Hellobee Boards

@Zbug: So, so much love to you. I hate that this is something that keeps happening. It's so incredibly unfair.

@MrsDragon:

@Zbug: Did you have follow up betas? x

@MrsDragon: Thanks and same to you. hang in there

@Zbug: Sending LOTS of good vibes. xx

@delight: Right back at you. *hugs*

@Shantuck: hoping for a little miracle for you!

@Shantuck: oh I'm so sorry I had a natural m/c as well so i have no input on the d&c. sending you huge hugs

@Shantuck: I'm so sorry. I used misoprostol for my m/c, so I have no experience with the D&C. I hope it goes smoothly for you.

@Shantuck: You will be ok. The D&C really isn't that bad... it's the emotions that go with it that are tough. Wall me if you have any questions at all. x

@Shantuck: the d&c is really not that bad, I felt barely anything at all thanks to general anaesthetic. And only a bit of spotting that day, but more bleeding for few days afterwards. I slept a lot and just hung out in bed while DH brought me food. I felt quite shocked and numb emotionally for a good few days but physically was fine. I think you'll also feel ok but definitely make sure you've got someone to look after you.

@Tanjowen: of course you're worthy of another baby! Hope these holidays still have happy moments for you I hear you on the feelings though, sometimes I wonder what the universe is getting at! I have a few friends around me who are having new babies that they just conceived on the very first try off BC/trying and I hate how my initial reaction is excitement for them but then it devolves into weird envy as I imagine how little they know about anything

I just need to vent here without getting upset at my DH (not his fault!!) - I went on FB and found out that one of my old playgroup mums is very obviously pregnant, she never announced but a friend tagged her in a pic and it's so obvious she's due in a few months...I'm so gutted that I feel so sad about it! I had reached out to her around the time of my MC but she was always busy so I just let it fade, but probably lucky because she was evidently also early pregnant as well! what really gets me is she always used to say herDH was never ready for second baby & she had to persuade him to even think about the idea. I just feel crap because we wanted this so badly! And it is weird because I also thought we were friendly enough that she would tell me herself... that's another thing I suppose. Sorry for the vent! I'm hoping tomorrow brings happier moments.

@jaguar: Sorry to you too. tough when it's bittersweet like that.

Did I hear correctly that the proposed changes to the Medicare rebates for IVF aren't going through? That has got to be a huge relief!

@jaguar: I am with you with respect to this secondary infertility. It really sucks (though all infertility is awful). One interesting thing that is helping me keep faith that this will eventually work out was that I had to tell a few of my bosses about my d&c on Monday because I was going to miss work on a busy day. Both of the women I told immediately told me about their miscarriages, ivf treatments, etc. I normally sit in their offices and see pictures of their beautiful, smiling children with a pang of jealousy seeing their perfect families. However, I never knew how much each of them had been through to get to that point. This is now just a little blib in their memories. Anyway, it definitely made me feel less alone. They went through this 20+ years ago and came out on the other side. We will, too.

Ugh ladies. I thought I was pregnant again. Had a fairly clear positive test on Tuesday but lines have since then been barely there shadows. Pretty sure it's a chemical pregnancy. Again. The third early loss since September. I feel like everyone things since I'm still nursing (2x a day, and very little at that) I should expect a loss and am asking for it, or something. There's a tiny chance it could work out, maybe a Christmas miracle? Not keeping my hopes up, but certainly hoping. I have so much to be grateful for, but man, this one will sting.

Wishing you all a warm and happy holiday

@MaryM: I hope you managed to get some quiet time to escape if you need it.

@winniebee: I hope you are able to get a miracle. x

@Shantuck: Thanks for posting this. My therapist always tells me that I'll look back and realise all this meant something, or would be worth it, but when you're in the thick of the infertility combined with the loss, it feels really hard to see past it.

Happy holidays to my beautiful soul sisters on this thread. I wish it didn't exist, I wish we all had gotten our miracles already, and I'm thinking of our babies that should have/would have been here with us this Christmas.

Thanks for always being here. xxx

Hey ladies. It's been a long week, and I will fill you in later but looks like things might be okay. Thinking of you all and hope you have a wonderful christmas (if that's what you celebrate). 2016 is going to be better for us all!

No Christmas miracle. Another CP. here's to a good (or better) 2016 for all of us.

@winniebee: I'm so sorry.

Another pregnancy announcement today, from a friend.

That was it. Lost it completely. Left all Facebook groups, and considering shutting FB down altogether. This is too hard. I'm done.

Woke up to an announcement here, too. I've had a lot of good candid conversations with my MIL, who had a stillbirth, and am generally feeling ok but that did hit me in the heart a bit -- I wish I could just be someone who could be happy when there's a pregnancy announcement (and I wish that if it were me I wouldn't be terrified -- that's the hard part; I wish I could be that naive again).

@Nutella: ugh, I totally understand that. It's not that I'm not happy for them, but my heart is just broken.

@jaguar: losses are hard enough without the extra added challenge of infertility.

@MrsDragon: I tell dh all the time I miss my innocence. this process has robbed us of a lot.

@delight: thanks. ️ How'd you make it through?

@MaryM: big, huge hugs, friend. Try as our DHs might, sometimes they just don't understand.

@Shantuck: that's such a great reminder! It seems like everyone gets their families so easily, but we don't know what challenges they faced. It makes me hope I'll be the one with the large family down the road and this won't hurt so bad anymore.

My Christmas was fine. I only broke down crying once, which I'll consider a victory. I didn't get any questions about babies, though my cousin did keep trying to get me to hold her 8 month old. I did a lot of dishes to get away from her, lol.