I used to think so in my 20s. But then in my 30s, everyone seemed to prioritize their families over friendship. So now I don't know.
Can friends be like family?
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Sometimes I wish I had a group of friends that were as close as the people on Friends...ya know, close enough to spend holidays with and stuff. Although I love family time on holidays! So basically, I didn't answer your question.
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Sometimes friends are better than family!
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Well, I think it depends on how you define "family." It's definitely true that DH and LO come first, but after that, we're part of a a group of 6 families that do holidays together, vacation together, help each other out with moves and childcare and tough times and random stuff, etc. I'd definitely say that our closest friends are at least on par with our family, outside of our little 3-person unit.
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My experience was like yours - friends were kinda like family in teens/early 20s but family has been loyal over time and maybe some of that is my own loyalty and prioritizing family over friends as I've gotten older. I would love a group of close friends that lived closer to family but I've had a hard time getting that closeness as I've gotten older and most of my close friends live just as far if not farther than family.
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My best friend is my sister in every way, except genetics and what house we slept in. We both came from families of all boys. We've known each other my entire life (she's 3 years older than me). We talk far more frequently than either of us talk to our brothers, and we sometimes even introduce each other as "my sister, _____." We've been through the good and the bad, the changes of life phases, and nothing has changed how close we are.
I think generally friendships don't rise to the level of family, but she's my exception that proves the rule.
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I'm lucky in that I'm part of a close group of 7 couples/families. 3 of the couples have kids, 1 has one on the way, and a few of us are trying. The other night I was at a friend's house and we were looking around her kitchen and helping with her kids as if we were all family
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For me I don't think that will ever happen. We don't have a group of super close friends (although we did have a couple of friends over for Canadian Thanksgiving this year).
I'm just excited for the day we will finally add a little one to our own little family.
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I am an only child, so is my mom, and we're not close with my dad's family. I honestly feel like people have to prove themselves to be worthy of the title of "family", and just because you might be blood related doesn't really hold water with me unless you step up... so I definitely consider friends to be family, and as my friends begin having kids, I really do consider them my nieces and nephews.
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@mrbee: I agree with you. In my 20s, my friends were pretty much my family, but it's definitely changed now that we're older and some of us are married, have kids, etc.
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@tororojo: Two of the Friends couples got married though. So they became family!
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Agreed.. I used to think that some of my best friends were like family but as we've gotten older and gone our own ways they are no longer around an don't care to keep up with my life and try to stay in touch.
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My best friend and I are as close as sisters. I fully consider her family and her family considers me family as well.
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@zippylef: Are you guys in 20s or 30s+?
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In college I think it felt like my friends wee my family because we were always in such close proximity to each other. Now we've got 2 couples/families that I consider to be as close as my biological family. One couple lives 2 hrs away & we make it a priority to see each other often. When I gave birth a few weeks ago, they dropped everything & drove down right away to spend the weekend helping out - just like family. The other couple lives a state away, but we talk regularly & make plans to see each other during the holidays or on vacation - just like we do with our families living out of state.
I think it really depends on how much of a bond you form with friends. We work hard to have these people our lives; much harder than with our "real" families. It's easier to take my biological family for granted because I know they'll always be there for me.
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In my 30s now (eek!) and though I think a couple of my friends know me better than some of my family, I'd have to answer No. Everyone priorities their own families over friends. It'd be nice to think so, or even better to have it so, but (at least in my case) you know YOUR family is really the ones that will have your back whenever you need it.
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I used to think so. I have some close friends that I consider family. But now that I'm in my 30s and have had a break-up with a friend who I *thought* was like family (we knew each other since we were 14) I realized that it's not always true that friends can be family...especially if both people don't feel that way. It was kind of shocking to me that my friend dumped me because I thought we would just work things out because we were family...but we were and are not family.
Oh well!
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@mrbee: We are 25. We've been best friends since we were 13. I'm married with a baby, she is in a serious relationship and living with her SO. We live on separate continents now (and have for the past year and a half. I haven't seen her in a year) and I still feel like she's family.
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@zippylef: ah ok. I hope you have better luck than me!
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I have 3 childhood best friends that are like family to me... in that we know each others' positives and negatives and STILL love each other
Also, we can not talk for a long time then still get back together as if no time at all has gone by. Our comfort level around each other is like family. BUT I think this is only present because of the history (you can't fight 30 years of friendship!).
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Maybe not QUITE as close as family, but pretty close. I definitely see my friends more often than I see my family, and I view my best friend's daughter like my niece - I'm actually closer to her than I am with my actual niece and nephew. We don't spend the actual holidays together, but we always get together AROUND the holidays for a dinner and gift exchange and stuff like that.
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Yup! I have a friend with whom I share everything with and vice versa. We live in different states, but not a day goes by that we don't text and/or email each other to fill each other in. When I m/c, she was the only person I told other than our parents.
We have another friend couple that we are pretty darn close to, and the girl's mom treats me and the hubby like family! She cooks us meals or saves us food when she knows we'll be showing up late bc of work, etc. She even calls us her son and daughter!
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My husband's best friend is like a brother to him. They are both almost 40. They are like teenage girls with how much they talk on the phone.
They've been friends since high school.
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I think so. DH and I are Military, and most Military people are not lucky enough to be by family, so your friends become your family. The ones who you spend the Hoidays with or Birthday etc...
I think its more common in the Military lifestyle...they become your "Navy family" or Army/AF/MC etc.. -
depends on the friends...
my BFF and I have been through thick and thin and have definitely fought like sisters. We've almost lost our friendship several times, but always come back to each other. So we treat each other like family. She stays at my house all the time; I have to "approve" her boyfriends, we've done Christmas baking/gift parties together, I was an honorary member of her family in all of high school (and basically still am - if I ever need ANYTHING her family would be there for me), she's the friend I could call in the middle of the night and know she'd be there for me.
I have other friends that "adopted" me into their family when I was living alone in NY. I lived with one of my friends for a month while I was between housing and grew very close to their family. Their mom considers me a third daughter and I am really close to the girls.
It doesn't happen often but I love the idea of adopting friends as family. If we weren't near family I am positive I would do this more.
Also, we can not talk for a long time then still get back together as if no time at all has gone by. Our comfort level around each other is like family. BUT I think this is only present because of the history (you can't fight 30 years of friendship!).
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