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Cut out of the picture

By Skadi Nov 6, 2014

I stopped by FILs office the other day, and I noticed there was a picture of my LO on his desk that he has presumably been showing off to people.

That's great, except that I recognize the picture in question and it has obviously been cut with a pair of kitchen scissors so that I am no longer in it (it's now just LO, whom I was holding).

DH thinks I'm being overly sensitive. But I'm really upset. I feel hurt and angry. Should I say something? If so, what? Or do you think it's naturals he'd want to just show off his grandbaby by herself and I shouldn't feel offended?

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18 comments

LBee
pomegranate / 3895 posts

Nov 6, 2014

I don't know. I think that sounds really weird, but I suppose I see your DH's point.

My level of offense would depend on my relationship with FIL. If it was strained or negative, I would obviously take it more personally.
sorrycharlie
hostess / watermelon / 14932 posts

Nov 6, 2014

ehhh I can sorta see being hurt depending on my mood, but I also would probably feel weird if FIL had me on his desk, lol. It wouldn't bother me.
mrsrain
nectarine / 2115 posts

Nov 6, 2014

Maybe he just cut it to fit in the frame better?
looch
wonderful pear / 26210 posts

Nov 6, 2014

How is your relationship? I admit, it kind of sounds like your relationship isn't the best if he cut you out of the picture...I dunno, maybe I am reading too much into it.
Mrs. Blue
blogger / pomelo / 5361 posts

Nov 6, 2014

I don't really think that's a big deal. I think it would be more odd to have a picture of his DIL and granddaughter on his desk without your DH in it. That would lead to people who don't know him well wondering if you're his wife and daughter or child and granddaughter or what. Now, if it were a picture of you, DH, and LO and he cut you out but left the other two, that would offend me.
Skadi
apricot / 456 posts

Nov 6, 2014

@mrsrain: It isn't in a frame.
mauxie
persimmon / 1043 posts

Nov 6, 2014

If he wants a photo of LO by himself, why can't he just ask for a solo photo?? Or a photo of the three of you.

I would feel weird if FIL had a photo of just me and LO on his desk. Our relationship is awkward haha.

But I do see how cutting you out of the pic could be hurtful. Maybe your DH can stop by and just jest saying hey how could you cut out my wife?! Here take this pic instead...
Bao
GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22276 posts

Nov 6, 2014

I think it would be more weird if there were a picture of me on my FIL's desk...I would probably think it was weird overall but wouldn't be upset.
3littlebees
cherry / 142 posts

Nov 6, 2014

I understand feeling hurt by being cut out of a picture, but it would be really weird if my FIL had a picture of me on his desk at work. Maybe you can give him another picture of your LO? One where she was by herself and no one had to be cut out?

ETA: At least you weren't cut out of a picture that your in-laws have at home. That would be unforgivable.
Rockies11
persimmon / 1363 posts

Nov 6, 2014

yeah, I think he could think it's creepy to have a pic of his DIL and grandbaby. I would be offended if he cut me out of a family pic, but I think I would be more weirded out if FIL had a pic of just me and LO on his desk.
Skadi
apricot / 456 posts

Nov 6, 2014

@looch: It's okay, I guess. Kind of strained. I've had to fight tooth and nail to become accepted as part of the family--FIL and MIL tried talking DH put of marrying me on my wedding day right in front of me and my horrified parents to give you an idea of past struggles. We aren't antagonistic or anything...things have improved...I just still feel like an outsider and this raised my hackles.
Adira
wonderful pomelo / 30692 posts

Nov 6, 2014

@Mrs. Blue: I agree.

I think it would be weirder if he had a picture of just you and LO and your DH wasn't in the picture OR he cut you out of a picture of the three of you. My guess is it's a cute picture of your LO and he wanted to use it to show your LO off! It's probably more he cut out a picture of your LO to use rather than cutting YOU out of the picture, if that makes sense.
blackbird
wonderful grape / 20453 posts

Nov 6, 2014

Sounds like you're just not his #1 favorite person and he doesn't want to look at your photo all day? I don't have photos of anyone other than DH and E at my desk! I probably wouldn't want to stare at my MIL......
Mrs.KMM
grapefruit / 4355 posts

Nov 6, 2014

He probably thought it would be a little odd to have a picture of his DIL on his desk that didn't include his own son. I wouldn't read too much into it.
Skadi
apricot / 456 posts

Nov 6, 2014

Thanks for the input, guys. This makes me feel a lot better. I know I wouldn't want a picture of my fil on my desk either...then again, I think the appropriate thing would have been for him to find one of the many pictures of LO by herself. But as some of you have said, it was probably an act of cutting LO "in" rather than me out.
Adira
wonderful pomelo / 30692 posts

Nov 6, 2014

@Skadi: I do agree that it seems like it would've just been easier to find a picture that was just of LO, but maybe that particular one was too cute for him to resist??
mrs. tictactoe
blogger / pomegranate / 3201 posts

Nov 6, 2014

I would be hurt, but I probably would just keep it to myself and my husband and let it go. I'm sorry
blackbird
wonderful grape / 20453 posts

Nov 6, 2014

@Skadi: It would have, but that would require he put some work into that and uh....most guys won't do that

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