So, this is kind of a weird question for a parenting forum but I know a lot of you guys WOH so hoping you’ll humor me

I’m financial reporting supervisor at a large national company. We are in the midst of our budget season right now and are working with our executive team to coordinate budget cuts - which entails lots of emails, and deadlines, and meetings, etc.

One of the people we need to collect this information from is our VP of IT. My boss asked me to prioritize getting this info and said we need it by mid month at the latest.. He sent an email himself to the VP and said essentially we need you to get back to us with this quickly and if you do not we will cut your funding - which is honestly a more aggressive tone than I was planning to take myself. That said, I reiterated the message in the weeks leading up to the deadline and used the same or very similar language in my emails.

The deadline passed last Thursday. I sent an email on Friday saying “Hi VP, just a reminder that we need this info ASAP. When do you think you’ll have it?” I figured, the deadline has passed so obviously that timeframe didn’t work for him, the next appropriate thing to do would be to ask when he CAN get it to us.

Well, my boss chewed me out today for using the phrase “ASAP” and for asking when we’ll get the info. Said it was unprofessional and to be understanding that the VP is very busy and important.

I feel horrible and I’m embarrassed for saying something stupid. I truly didn’t mean anything snarky or bitchy and really just meant to convey “hey, we haven’t heard back from you yet and we need this info fast, when can we expect it?” I don’t think the VP cared at all, this seems to be just my boss’ personal take.

What do you ladies think - is “ASAP” rude or unprofessional in a work setting? I’m a little annoyed because he was using similar language in his emails. The fact that it’s fine for him but not me makes me wonder if it’s kind of an old school /sexist mentality about how women should speak? Sorry for the rambling post.