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That's awful. My MIL and I's relationship has actually IMPROVED since LO arrived, because she is respectful of us as parents... you are in a tough spot. If I were you I would have DH talk to her and tell her to back off!

I adored my MIL before I got pregnant. I mean, she can be a little needy and I had to actively "manage" her during the wedding planning process to make sure she felt like she was "involved" but that was easy enough....

But recently - oh Lordy. Today's little gem was when we called her to tell her that the baby is a girl, she started reeling off a list of names she had been compiling! DH mentioned a name we had considered and she said "Oh no, you can't call her that! I don't like [shortened version] either!". Erm, it's not your choice, lady! Then she asked DH what other names we had been considering and I (loudly, so she could hear) told him we were not sharing with her until after the baby is born and the name is decided because she's not getting a say so why let her express an opinion?

Urgh. As Anonysquire would say, when you get pregnant then you can name your own baby!

@MarieJ: ah I see. Wasn't sure if you had said anything yet. You could try faking it (lying) but that could make things bad if she babysits ever...

@Mummystar: What happened with the breastfeeding blackmail thing??? That sounds intense!!

My MIL has already said that she worries that I'm "over-thinking the breastfeeding thing" and that I don't need to do it after the first couple of weeks. I think she's worried that she isn't going to be able to feed the baby or take the baby away to spend time alone - which she isn't!! Now that's a reason to breastfeed for an extended amount of time!! Lol!

I’ve always liked my MIL and she is very hands-off with her daughter’s two kids so she will likely be the same with us. She’s about as unobtrusive as they come, except she insists on being in the waiting room when I am in labor. Which is fine, as long as she doesn’t come in! She’s really pretty darn hands-off (to the point that DH and I will have to make it a point to include her…she just doesn’t want to meddle, but I imagine her feelings would be hurt if we didn’t ask her to babysit, versus us waiting for her to offer, but that is totally something we can work with!)

My mother, however, has become intense since my pregnancy. Very critical (“that’s stupid, that won’t work, you HAVE to do XYZ") and sensitive, gets her feelings hurt if I tell her that her advice is bad/outdated (or tries to argue vehemently with me about it, even if I tell her it’s the pediatrician’s recommendation!), and says things like, “it’s amazing you survived”. So…yeah. She’s always right. Very frustrating! I would be even more frustrated if it were my MIL, because she lives closer! Doesn't help that my dad says it's the grandma-to-be's right to give advice (ass-vice, lol. there is tons of that) and I should just say "Thanks" instead of correcting her and being ungrateful. Um, if we're talking about sleep safety, I'm going to correct her! Period!

If anything, I think my MIL will be even less obtrusive since this next grandkid is her son's versus her daughter's and she's always been very respectful of our space!

Well, LO isn't here yet, but so far so good. I hope there aren't any drastic changes after LO gets here. I'm not worried about my mom at all. She's always been a great mix of supportive but not intrusive. She doesn't give me any advice at all, unless I specifically ask, and even then, she knows things have changed (she has 7 grandkids).

My in laws have also been really good so far. Sometimes my husband (in a well meaning way) will invite them for things or will tell them things I wish he wouldn't share---but his mom has been *really good* so far at telling him he might want to run that by me first. Like, we were staying with them for Thanksgiving, when my morning sickness was at it's worst (before I got Zofran) and I was miserable. I could hardly leave the bathroom. My husband kept pressuring me to come downstairs to socialize and to "try" some of his mom's food (very spicy south asian dishes) and kind of making me feel bad about being unable to eat my MILs cooking---but she basically told him to stop bothering me, and kept bringing me plain bread and cheese, etc. So nice!