Hellobee Boards

@mediagirl: that is so sad. Even if they think they are too young, um, too late now!

First time everyone was super excited. When we announced this one, we put C in a big sister shirt and face timed with our parents. Both times they were like, oh, hmm, what does your shirt say? Wait, why? So didn't fall flat but it took a while for them to get it. Then they were excited.

Luckily everyone "approves" of our timing I guess.

We kept news of LO2 a secret (and we still haven't officially publicly announced) because the baby was measuring small based on dates but I had awful MS and my parents were being super mean about me being lazy and laying in bed and not tending to my son and husband, etc. It got to a point where I told my mother out of duress because their comments were making me really upset. The baby was a surprise - DS was just a year when we found out - and she told us we were ridiculous and irresponsible and should have planned better when our son is still basically a baby, etc. Then she said "well I guess I should say congratulations because a baby is something that should be celebrated, I guess." Let me add that we are 34, well established and had 3 years of fertility issues before we had DS and thought we would need intervention for a second.

DS' parents were somewhat lukewarm too, but I don't know if it's because of the age gap or because we expressed concern over the baby's development.

We are still waiting on genetic testing so we haven't told everyone, but so far it's been pretty night and day from when we had DS - everyone wanted to throw a damn parade with him.

@gingerbebe: I was worried about lukewarm response due to age gap. I found out I was pregnant when DD was 9 months old. My mom has been great but my dad has voiced concern about having back to back pregnancies.

My parents were super excited about our pregnancy, but our engagement announcement fell flat. It was over the phone, we were in Europe, but I could tell their enthusiasm wasn't genuine. As it turned out, one of our/their cats had gotten out of the house was was killed by the neighbour's dog 2 days before. She was 21, and they were devastated. They told me when we got home, so I understood, but felt disappointed for the rest of the trip.

Not the same thing, but just goes to show that there are often things in the background, like @Lulu Mom 's announcement. Do you think there is a reason his parents would think they were too young? Did they have children while they were young and wish they'd waited for whatever reason?

These stories are really sad!

DH's parents were very excited, but his mom said several times during that visit that she thought we were going to wait 5 more years to have kids. She said she had just been asked by a coworker if we were having kids soon, and she told them that we were just starting in our careers, we got married young, and so forth. She went on to repeat that story several times, so that felt weird!

But then at Thanksgiving this year she told me that in her opinion the time to have kids is when you are young so you have energy, and then you can enjoy yourself when you are older and an empty nester. So... who knows.

We also got comments from our coworkers about whether or not we "did it on purpose." It was not totally on purpose, haha, but it was still surprising and disappointing to hear that as the first comment from so many! Oh, and a colleague senior to me commented that he had a friend who had her daughter when she was 18 and it was so great that they were like best friends and could share clothes and so forth... as if my having a baby at six weeks shy of 26 was totally the same thing.

People are weird.

Actually I forgot- when we called my parents on FaceTime to tell them the first time, my dad was all concerned about whether it was using his data (which, btw, he has plenty of and never goes over). Finally I was like, dad, stop! This is worth any overage charge I promise!

I only ever had a couple of people ask if my first pregnancy was planned- which it very much was. Ironically no one really asked this time, when it wasn't so much planned.

Bumping in case anyone else can commiserate. I'm 8.5 weeks with #2 and we told the ILs this weekend. MIL asked twice if this was an accident and FIL just rehashed how awful my labor was the first time around and how it made HIM sick with worry. LO1 did have a very traumatic birth and I have no doubt it was scary for them; it was scary for us too. I'm just sad and hurt that they couldn't find anything positive to say.

My boss said "How many more of these things are you going to have?!?!" when I told her I was pregnant with my second, but that's very like her and pretty much what I expected (and to clarify, I love her and wasn't offended). All our family members have always been thrilled for us.

With my first pregnancy, my boss was incredibly rude - he acted disgusted and said "and you're telling me this, because....why?" Umm, because I'm a responsible team member and want to plan ahead to be sure my clients have coverage when I'm...you know....having a baby!!!?!? I didn't go back to that job (partially bc I didn't want to, and partially bc this guy put up all resistance to renewing my contract).

When pregnant with DD3, people thought we were kidding, so they had some kind of weird reactions. I don't think anyone expected we would have another. I sensed a lot of awe/pity over how much trickier people thought I'd just made my life.

Yes, unfortunately my own sister had a negative reaction to our announcement and continues to completely ignore me and the pregnancy. It's really sad.

Our announcement fell flat as well but I think that was partially because I expected more. My extended family doesnt have many kids and half of the cousins never even got married so when my older brother began having kids it was met with huge excitement. I think my mom thought our news would be too so she made introverted me stand up and announce it at a family event, something that is NOT in my comfort zone. It was totally met with a hilariously lukewarm response akin to having just told them we unfortunately just ran out of potato salad and now they were all going to have to eat coleslaw. No one was rude about it but I felt so silly and kinda bad afterwards, especially when the response had been so overwhelmingly positive when my brother announced. I think at that point though, three kids in, they were over the excitement
When we told my MIL and FIL we got such a bizarre response it still confuses me to this day. Both had been bugging us for years to have kids but when we finally told them we were pregnant they both were like "Oh, that's nice" and went back to discussing mundane subjects. About a half an hour later, though, as we were passing food around the table and eating my MIL instantaneously burst into wracking sobs to the point where she could barely get any words out. Both my husband and I were so confused about what had suddenly come over her but eventually she was able to spit out that she was just happy. She continued sobbing like that for another ten minutes and then quieted down and never said anything about it again. To this day I am still not sure she was telling the truth that those were happy tears...

@skinnycow: thanks

@babybunnylove: i'm sorry about your sister. i know that must be painful. i hope you have other people who are excited and supportive.

@periwinklebee: thanks so much sorry you had that negativity. i know everyone processes things differently. as a generally positive person i just can't comprehend saying things like that to someone! so excited for you and your sweet boy!

i know i haven't replied to everyone, but thanks to all who shared their experiences.

DH texted BIL, BIL, and SIL the news, and the responses were basically "cool" and "you have no idea how busy you're about to get." Uh thanks. So glad you're excited about your new niece. And they knew about our 1st loss and our fertility issues.

Also, one BIL never got LO1 a welcome gift, a Xmas gift, or a 1st bday gift. Yet he gets his other nieces presents regularly.

@jhd: That is so inconsiderate of you to worry your FIL again this way! (ugh)

@DesertDreams88: I'm convinced some people really don't think at all before speaking. But the gifts thing is a whole new level of rude.

@jhd:

I sent MIL the pictures from our anatomy scan today, and just got her text response, which was "ew, he's picking his nose." It's been a long day so my patience is a bit short, but yeah, I was definitely annoyed. 1) no he's not, and 2) I don't expect anyone besides me to find my US pictures cute, but grandparents can at least pretend to

@bushelandapeck: We got the same exact kind of responses with #3. Then after people got over the shock that we purposefully were having a third, the "omg i hope you have a girl" (we have two boys), comments began.

@ValentineMommy: @bushelandapeck: Same here. We have two boys and are expecting another boy. People have seriously been "offering their sympathies" (one was even a mom of three boys!) and there have been lots of "just have to try one more time for your girl!" 🙄

@jhd: I know, it does though make me grateful for my mom I have an anterior placenta but just in the past few days have started feeling more consistent movements as opposed to the occasional flutter. Baby movements are the best thing ever, ever My husband keeps on telling me "you seem so happy now." Loving second tri.

Ugh to all these negative comments about the sex. I think people just say whatever happens to pop into their mind without thinking at all.