Hellobee Boards

I had this problem, I found it was resolved really easily by buying some of the more expensive or "unnecessary" things used!

We got our video monitor ($10) at a yard sale and my boppy ($5) at a consignment sale. I figured the crib wasn't a huge deal as long as it was safe so, we got a $100 Ikea crib that looks great in the room. Our changing table was from the consignment sale ($20). My husband took it and repainted it for me. We got a bassinet ($30) for the bedroom, the jumperoo ($25) and lots of cute and like new clothes at the consignment sale for super cheap.

Is your husband a good deal guy? Buying used may help in this case if so!

We also thought we didn't need a video monitor. 8 months after lo was born we realized we were wrong and bought a cheapo one. 10 months later it broke and now we just had to buy a nicer one. Invest in a good video monitor!

DH wasn't like this, whatever I said we needed we would get but a lot of it was second hand. We did splurge on the travel system and pump, and the crib was gifted. We got a lot at our baby shower too!

@Cherrybee:

I think you've come to the right place... I am pretty much constantly shocked by the amount of shopping other bees do pre-baby, I don't think you will find much objection here! I think a big part of it is fuelled by the shower/registry culture which while American, is fast becoming the norm here in the UK as well.

I feel like you are forced into purchasing/asking other people to purchase so much "baby" stuff way, way before you will need it (if ever). I am slightly bemused why people would buy things that a 6 month or one year old will need when you are in your second trimester..? Just for it to clutter up your house for the best part of a year?

I suppose by definition I am a minimalist and I do not get the concept of purchasing tons of baby specific things.

I think in many ways babies have become the new wedding. Planning the nursery/shower/sip and see have become pre baby rights of passage for the mother to indulge in planning and materialism. (Trust me I get the irony of me posting this on Hellobee).

Personally, it doesn't sit well with me. Pregnancy is a miracle worth celebrating in itself. The creation of new life and hope. Is that not enough? Do we have to smoother it objects/imagined ideas/mothercentric garbage anyway?

I would much rather spend the money on things we may need when baby is here. Medical things not covered by the NHS, physio, dinners out with my husband... Etc..

Lastly, I suppose I have some weird superstitiousness about me. I just would not be comfortable buying so many things for baby before their safe arrival. I don't know, not wanting to tempt fate.

I just realised this became a bit of a rant. Just been on my mind a lot recently. I appreciate it is probably not the norm on this board!

We didn't have a lot of baby stuff. I got a sling, some bottles in case BFing didn't go well, a place for LO to sleep, and clothes/diapers. The stroller and car seat were our big purchases.

I suggest waiting and seeing what you actually use. I decided I did want a nursing pillow after LO was born, but other than that, we didn't buy much baby stuff with really limited lifespans. Part of that was economic considerations, part was a space issue.

LO is a toddler now, and it is hard not to buy books and (expensive wooden) toys at this stage, because he loves them and they'll get years of use! But I really think less is more where children are concerned.

The hubby and I are complete opposites of you two. I'm the practical one while he's the OMG! This is sooo nice, must have, who cares what the price tag is, etc. It's kind of funny.

@Cherrybee: Also, try to convince him to go look at gear in person. My husband total dismissed the idea that we needed a $400 stroller until we went to BRU and test drove the cheap $200 strollers and he agreed the extra features were worth the extra money. Guys need to see the stuff in person!!

@Thehistoryofus: Interesting-- DH was the opposite. he didn't see the point of going to the store, since he only wanted to read the reviews online anyway. So much more boring that way!

@Cherrybee: Yeah, it also helps and doesn't help that I havea friend due around the same time as me, who already owns a 2 bedroom place and is furniture shopping and everything now. I KNOW it's early, but I'm like, well HER husband went shopping with her, why won't you?? Hormones... sheesh.

I'm like @tororojo: in this way. I researched and researched all sorts of baby items and would keep a list on Excel to update and edit way before I even created my registry. It was super helpful because when I would see a really crazy good deal and I already knew it was something I wanted, I'd just get it. (i.e. Snugabunny swing for $40, Boppy Pillow w/cover $30, TT bottles 2 for $8, NoseFrida for $5, etc.) In that way, I saved a lot and could use baby shower gifts towards other things!

My DH doesn't object too much like yours it seems, but what HAS helped were 2 things:

1) I took him to a baby store where he got to see the real retail prices of things I was finding deals on. This allowed him to understand how much I was saving! Seeing other parents-to-be getting the same things and paying so much more was helpful too. And the Sales Associate that was there to help explain and show us functions and products, etc. and comparisons. We only did this once since DH is busy and I do most of the stuff online. One trip was enough for him to just be like "okay - I trust you honey! You do your thing!"

2) OTHER Dads (and Moms) that are his friends or co-workers. He actually was the one who came home to me after he learned about his friend's video monitor! He saw first-hand the convenience and need for it and told me we NEED one with night-vision and talk-back options. And wanted a phone app option after he talked to a few more co-workers about it. Their opinions of what were "life-savers" are worth their weight in gold! Even the NoseFrida, which I would have never mentioned to DH about, but his co-worker's kid had RSV and told him how it worked SO much better than the regular bulb. Those kinds of dad-to-dad tips have made a lot of impact on DH as he soaks up new-dad advice!

@Cherrybee: Yeah, I don't know how I lucked out on the fact that most of DH's co-workers are all parents with small kids already. Actually, they do a lot of convincing him of stuff for me! lol! The NoseFrida one was funny because it was actually at the baby shower his co-workers threw for us. One of the dad's was talking about the RSV and his kids needing medicine. So I randomly tossed out, have you ever used the NoseFrida and what do you think? Then HE went on to say how awesome it was, better than the battery-operated one, and how the bulb was gross, etc. lol! And the women in his office are pretty awesome, always telling him what he needs to do as a dad. But if you can get in front of a dad your DH values his opinion, maybe some subtle way of bringing up a video monitor would help. I think out of everything, that one is for sure a must!

@Cherrybee: The nosefrida is essential! I saw a post a week or so ago about mold growing in bulb syringes so I went home and cut open all 3 of ours. There was mold!! And I clean the heck out of those bulb syringes too! By the way, I have a super frugal and practical husband and he's always fighting me on baby gear. But I buy it anyway and try to find a way to convince him!

Haha, I was the exact same way and we had the same "discussions!" But I got everything that I wanted and then...I returned it all. There was so much crap that I just didn't need or use and it took over my house. Then I discovered buying gently used and now I have hundreds in store credit and nothing to buy

@sarac: I actually am too. I think they're really unnecessary.

@Cherrybee: He could chat with my DH! Mine wanted me to use a plastic bag as a diaper bag for awhile. And my DH follows the English Premier League so that could chat about that, too!

@Cherrybee: You are so cute! Baby stuff is really compelling.

But really, if I might interject, I'd definitely stay away from movement monitors. They have never been demonstrated to prevent anything, despite what their marketing will have you believe.