Is anyone planning on having labor/delivery room guests outside of their partner for the actual birth? I am toying with having my parents and my in-laws present and am wondering how strange this is?
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My parents, sister, and SIL were in the room while I was in labor. I had an epidural though and was pretty much just lying there. They'd leave the room when the nurse would check me.
When it came time to push my mom and sister, and DH, stayed. I thought I wouldnt want anyone but I really didn't mind.
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Have you talked to your dr/hospital about your desire to have extra people in the room? A lot of hospitals have restrictions on the number of ppl you can have in the room at the same time during delivery. Other places are happy to have whole families there
the hospital my dr delivers at has a 2 support person max. Not pregnant yet, but my mom will be welcome (she works in maternity, so she'll be an amazing mama support!), and obviously DH, but not my dad or in laws. ILs stress me out. I don't think my dad would want to be there & I don't think DH or I would be comfortable with that.
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Thank you for helping me think this through :). I guess it is hard to judge how I am going to feel at that exact moment--and like you said beachmama, I can see me surprising myself with what feels comfortable vs. what I have envisioned myself to feel.
Yes, the hospital is one of those whole families are welcome places. We are super close with our parents, and the 4 of them are very close too. My in-laws are both in medicine, so I feel like the support they could offer would be beyond the emotional.
I guess I have some romantic notion of the older generation witnessing the new generation's arrival--it just seems like it could be a really magical moment. But then on the other hand, I think about the logistics of birthing a baby and am like wait, my DAD, and my FIL, in the actual ROOM?!?! That is where my head is at, currently, lol.
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It was just me and DH present for the birth (I ended up with a c-section, however this was my intention for a vaginal birth as well). I am so glad we kept the early moments of our baby's life just between us (and the medical professionals of course). We actually didn't have any visitors for the first 12 hours, and it was awesome to have that time to ourselves.
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For me it was important just to have DH. I didn't even let anyone else in until over an hour after my LO was born because I wanted it to be just our little family so we could have our chance to bond without all of the chaos. I'm so glad that I did that because it was just that when everyone came, chaos. Everyone wanted to hold her, see her, spend time with her, and of course I wanted her to meet her new family. But I wanted to have her to myself first, and I wanted DH to have her too.
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I only want me and my DH there, I made this pretty clear to everyone I think. I feel like its an intimate moment between DH and I, and I don't want anyone hogging my baby right away
so maybe its a selfish thing!
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I had my mom in the room! Loved having her there.
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@peacockblue: I plan to have DH, my sister, DD (she is 15), and my MIL in the room. If we need MIL to watch DS then it will just be DH and my sister in the room. I'm pretty open about the whole birthing process and I don't feel self concious or weird about anyone seeing it happen. Although DH has informed me he does not want residents or students in the delivery room. I was really surprised that he cared. I personally don't mind having them watch so they can learn.
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I just had my DH in the room with me during labor and delivery and I would have gone absolutely nuts having anyone else in the room with us.
It was such a special moment when my DD came and the three of us could spend some time together, bonding and soaking it all in. Having other people present really would have ruined that for me. You are brave for considering having in the in-laws! -
OP, are you concerned at all about your in-laws wanting to interfere with your care? They are medical professionals- I don't know, for me, it seems like it could be a good thing (ie, they would know what questions to ask about your care) or a possible negative (ie, they butt in and try to boss around your nurses or doctors with a "but we know best" type of attitude). You know them best though, so it's up to you.
Personally, it will just be me and DH at the birth of our baby and for the next few hours after. We want time to bond with our son, and since the first thing they do is put the baby on mom for skin-to-skin contact so that baby can be warmed and then breast feed for the first time- well, that's the LAST thing I want my father in law to see! My MIL has also shown that she is probably going to be VERY possessive of our baby, so the more time she is away during his first hours out of the womb the better so that he can bond with who is important and not be ripped away for "Grandma" time. There will be plenty of time for Grandma and Grandpa to hold the baby later. -
No family was in the delivery room. My parents were at the hospital, though. They came in when I was transfered to recovery. I enjoyed it being just my husband and me. No one else needs to see me like that!!
