Hellobee Boards

I got really upset when people didn't give up the seat for me in my second trimester, but it was only when i was in my third trimester that i realized people probably couldn't tell i was pregnant.

If i had really bad morning sickness, i'd ask for the seat.

If NYC had that badge, I would've used it from the very beginning so I vote first trimester! Nausea on the subway is the worst, not to mention the extreme fatigue. I would expect people to give up their seat if someone got on with the badge, no matter if they're showing or not.

For what it's worth, the second I had any sort of bump worth mentioning, I made sure to unzip my coat, rub my belly and sigh loudly every time I got on the subway and there were no available seats. It worked like a charm

Going to be honest here, I don't think I'd give up my seat for a pregnant woman unless she was very visibly pregnant and ready to pop. Even then, she'd have to catch me on a good day.

Lots of people have health issues that require them to sit but they don't get a special pass for it.

Also--very interested to hear from those who voted no priority seating for pregnant women. Just curious about the rationale!

I voted no priority seating, but I also refuse to use the special parking at the grocery store just because I'm pregnant. I just don't expect special treatment, I guess. If i need someone to do something for me (get a heavy box, etc), I ask nicely.

I'd just go up to someone who looks young and ask if you can have their seat. I wouldn't expect someone to just give it to you unless you looked VERY pregnant. After all, it's SO hard to tell who's just kind of heavy in the middle and who's pregnant; knowing my luck, I'd accidentally offer a heavy woman my seat and piss her off!!! (and the tag on your bag may not be super obvious if people are napping, ha)

Since public transport is definitely bothersome to you, just speak up. I'm sure once you say, "hey i'm pregnant and really nauseous, can I have your seat please?" someone will be nice about it.

@blackbird: My friend is in her first trimester and takes the red line to work. She was super nauseous and felt like she was going to faint--she said to a young man "I am pregnant and I am starting to feel quite dizzy--would you mind letting me sit down?" She said everyone in the vicinity looked like they were about to get hurled on and jumped up and out the way! Haha. She was slightly offended but laughed about it later.

@maybebaby, exactly, lol. If you want something, you gotta ask for it! I have low expectations for people in general, though, to just be courteous because I think they're generally just kind of in their own little world

@Mrs. Monkey: Oh no--I totally didn't mean to imply that, I just meant that I like the idea of priority seating for those who need it in general. Hoping your MS fades soon!

This may ruffle some feathers but I guess I don't understand the special treatment for pregnant women. It's not a disability, so why expect to be treated any differently than everyone else? Sometimes I feel like (certain) pregnant women expect everyone around them to cater to their every need. Naturally I understand if she's experiencing some additional health issues but even then, that's not exactly society's problem. Beyond the person who helped create the baby and perhaps her close family and friends, I think it's kind of rude for her to expect that other people care enough to let it affect their own lives (even by just giving up a precious seat on the train after a long days work). I see pregnant women everyday and they don't really faze me at all. I treat them the same way that I treat everyone else. I don't think anymore than that should be expected.

I think it is just common courtesy to give up your seat to someone who needs it more than you do. An elderly person, a frazzled mom with kids, a teenager with a broken leg - anyone who looks like they might appreciate a seat! I was on the train when I was 38 weeks pregnant and I looked like I was going to pop my balloon, the train was crowded (rush hour) and I was standing with my belly right in the face of a man who was sitting down. No one offered a seat to me and avoided all eye-contact with me (I was staring everyone down!). I was peeved.

@Rubies: Man I would have just asked for a seat. No one would have had the audacity to actually refuse you if you asked, I'm sure!

@Rubies: Well they'd look like a real jerk if they refused, that's enough to motivate most people to reluctantly do a good deed!

In Quebec, where I grew up there usually seems to be a small army of elderly women on the bus who will make sure a pregnant woman has a seat lol!

@pui: Love the armies of elderly women! My dad has a cane, and rides the metro to work. He's had a few older women say loudly on his behalf, "Why doesn't some young person get up and give this gentleman a seat?!" haha.

Yup...coming from a person who had horrible MS for 3 months in the first and second tri...riding on public transportation with morning sickness is a special kind of hell. For those of you that haven't ever had the severe cases of MS, imagine having a serious stomach flu continuously for 3 months.

So, I think if a city has buttons, as soon as the woman "needs it", they should use it. Some women may have no problems standing until the end of the 3rd. Some women may need it as soon as 6 weeks.

I'm totally capable of standing for long periods now at 5 1/2 months. But from weeks 6-17, standing for long periods made me super dizzy and barfy. Well, I felt the same when sitting or lying, but less dizzy at least, and therefore less likely to actually throw up.

I don't ride public transportation, but just in general (in a waiting room, opening doors, helping me with groceries, etc.) I expected to be helped in my 3rd trimester. I was huge and miserable and could barely walk or breathe, so if I walked into a waiting room (and someone didn't offer their seat, not going to lie, I was miffed. But I live in the south and manners are important here. You'd better move your ass for someone elderly, disabled or pregnant or your mother would slap you upside the head. Actually if you are an able bodied male, you should just get up for a woman, anyways. Not sure how it is elsewhere in the country.

@Mrs. Monkey: I was the same way in my first trimester-- I didn't look pregnant at all, but every morning it was so crowded and hot and miserable on the train. Luckily I take it with DH in the mornings, so at least I was pushed up against him and not some gross stranger, but it was really awful. We don't have any such badges here, but if we did, I think I would have used it some mornings (but pushed my stomach out at the same time!)

I'm only just starting to be showing obviously, but if I was an outside observer, I'd still be hesitant to offer me a seat because I might just have a thick middle. I'm 20 weeks. I think it will be more obvious once I stop wearing a winter coat though.

@maybebaby: I wish I had done that sometimes (telling people I'm sick so they'd move). I take the green line in and the jerky stopping and starting was brutal, and I did have to get off of trains that were overheated. Now I like to talk sort of loudly about baby this or pregnant that just to see if people will notice. So far, no dice (for the record, I probably wouldn't take a seat if offered at this point, since I'm feeling OK. First tri, I would have in a heart beat.)

I would never expect it at any point.

@mrsmenow: tape measure?

In all seriousness, I think it's usually pretty clear who needs a seat most. As a relatively young man, it's almost never me...

@mrbee: Does a small bump, with groceries top a big bump? I think that is what I would do. Carry big bags that look like they would be heavy, but are really light, lol.

I know I would give my seat to someone (I don't use any public transportation), but I wouldn't expect it from others. I never used those parking stalls, even right after LO was born and I would be taking all 3 kidos out by myself.