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I loved my daughter the minute I saw her but it took weeks/months for me to really feel connected to her. It was because the first few months were just really hard for me and I was having a lot of low moments. But luckily, it all went away and everything is so wonderful now.

Yes I think I did...as much as you can to a baby that you have not met at least. We decided on a name right away, I talked to her every day, played music to her ... so I just treated her like she was already here. I think that all helped me feel connected.

This is probably a silly question - maybe it should be a spinoff? But when did you guys feel connected, if at all? I know I'm only just shy of 12 weeks, but I'm not feeling like there's even a baby in there! (Aside from the nausea, and of course, the ultrasound). Does it get better when they start moving/you start growing?

I know that we will be bringing a baby home in September (hopefully!) but still haven't connected the dots in between, if that makes sense.

I definitely feel really connected to my LO.

It is a weird feeling though, because I know he/she is only really "real" to me if that makes sense, because I am the only one that is in constant contact with him/her. I know people are excited for the arrival, but I think that feeling our LO move, talking to him/her throughout the day, etc makes it way different for me than for other people.

I really felt connected starting at our 11 week ultrasound, because there baby was, kicking and bouncing up a storm in my belly. I was addicted to remembering the ultrasound/looking at pics, until baby started moving a lot at 16 weeks. I had a pervious ultrasound at 6w7d, but although the heart was beating, there was no movement or anything else really to see, so it didn't really click for me then.

Now that I am 32 weeks, I sometimes feel lonely when I haven't felt LO move in a while, so I will give him/her a nudge to get them going (LOL). It is a good thing that I have a really active baby, so not feeling movement is rare (because DH hates it when I bug the baby LOL).

I never cried when I saw her on the ultrasound. Before we went to the hospital to deliver I kinda had a feeling of really? is this what I want? (like I could change my mind then, and I've wanted to be a mommy for a long time but it didn't stop doubts from arising).

But when I saw your question I thought yes, I bonded with her. We played games while she was in my belly. Games with her kicking that she played after she was born too and she made me laugh with her antics in my belly. Even after she was born though I think it took about 24 hours for me to go from - cool baby to wow, this is my daughter.

Try not to think of your feelings as abnormal, adjusting to mommyhood is a different process for everyone.

I don’t really feel that connected to her yet. I don’t think of a fetus as being the same as a baby, especially early on, and this was no different for my own fetus. I knew she was alive in there, but honestly, I didn’t feel like I really “loved” her, or felt any sort of connection. She was just “there”. It’s neat to see her move around at ultrasounds, but I’ve never cried at an ultrasound.

Now she moves around tons which is nice. Sometimes if she goes hours without moving I will poke myself where she usually kicks to see if she will respond and I really like feeling her popping around in there, but I dunno…..I still wouldn’t say I feel that connected. I feel more like an incubator, to be honest!

I like to feel her and talk to her and stuff - maybe I'm just not a very emotional person.

I'm still in my last weeks of pregnancy, so I can't comment yet on how my experience during pregnancy will compare with after the baby is born. But... I can say that I do finally feel connected with my baby. It happened gradually though. Being able to really feel her move around a lot helped to cement our connection I think. These days I can usually feel her anatomy. I can feel her back and her butt lying usually along my right side, and I can feel her little feet and hands when they poke me in the left side. Actually feeling her outline and her different body parts makes her so much more real to me. At this point I can't wait to actually meet her, since I really can tell that there's an entire person in my belly. I also talk to her when she's poking me, and sometimes I walk around and try to rock my belly when she's being so active that it's painful. So, yes, I do finally feel very connected to the baby at this late stage of my pregnancy.

I cried when I saw my baby on the ultrasound and it was moving it's arms and legs and I saw the heartbeat. But I don't really feel the connection yet, I'm hoping once I can feel it move and know the gender that will come.

I think I'm in the minority here. I didn't really connected to her until a few weeks after she was born. Sure it was cool to feel her moving in the womb, but that mother-daughter bond wasn't there until I could interact with her.

When I was pregnant, I would have said I was connected, but it wasn't until she was born that I really understood that she had a very distinct personality in utero that was consistent even after she was born!

I didn't really feel connected until I felt him move. Before then, I wasn't even always sure he was in there! I just saw my stomach get bigger but that was it. I think you should give it a little more time. Maybe once you feel the baby kicking and hiccuping, you might feel more connected?

I just wanted to say thank you for writing this post. I'm only 10 weeks along but I've been feeling the same way. I haven't told anyone because I didn't want to sound like a "bad mom to be". Its like Sorrycharlie said, you don't even feel like there is a baby aside from the symptoms. I'm hoping I'll feel more connected when I get my first ultrasound and when I can start to feel the baby move.
One thing I've been doing to try to help me connect is to write in a journal. Each entry I end by saying "love mom" or something like that. I've been writing about how I've been feeling emotionally and physically, how our families have reacted to the news of baby, possible names for baby, ect.
I hope to show the journal to LO when he/she is older or maybe when they become parents.

Sorry, completely off topic. Did anyone else think this thread was about 'connecting with your unicorn baby'? Haha. Sorry. I'm weird.

@bluestriped bee: lol!

@lemondrop: it definitely took me by surprise. The decision to TTC was totally logical and not emotional at all both times, so I wasn't expecting this kind of excitement and emotional connection this time around either. It could be that we found out the gender this time, or that I know more what to expect, but it's definitely so different.

I didn't cry or anything at ultrasounds but I did feel a deep connection quite early. By 8 weeks I felt it. I can't explain it very well but by that stage I had deeply bonded with LO.

i don't feel 100% connected to either of my babies. i think maybe it was because this pregnancy was pretty uncomfy. i don't know. i really hope it clicks when i see them.

@mrs. wagon: Glad to hear that it can be different the next time around. I definitely love being a mom, and look forward to going through it again... well parts of it

@tequiero21: my SIL had a hard time bonding with her twins, she was very high risk though and had some problems during the pregnancy, but once they were out as crazy as they can be sometimes, she totally bonded with them.

It is nice to hear from other moms that they didn't automatically bond with their babies, definitely makes me feel more normal- it worried me in the beginning!