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I am a very modest person. We don't even talk about periods in my family, so for me it would be too awkward! But if it works for you than do it! More power to you. I sometimes wonder if I will even let DH in... semi kidding lol.
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@pinkchampagne: that is a great question. That hasn't been my concern at all--my main concern is just if I am going to feel a bit too on display for the dads. I haven't really thought about the possible cons of my inlaws interacting with the medical professionals in charge of my care, which is a great point. I don't think they would be that way? That would really suck. But then again, I have never really been in a situation where they would be so involved with my health, so it is worth pondering for sure. I'll see what DH thinks.
I do see the importance of wanting time with just me and DH and our brand new LO--and had planned on having that time right after the birth and excusing the peanut gallery then!
Thanks for your help--given me a lot to think about!
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@Mrs.B: I had a student in the room during labor and delivery, I didn't mind but when a things got a little hectic, I thought to myself maybe this wasn't a good idea. I'll probably allow it again, because they have to learn somewhere- but like your DH I think my DH will tell them no way!
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I'm not pregnant yet, but I will only have DH in the delivery room with me. I would definitely not want my mom, I love her, but she doesn't always bring the best energy with her. Also I would not want my dad (obvious reasons) or inlaws. I plan on not telling everyone right away either, I'm very concerned for the chaos of everyone coming. We have a pretty big immediate family that would come. (my parents, brother and sister, Then DH's parents, his sister-husband and 3 children) so I think we will just hang out ourselves for a couple hours to tell you the truth
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Hubs and I want it to be just he and I. Our families live 1.5 hours away, so our plan is to let them know when we go in to the hospital, and then call again once we deliver, at which point they can come down. We don't want anyone coming down right when we go in because I don't want the stress of knowing they're sitting out in the waiting room. Plus, Hubs would feel obligated to keep going out to provide updates, and I want him with me. So it'll be just the three of us for the first 2 hours or so of Baby's life!
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@MrsBrewer: i feel you on the mom part...
i have always thought it would be DH, his mom, my mom and my sister...my sister is great in talking me throught things so she is a must...
DH has 5 sisters, whom i love dearly but sorry they will not be in the room when i will be flashing my va-jay-jay....
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I'm having my mom on backup in case DH gets queasy or needs a break (he has a weak stomach.) However, I would prefer it to be just him and I in there unless somethign goes wrong and we feel the need to have the support of our families, then our mom's would be allowed in. Just mom's, no dad's, that would be a little too much for me. And no sisters either, they cause me too much stress.
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You are a brave soul! I want no one in the delivery room at all besides DH. And if no one (besides our parents) wants to show up at the hospital afterwards, that is also totally 100% okay with me. I would rather everyone just meet the baby after me and my child are not patients in a hospital. That's probably unrealistic, but that's my ideal.
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@highwire: I completely agree with that!
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@highwire: no dude, that's totally realistic!!! I am taking myself off of the registry list so guests cant find me. Only my in-laws and parents will see me at the hospital. Everyone else can meet us at home (after i've showered and had a coffee)!
To the OP, I don't think anything "is weird" if that's how you want it then go for it! Just make sure your husband is OK with it...because grandparents like to hog baby and he might want to take that time to be 1-on-1 with you and baby.
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My hope is that both sets of parents will be at the hospital around the time of delivery, but we will not be inviting anyone to be present in the dlivery room. I don't know if it will work out timing-wise to have our families there during this time, but it is our hope that they can be present. I worry that it could get very boring if it's a long labor/delivery, but it would mean a lot to me knowing that they are there, just in case
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My mom, MIL, FIL, and possibly a SIL (also my BFF) will likely be at the hospital, and maybe take turns being in the room while I'm in labor. I'm really not sure if I'll want anyone but DH in the room with me at all at any time, and they all know that, although they all want to at least be at the hospital. None of them are pushy, though, so I'm not worried about them giving us space if/when we want it.
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I only wanted and only had DH.
the hospital my dr delivers at has a 2 support person max. 
so maybe its a selfish thing!
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