisions 
coconut / 8498 posts
We didn't tell our parents that we were TTC, because we weren't actively trying. However, we got pregnant quickly and then had a miscarriage. They were much more excited about the second baby than the first. They were both supportive of the first, but we had been married just over a year, and I think they hoped we would wait a bit. Actually, DH's parents told us several times to wait "at least 5, but 10 is better" years.
blogger / watermelon / 14218 posts
@oliviaoblivia: good god. that's awful.
We basically convinced my parents to let us get married young, and they tried to make us wait, but we didn't. Then we didn't mention babies for over 3 years. They never mentioned it to us and I think they were ready to object for the first 2 years or so, then afraid to mention it for another year or two. When we finally told them we were pregnant (never told them we were TTC) they were relieved and happy. I waited them out...!! Haha. Victory.
pineapple / 12793 posts
@mrs. wagon: @Ardently: @Andrea: The worst part about it was how nonchalantly she said it. Like it wasn't the biggest insult in the history of the world. But she's like that. Only thinks about herself.
Thankfully I met and fell in love with DH before I met she who must not be named....otherwise we might not have gotten this thing off the ground.
I hope you all have more supportive mothers.
blogger / watermelon / 14218 posts
@oliviaoblivia: I'm interested to know how your DH reacted to the comment? Is it the kind of thing he's just used to by now?
It's good to know that sometimes the apple falls far, far away from the tree!!
pineapple / 12793 posts
@mrs. wagon: He's mostly used to it. She drank really heavily when he was growing up and apparently used to be worse. That time he called her out on how insensitive she was and she just shrugged it off.
Sometimes he gets really depressed about not having her support but fortunately he has been seeking out my folks.
I am always amazed that the loving, sweet, wonderful man I married came from her.
pomegranate / 3388 posts
We didn't tell our parents. I think they would have been supportive (with the exception of DH's dad who seems to think that having kids is just a huge burden). However, DH isn't super close with either of his parents. Also, I know that my mom got pregnant right away with both me and my sister, so I was worried that she wouldn't be very understanding if it took us a while to conceive.
blogger / watermelon / 14218 posts
@oliviaoblivia: you're a lucky woman, and he is lucky for having you and it's so great that he's able to seek out your parents. What a shame he had to grow up like that, but I guess that's what adulthood is all about... making the most out of crappy situations you have no control over.
High five to your DH for coming out of that and having to still deal with it from time to time :T
kiwi / 534 posts
My parent's are super supportive. My in laws wish there was no biological tie between them and myself
cherry / 149 posts
@mrs. wagon: He is used to it, but he was a little offended mostly for my sake. He always expects more out of them then they give though, like he still has hope. I don't expect anything anymore, I brace myself for the worst every time.
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
Our parents were surprised but very supportive! We definitely needed their support because we had to scramble to move up our wedding!
blogger / watermelon / 14218 posts
@ecogirl: yuck!!! I'm so sorry you have to deal with that.
@Ardently: that is a really good attitude to take when it comes to families and in-laws... honestly. That's where we try to stand most of the time so that when the bad things come, it can just roll off of us as easily as possible.
kiwi / 534 posts
Thanks MrsWagon. It's difficult but I will always try to delight them
Ardently it's so hard, isn't it?
hostess / eggplant / 11068 posts
@oliviaoblivia: I think you already know how I feel about your MIL but ugh, seriously!?!?
kiwi / 534 posts
@Oliviaoblivia I just now read your posts about it! I'm sorry my dear! It's awful isn't it? I think it can do a big number on your self esteem if you let it. So we won't let it
bananas / 9227 posts
We didn't announce it when we first started TTC. We feel that it's a personal matter and telling people will only add stress to an already stressful time.
| Today | Monthly Record | |
|---|---|---|
| Topics | 0 | 1 |
| Posts | 1 | 3 |
Ask for Help
Make a Suggestion
Frequently Asked Questions
Bee Levels
Acronyms
Most Viewed Posts
Hellobee Gold
Hellobee Recipes
Hellobee Features
Hellobee Contests
Baby-led Weaning
Bento Boxes
Breastfeeding
Newborn Essentials
Parties
Postpartum Care Essentials
Sensory Play Activities
Sleep Training
Starting Solids Gear
Transitioning to Toddler Bed
All Series
Who We Are
About the Bloggers
About the Hostesses
Contributing Bloggers
Apply to Blog
Apply to Hostess
Submit a Guest Blog
Hellobee Buttons
How We Make Money
Community Policies
- Google Plus
- Stumbleupon
- Twitter
- Facebook
- Pinterest
- Favorite0
30 comments