Are your parents divorced? When I was growing up, I would do a lot of back and forth between my divorced parents. They both remarried so I also had a stepmom and stepdad, along with a stepsister and stepbrother.
Back and forth would entail two birthdays for both me and my sister, two father's days, two mothers days, two thanksgivings, two christmases, two father's birthdays, two mother's birthdays, etc etc. It could have been fun to have so many celebrations, but to be honest, it was very stressful.
Now that I am married and have a family of my own, I am wondering how to handle these holidays along with my son's birthdays going forward. It drove me crazy to have to have so many difference celebrations. So, for example, I get stressed because father's day would entail celebrating for my husband, my husband's father, my father and my stepfather. Its nuts!
(A little background - I had to pull teeth to get my biological mother to come to my wedding. And she has told me she is not coming to my LO's 1st birthday party if my father is there. They had a very bad marriage which haunts her to this day.)
I want to at least just have one birthday a year for LO and invite both sets of parents to it. If they choose to come then great. If they choose not to come, I figure their loss. But is that harsh and unrealistic to their feelings?
I would be stressed too! Are you closer to either parent? I definitely wouldn't have 2 parties for my LO. If your mom is traumatized by her marriage to your dad, maybe you should just invite her to your LO's first and have a dinner or lunch with your dad and his wife? 2nd and beyond you can invite both and let them deal with whether they want to come..
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