Hellobee Boards

@MarieJ: YES! I am colossally disappointed with my ILs, and my relationship with them--especially my MIL--has been irreparably damaged. At this point, I am just hoping DH will be able to at least partially salvage his relationship with her.

@MamaMoose: I borrowed that term from one of my favorite bloggers, Amalah, because it is just soooo fitting with regard to *suggestions/direction* on pregnancy/child care.

My MIL has been a problem since DH and I were dating. During our wedding, she stayed out of it, but still managed to make things difficult. With LO and pregnancy, she let loose during her second visit during my maternity leave when she called me "an immature bitch." All of the problems that existed before LO all came to a head that week. DH and I have been in marriage counseling since the incident. We're going to visit them soon. I'm not thrilled about the trip, just want it over with, etc.

My relationship with her definitely worsened since LO. It's hard because DH was put in the middle of it and said something's no husband should say to his wife when his mom was making our lives hell. She's clueless about childcare, so I don't hear comments about that. Instead, I hear about "why do you hate me so much" in her need for drama tone. She loves, loves drama which my DH hates (wonder why!?!), so it's best not to cause any. Ugh, yeah, relationship with her is in a bad place, but she did a lot of it on the visit, not me.

Didn't like her before and don't like her now.
FIL is fine but hasn't really done anything nice for the baby. Left town for the winter just before she was born. Hasn't met her yet, hasn't sent a card.

Ugh, I am so there with the rest of you. I loved my MIL until I got pregnant, and I knew things were going to start going downhill when she announced my pregnancy for us on Facebook without consulting us. She posted a pic of DH and I and captioned it "The expectant parents to be!" and tagged us. I was only about 9 weeks along!

Our LO won't even be here til June, but she's constantly making "my baby" comments as in "You're using cloth diapers? Those will give my baby rashes!" She criticizes every decision I make from the hospital I chose to the fact that we're letting the baby sleep in the room with us. She takes it all as a personal attack since its different than what she did, but claims she's just trying to be "helpful". Her latest antic? She emailed a guest list to my shower hostesses for MY baby shower, full of people I'd never met! She titled the email "guest list for my shower for my grandchild". DH is an only child and his parents are nearly 70 so I try to cut them some slack but its hard. Last time we were over there I said I was really tired and went and took a nap on the couch to completely avoid them.

My friends joke around and say she's reduced me to being merely the surrogate of the Messiah Grandson.

I feel similar to @jennylynn. My MIL is still pretty much the same person - and our previous relationship was definitely good - but I am annoyed by her so much more now!

Thankfully, she doesn't give me too much assvice (love that!), but it's like DH & I don't exist anymore now that LO is here. It's always about her: "Thanks for taking care of my grandson." "Can we Skype - I haven't seen my grandson." "Why can't I post pictures on Facebook!? I want to show off my grandson!"

And the way she interacts with our boy? Drives me crazy! She treats him like a zoo animal - bopping around, talking a million miles an hour, calling his name over and over, commanding him to look at her through the Skype screen. I've had to stop being in the room for Skype sessions.

Thankfully, DH is great. He takes the hardest line on the internet sharing stuff and will even call her out once in a while. "Mom, I wouldn't look at you either if you were shouting the word 'buddy' at me over and over again. He's an actual person, not a toy." Love my DH!

I have never been too fond of my MIL, and I feared the worst when LO was born. In the beginning it was very irritating. Advice is often outdated, and times have changed (but obviously our parents have not). I had to just nod my head and take the criticism. It does get better. As your baby grows into a toddler, there is less to criticize. Your in-laws start to recognize you as good parents instead of crazy people who have no idea how to raise a child. Hopefully your MIL will get better as your baby grows up.

NO. I used to find her annoying. Now I find her downright infuriating. Our first weekend home from the hospital, she wanted to come visit. I want feeling well, and actually thought I'd opened up one of my stitches down there, so I was supposed to be taking it easy. I had told Hubs that when she called to confirm the plans he should say it's not a good time for me and we'd have to reschedule. Instead, she called Saturday morning, from the road (they live 1.5 hours away) saying they were on their way (she and my BIL), and theywere bringing our niece, who just got tested for MONO! I was furious. When they showed up, I of course wouldn't let our niece holds the baby, and MIL made a snide comment. When she asked how I was feeling,I said not great and told her the doctor said I need to take it easy this weekend. she said, "oh you over did it, didn't you? You need to take care of yourself!" I wanted to scream, "Then GET OUT!" Then, this past weekend we were home. I was at my mom's house getting things ready for my sister's baby shower. I was nursing D and she called and left s message that she was in the area and calling to see if I was home so she could stop by. I didn't call her back because D finished nursing so I took him up to lay him down. Right after I got him down, wouldn't you know...knock knock knock... I told Hubs about it later and said, "THAT is why we're not moving back home."

I was never really a fan of her, and now I'm even less of a fan. She drives me INSANE! I won't even get started.

She has actually been super good about honoring our wishes when it comes to LO even though they aren't always her idea of the perfect choice. The hardest time we have is that she constantly wants to give LO dessert and sweets, and we're 'meanies' (lol!) and she doesn't get sugar yet. I can understand a Grandma wanting to give their grandbaby treats, so we just tell her "have hummus in the fridge, you'll make her day".

@MarieJ: Hey check out your wall... I left you a message : )

My relationship definitely changed, but it's kind of my issue - not her fault at all.

I LOVED my in-laws (still do, I guess), before I was pregnant. After I got pregnant, I got really resentful of them. DH's parents live 2 miles away from us, my parents live 1,500 miles away from us. All of a sudden I got really upset that his parents were going to get to be a part of LO's life, and not my parents.

I had hoped it was just because of crazy pregnancy hormones, but nope, I still feel that way. Any comment MIL makes about LO upsets me, no matter what it is. If my mom said the exact same thing, I know it wouldn't bug me one bit.
I wish I didn't feel like this though.

@mewtill: I hate when DH Skype calls with his parents and our LO. Her voice grates on my last nerve. I'm there in the room so she can't get away saying anything bad and so I know what she's been saying to my LO. She baby talks to him with every phone call. I swear I see my LO's eye go "really?" I hope that his language development isn't halted when we spend time there soon.

@cascademom: I don't know how I'll ever be able to spend an extended vacation time with my MIL. My parents also went a little overboard (advice, babytalk, etc) but I just told them why I didn't like it. They actually listen, so they try not to. We tell MIL over and over and she just doesn't get it.

I'm planning LOs first plane ride over the summer to visit my parents. I told DH that if LO doesn't like the plane or if it's too stressful for me, I won't be taking him to visit his parents. They'll just have to suck it up.

I actually love my MIL. She has really been there for us since LO was born, especially since we don't live close to my family. Sure, sometimes her advice is dated, but she doesn't push it on me. And I actually appreciate the advice sometimes... people have been having babies since long before new discoveries, so I figure there might be something to some of the dated advice too...

@swurlygurl: I felt the same for a little while but my family has made a huge effort to visit and be a part of LO's life, and we have made an effort to visit them, send pics, etc. I know it makes them sad that we don't live closer too..