Hellobee Boards

@mrsmenow: I haven't seen many close calls on the subway or bus. It's almost always one pregnant woman or elderly person standing, and an army of young and middle-aged men and women ignoring them.

In New York City, the buses have a section of seats in the front that is marked for priority seating for the elderly and disabled. That makes it really clear that if someone comes on that really needs a seat, any able-bodied person in those seats has to move.

I think something like that would be a good model for all public transportation! Maybe with some language in there also to cover pregnant women... that sort of awareness-raising really does make a difference, I think.

I should say, when not pregnant, I will happily (or sometimes, reluctantly, but I know it's the right thing to do) give up my seat to elderly people, pregnant women, and people who look like they really need it for whatever reason-- like an able bodied person with heavy bags, someone on crutches or even with a wrap or cast on their arm (a lot harder to hold on when one of your arms or hands is hurting). Anything physical that shows me that this person might really appreciate a seat is enough for me to offer it to them, as long as I'm not worried about offending them (is she pregnant or bloated? Will that lady think I'm calling her old?) Maybe it's not expected, but I sure will expect my children to offer and be polite when they are on the train.

@mrsmenow: I'm not upset lol. And I don't think anyone here said that you should get to sit everyday just because you are pregnant. Obviously early on or if you are otherwise feeling fine you should stand and let someone more deserving sit. However, I think if someone very late into a pregnancy comes on to the bus, someone should at least *offer* their seat instead of averting their eyes. It's common courtesy.

I was always raised to be courteous, and to be generous. If that means I have to stand for a little bit while I ride transportation, that's fine if I'm well and able, I will gladly give my seat up to anyone that needs it!

I personally think that a pregnant woman would need a seat much more than I would. I mean...they are growing a life (or tow or more!) inside of them. A heck of a lot more than I have going on in my life! LOL

I think once it's obvious. i can see people not offering if they're not sure if it's a baby bump or not.

But I was always thankful when someone offered their seat, even though it didn't always happen. For me part of the problem with standing was people ran into my belly. I physically wanted to hurt them when that happened. But when standing on a crowded train it's hard for that not to happen.

i would say from the beginning! but when someone is in the 1st tri, they aren;t showing, so the other riders wouldn't know they needed a seat without the badge (also, even into the 2nd trimester, i'm hesitant to ask someone if they need my seat because what if they aren't pregnant and they get offended!)

I don't think that a visibly pregnant woman "trumps" a disabled person, but I do think that on most trains there are at least a few able bodied passengers who could give up their seat for a visibly pregnant woman. I feel like it's a safety issue in that it is much easier for a pregnant woman to fall because there is so much additional weight being carried out front and a fall could potentially harm the baby. I don't know that we should use the word expected, but it's certainly the courteous thing to at least offer and let her make the decision.

I also think that if a woman in the 1st tri is feeling sick on the train, she shouldn't feel bad about asking someone for their seat.