Did your husband/significant other/boyfriend/girlfriend/whoever (trying to cover it all!) come to any pregnancy appointments with you? If so, which ones? DH works an hour away and will want to attend the "important" ones. I just don't know which those would be!
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Yes, he has only missed 3 appointments for two pregnancies.
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DH goes to every single appointment with me. He missed one and that was my 12 week because it was a pap and I was soooo nervous they wouldn't hear a heartbeat at that appointment because I was alone. So he makes sure to attend them all for that reason.
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I didn't ask him to come to my first visit where I was just chatting with a nurse and getting blood work done. He is coming to my 8 week appointment where there will be an ultrasound. After that... I don't know! I guess we'll play it by ear and see if I want him there.
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He went to every single appointment with me.
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DH has come to some of them, especially when I'm anxious. He's only going to be able to come to a few of them, like our nuchal scan and 18 week scan. Other than that, probably not many.
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He went to all but one, which was in the middle of my 3-hr GD test. And he dropped me off and picked me up. He said it was important to him to be there. But he works afternoons-nights, so he didn't have to miss work for any of them.
ETA: As for important ones, I think the first U/S (which for us was the very first appointment, but only because of a previous m/c), NT scan, and anatomy scan are big ones. DH also loved being able to hear the heartbeat via doppler--that was at our 10-week appointment.
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@Mae: DH will come to the next one. They said it'll be an u/s to hear the heartbeat in another 2-3 weeks. But I don't think he'll come to all of the "basic" ones?
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DH comes to all of them, but he's able to get off without a big fuss. As I start to go more often he may hang back.
I kind of wish he didn't come to my first appointment! All I did was get checked and I made him step out during it! I didn't want him seeing me that way.I would say any ultrasounds he should go or if its an appointment where you plan to discuss important topics with your dr. The others are kinda just boring. Although we went in expecting a boring appointment and had a surprise ultrasound and found out we were having a boy!
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Most of my appointments so far have been during the afternoon when he's at work, but he'll probably come to any ultrasounds that are scheduled outside of his working hours.
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@LindsayInNY: I don't think there is a right or wrong way. I mean from what I was told I"ll have an appointment every month until 7 and then 2/month until the last month then 1/week. So that's like... 14+ appointments probably assuming that I don't have any NON routine appointments. I just don't know if I personally need him there, especially if my doctor is going to be asking me all kinds of super-hot questions about symptoms and my cervix or something lol. I don't even think I'm going to let him come back with me for the 8 week appointment until the u/s part and then I'll have a nurse grab him. I guess I'm sort of private about medical stuff and I'd rather fill him in on the highlights unless there is something fun to see/hear or if I feel particularly nervous or something.
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@Danizaur: That's what I was thinking... I don't know if it's different for ob or u/s appointments but I scheduled my annual exam for 6:15pm. If I can get late appointments, it might be a little easier for DH to make them.
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DH doesn't have a super flexible schedule but he also wanted to be there for the big ones. The appts that we made sure he would be able to come to were: First ultrasound/heartbeat, NT scan, anatomy scan. The others we tried to schedule when he could come but if he couldn't make it it wasn't a big deal.
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At the beginning when they were only once a month he came to them all. Then I started going biweekly and now weekly, and it's too much for him to come to every one with his job. He probably comes to every 2nd or 3rd apt now...he will come to next week's apt though because it will be our 40 week!
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@Running Elley: Good idea! That's probably what we'll have to do. I just didn't know what the "big ones" were!
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He only came for the big ones. It wouldn't have been impossible for him to come to all but it just wasn't really necessary. For us the big ones were the first one (at 8 weeks, asked tons of questions including medical history so helpful but not necessary for him to be there), 12 weeks- did the Nt scan u/s at that one so very important; 19 week ultrasound. I pretty much wanted him there for all ultrasounds and any where I was particularly afraid I would get news I wouldn't want to deal with alone.
The rest were so routine it wouldn't have made sense for him to rearrange his schedule.
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He's not going tomorrow, but he told me to schedule my appointments in the afternoon from now on as much as possible so that he can go.
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@LindsayInNY: I think it makes the most sense
My appts now are so boring that we don't even try to get him to come lol (weight check, blood pressure, heartbeat, any questions, etc). Sometimes there's an U/S at your first appt but sometimes they schedule it separately. I'd ask prior because if they won't be performing an U/S at the actual appt that one's pretty boring too (medical history, etc). -
DH comes to all of them with me, but only because I need his car to get to the appointments
we're lucky that he has a super flexible job -- he can pretty much come and go as he pleases, as long as he gets enough hours every week!he doesn't really like coming to the actual midwife check ups, all it is is me peeing on a stick, and the midwife feeling where the baby is and checking the heartbeat. he gets bored :-o
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I guess he could probably come to all of them but I only want him missing work for the important ones. The ones with ultrasounds. So he came to the one at 10.4 weeks and I'll go to the one at 15 weeks by myself and he will go to the last ultrasound at 20 weeks and hopefully be present for the birth.
