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Since you have a special circumstance that i am assuming your families are aware of, i think it would be okay to send out an email or talk with them personally about specific things that are against your beliefs that they may not think of.

We do an amazon wish list just so they can get an idea of what is age appropriate for lo, plus that way they know it is something he/we will like. But i have been very clear that it is just an idea list, and that we dont expect them to just pick certain items. They have really appreciated it...and we end up getting things that are similar to what we would buy for him.

I always wait until I'm asked. I don't ever like to make assumptions. Personally, I would wait until someone asked me what she wanted to give any guidelines. But, they're your parents. If you don't think they'd be put off or offended, then go ahead!

It sounds like your family is already aware of your lifestyle, but still disregards it? (I"m assuming they already know you're vegan and what that means). I personally would probably not say anything until asked, and I know my family always asks what LO needs for the holidays.

Our families always ask for lists or ideas. They are after me for the lists now and have been for months. I wouldn't be offended to receive a list of ideas. They will probably be relieved to receive a list so there is no question as to age/lifestyle appropriate.

We don't have any restrictions, but if we did, I would absolutely have a discussion with the grandparents. I know if I told my mom that we were vegan, she'd have no idea that it meant we didn't wear leather shoes, and she'd feel awful if she bought some for my son and he couldn't wear them.

I personally wouldn't send a group email, or an email at all, I think it's best to have a discussion with each set of grandparents, and if they need a suggestion, refer them to your wishlist.

I would not send any lists or suggestions until asked.

Uh, I still think your family has a hard time grasping what vegan is beyond what you eat. Since they all live out of town and will be mailing gifts I think an Amazon wish list is appropriate, when they ask what she needs send that list. Skip the explanation.

You mean you don't like the book that has the rodeo in it that I got you the day Al was born?

@Vegmama: What book did your LO get? Dragons Eat Tacos?

I think you could probably have a very frank discussion with your parents about it. I wouldn't have any qualms about telling my mother "Please don't buy us X for Christmas". It may take more than one discussion, though--my mother was pretty hard up to expand my "crystal collection" for a few years, but really, all it means is that I have a collection of junk, and it took some time for her to understand. If she continues to buy me crystal (i think last year I got a lead water carafe....), it just goes to the basement. Sorry, I'm not keeping frangible crystal around my toddler.

DH could easily have this discussion with his mother: "Please don't get E XYZ for Christmas".

Other than that, i wouldn't say anything. I'm sure people will ask what to get you and your LO for Christmas and you can throw it in there.

@Vegmama: I just don't think it's very polite to email all the grandparents and remind them of what your rules are. If someone asks, then yes you can tell them your preferences. I understand you don't want people to support the leather industry by buying shoes, but in the case of books about zoos or tacos, you can just donate them.

@Vegmama: I think there is a difference between a group email with a monthly update and a gift suggestion/guideline email, I would personally be fine with email for the first, but not the second. I think in some instances, a conversation is better, but that's just my traditional self speaking.

Wishlists are super easy to create, there are a lot of different options now, where you can pull things together across companies.

If someone asks me what Liam wants, I will send them a link to his amazon wish list. In your case, I would share your preferences with close family members and let them pass on the info to extended family. If you get something you don't want to use, you can return it or pass it on to someone else.

I wouldn't send a list or make any suggestions until asked.

@Vegmama: My family is capable of ordering online, but they don't usually. My MIL I think does, but my mom doesn't. She just looks in stores for things that look similar to the things on our wish list. And my DH's grandmother likes to pick out gifts at the toy store too, so my MIL takes her shopping and helps her pick something out.

@Vegmama: This seems like an overreaction to me.

To answer your original question, I'd just wait until asked for suggestions.

I wouldn't send out a list of suggestions as that would turn me off and my parents too. Wait until someone asks for suggestions and if you feel the need to explain why certain specific items are on your wish list do so. Otherwise, inspect the surprise gift before you give it to your LO. If something doesn't make the cut just give it away.