DH asked me the other day, who would have a shower for me, and when it would be. I explained to him that my mom is adamant that baby showers are after the baby is born, just in case and then everyone can see the baby. I completely understand that, but I really like the idea of before, then we can get all the gifts organized and settled, washed, set up etc. DH said- then what do you do with all the things you need right away? you have to buy them yourself. What about the crib? Stroller etc. I agree with him. So curious- are showers common before or after in your area, social groups?
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In my circle showers are held before. But, as a parent or parent to-be I would not expect or rely on others to gift my baby the essentials or nice-to-haves.
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I've always known showers to be before
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Before, unless a baby came very early.
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I have only ever known showers to be before the baby is born. After is more of a "sip n see" or meet and greet.
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I've always heard of showers being before. I'd be stressed if it was after, and I would end up going out and buying everything myself.
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I've only heard of showers being held after if the baby came super early.
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I've never heard of a shower being held after. It seems like it would cause extreme stress both from not knowing what to buy/what you'll get, and having to deal with a shower when you're exhausted and dealing with a newborn.
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The only time I've heard of showers being AFTER is for Jewish couples.
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Before - never heard of after.
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@MrsScottish: Among my friends we have two main options, either a baby shower before the birth or a formal party afterwards and people usually give money at the party. We went for the party
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Way too stressful to have it after! Plus I don't want a lot of people around her now. It's true you can't count on gifts for all the essentials, but people WILL want to buy you stuff so you prob wouldn't have to buy everything. We bought all the big stuff ourselves (stroller, crib) and were gifted a lot of the other essentials.
Lo is 10 days old and I am nowhere near ready for a party with her!
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I've only heard of showers being planned before. I do hear of "sip and sees" for after the baby is born if you have a large group of people (family/friends) you want to meet baby, but for the most part you want to have baby items ready in advance of your due date, since you'll have your hands full! Obviously you shouldn't count on shower gifts to take care of all your items (our BIG items were either purchased by us or by our parents, shower items tended to be smaller - but still somewhat vital - items) but the point of a shower is to help the family get ready for baby. The only time I've heard of people not having showers before baby were Jewish friends. We did other things to celebrate but it is considered bad luck (I believe?) to have baby items in the house beforehand. Where I grew up in NJ many stores would hold everything and have it delivered for you when you had the baby. I would definitely want to have at least one shower before baby came!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so glad I did, we feel a lot more prepared.
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In my family/circle, the showers are usually in the month or 2 before baby arrives. Mostly the guests are extremely generous and often want to purchase the big ticket items either solo or in groups. and for the most part the showers are a surprise for the mother to be.
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Before! I've never heard of having a shower after. How do you know what you still need to get if you haven't gotten the gifts yet??
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We had one before, even though my religion/culture says to have one after. I'm a planner and just couldn't handle that. My MIL had no baby things in her house until the baby came. They were at her parents house and when she was at the hospital they brought it all over and set it all up for her.
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I not only had mine before, I insisted on having them at 26 & 27 weeks so I would have plenty of time to plan before the baby came. The timing worked out really well since they were at the beginning of the summer and that worked better for most people anyway. We did not make any baby related purchases until after the showers so we could figure out what we still needed.
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I hope I didnt come across as greedy and expecting lots of gifts!! I have just always found it weird to have showers after. I have only been to showers that are after... but I hope to break that tradition!! I could not imagine trying to deal with a newborn, by body post-partum and no sleep! That stresses me out and I am not even pregnant yet! I am a total type a, and would want everything organized and ready. If it was after I would buy EVERYTHING that is needed, right down to wash clothes and socks. I would not want to wait and see....
I was just curious as it is very common to have them after here, but I would prefer it before! Thanks for answering...
(just another way to distract myself at work.....) -
Actually, I've only been to baby showers held AFTER the babe was born. I've seen pictures posted on FB of other people having showers before, but never been to one.
TBH, after a close friend had a stillborn (healthy pregnancy all the way through until the end of labor), I don't think I would want one before. And being the mother, like a bride, I would just want to show up with the baby, not do any of the planning or organizing. If no one else did, that would be fine. And I won't expect gifts, either. Like a wedding, we will prepare ourselves, not expect everyone else to. If we receive things we already have, its called "re-gifting". Or Kijiji. Always someone else that needs it.
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Always before over here, I've never been to a baby shower that was after. Usually between 25-35 weeks, after the anatomy scan for sure.
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Before. I've never heard of after. But my family helps provide most of the essentials. My dad paid for my nieces furniture, cousins chipped in for her stroller, I bought her super expensive diaper bag.
Just how we do it.
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My family and half my friends seem to do them before. I think they figure that they can entice people to come in exchange for getting to hold a baby. Half my friends do it after (they are ones thay have kids, so I think they know how much more beneficial it would be to have them before.
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