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@Penny Lane: hahah I send my husband to pick himself up some lunch next door during those parts.
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He comes to all of mine...but he works 2 buildings away and has a very flexible job (Ph.D student). He has had lots of questions too, so it's been kinda nice for him to be able to ask whenever there is an appointment.
But since your DH doesn't have as much flexibility I would say definitely ones with ultrasounds. It may be nice to have him at your first appointment just so that when they ask family history questions he can answer them for his side. The nurse directed several questions to DH...but I know my hospital really encourages partners (and other children) to come to appointments, so I'm not sure if this is something every nurse/office would do?
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DH came to my appointment yesterday because it was our first ultrasound but he didn't come to the first appointment--it was just blood work and chatting with the doctor anyway.
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My husband came to our first prenatal appointment, as well as the 20-week anatomy scan--both of those are not to be missed!
All of my regular appointments are very quick (15 minutes max) so even if he could attend those, there wouldn't be any point.
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He came to my first midwife appt, and both ultrasounds. I don't think he can come to the anatomy scan though
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It's a pain for DH to come to mine, so he only comes when there's an ultrasound, pretty much. (and he missed the first one, I think)
This time, I think he came to my CVS appointment at 11 weeks, he came to the anatomy scan at 20 weeks, and he's coming to the 36 week ultrasound/visit. So just three appointments for this baby. With DS (now age 2.5) I think he came to a few more: probably the very first appointment at ~6 weeks (they saw me early due to a previous loss), the NT scan, my amnio at 16 weeks, the 20 week scan, and the third trimester ~36 week scan/visit.
Most of my visits are super boring and take 10 minutes- I pee in a cup, they measure my weight and BP, and the doc asks if I have any questions or concerns. In and out. -
I just have him to come to the u/s appts because the others aren't much other then she listens on the Doppler and ask if there's any questions but then today she couldn't find the HB right away and was very booked so she did an u/s which I was like oh man DH not here to see the baby. He like to see how much it grows
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Yup. He came to all of DD's and when I suggested he only come to the ultrasounds for this pregnancy he got so angry! He said every appointment is important. I think it's silly and sweet
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DH comes to the *important* ones... 1st ultrasound, NT scan, and anatomy scan so far. The monthly ob appts he's skipped bc there isn't much to them (besides hearing the heartbeat on doppler, which I love!)
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He came to all the first tri appts and the ultrasounds. He doesn't come to the Ob appts unless it's something other than bp and weight check. Most of my appts are 15 min and it's simply not worth coming (he would if it was worth it). My doc tells me when I schedule each appt what to expect so I know whether to work around his schedule. I'm guessing he'll start coming more when I'm getting closer to the end.
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He just came to ones were I had an ultrasound.
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@luckypenny: DH gets just as excited for the doctor as I do! He wants to go to every one. I know when they turn biweekly and weekly he won't be able to make it and will be disappointed.
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My DH has only missed one, when he was out of town. He was upset because I scheduled it then even though they said I could wait until the following week, but it was just a regular how's it going-weight and blood pressure check-see you in 4 weeks appointment so I didn't think it was worth rescheduling. We can schedule appointments around his job, though, so he doesn't take off work to come with me.
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He comes to every appointment that he's in town for. He only missed 3-4 because of travel.
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@LindsayInNY: I don't remember my monthly visits being super important. My husband came to every RE appointment and our first OB appointment when we were released. After that, my appointments were the standard blood pressure/urine/weight/heartbeat check.
He did come to all of my ultrasounds but one (I had a lot!) and to any emergency appointment I had.
I don't think there is a right or wrong way! Just whatever works for you guys.
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@LindsayInNY: DH went to almost all with my first pregnancy. My guess is he will only go to my first appt when I'm pregnant with #2.
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Here and there when he was off and to all ultrasound appointments, but most of the others weren't worth missing work/income over.
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my first pregnancy he came to every single appointment. And that's alot, since I went every 2 weeks until 34 weeks, when I started going once a week!
this pregnancy he has only come to the ultrasound appointments.
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Someone has come with me to each appointment, whether it was DH, BFF, my mom, or sister. The one appointment I went to the first pregnancy by myself ended in bad news, so I don't go by myself.
Eta: DH missed because he was out of town for work.
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He came to the first appt., and then all the ultrasounds. The other appts are pretty repetitive, and last like 15 minutes. Wasn't worth arranging his schedule for.
My appts now are so boring that we don't even try to get him to come lol (weight check, blood pressure, heartbeat, any questions, etc). Sometimes there's an U/S at your first appt but sometimes they schedule it separately. I'd ask prior because if they won't be performing an U/S at the actual appt that one's pretty boring too (medical history, etc). 
we're lucky that he has a super flexible job -- he can pretty much come and go as he pleases, as long as he gets enough hours every week!
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