Hellobee Boards

Login/Register

Did your SO say "good job" or "I'm proud of you" after you gave birth?

  • poll: Did your SO say something along the lines of "good job" or "I'm proud of you" after you gave birth?
    Yes : (55 votes)
    52 %
    No : (37 votes)
    35 %
    Other : (14 votes)
    13 %
  1. PawPrints

    pomegranate / 3658 posts

    I really have no idea. Probably I guess? He did give me a gorgeous surprise push present and brought me all the delicious food I wanted (or ordered it from room service for me) so that was pretty much what was on my mind at the time.

  2. sarac

    pomelo / 5093 posts

    Yes, my husband was very proud of me for delivering naturally and was excited to brag about it on facebook, which was more than I would have done, honestly. How could you watch someone go through giving birth (however you do it) and not be amazed and proud of them? I would have been offended too, for real.

    ETA: woah, I'd need a heck of a lot of therapy to get over the stuff you're describing. Leaving while you're pushing for eye drops??????

  3. 78h2o

    grapefruit / 4441 posts

    @sarac: "How could you watch someone go through giving birth (however you do it) and not be amazed and proud of them?" - That's pretty much what I was thinking! Thanks for the validation! I told DH it would be like if I watched him run a marathon and didn't say I was impressed/amazed/proud. He responded though that if I asked how he was feeling post-marathon, and didn't say anything else, he wouldn't be bothered. So obviously we just don't see eye to eye on this!

    I'm glad to know that other people would feel similarly in my shoes, but also glad to hear that not every SO would respond the way I kind of pictured would be the norm.

  4. Mrs.KMM

    grapefruit / 4355 posts

    Maybe I am just more chill about this stuff but DH commented on how I got more sleep during labor than he did. I didn't care – maybe because it was true! I know that he thought I did a wonderful job so I don't mind letting him complain that he had a hard time sleeping on the uncomfortable couch and was cold during my 36 hour induction.

    That said, because there is clearly still tension between you guys as a result of things that happened during your labor, I think it would be worthwhile to talk it out and maybe meet with a therapist. Your feelings are totally valid even if not everyone would have reacted the same way.

  5. Charm54

    cantaloupe / 6885 posts

    I don't remember exact words, but I remember an overwhelming feeling of love and joy from him in those moments after birth , so that is what's important to me and what I hold dear from my memories of those two days

  6. 2littlepumpkins

    grapefruit / 4455 posts

    Not with lo1, but with lo2, yes. I think it was when we were close to leaving the hospital? My dh was pretty laid back about the birth and postpartum process both times though. (I guess we're still in the pp part for #2, he's a week old.) It's just not his personality to verbalize that kind of thing, but I know how you feel because I get frustrated too sometimes!

  7. Cherrybee

    papaya / 10570 posts

    I cant remember so I just asked my husband if he remembers saying something like this. His response - "I dunno, coz, well..... you were doing a great job up until the moment when you shit yourself. Try not to do that again this time".

    Umm, thanks.

  8. 2littlepumpkins

    grapefruit / 4455 posts

    So I just went back and read the comments and it does seem he wasn't very supportive. Husbands may not say and do all the right things at the right time but he kind of left you to your own devices at a time when anyone would need support (duh.) It's good you're working this out and that your birth experience the second time was better. I'm sorry you had to deal with this though!

  9. Anagram

    eggplant / 11716 posts

    My husband ia not very good at verbal compliments of any kind, in general. And I dont remember any compliments after delivery but I just asked him, and he claims he did say he was proud of me. Haha. Who knows.

    I actually just thought about this recently because a male friend posted a really sweet, thoughtful note about how awesome his wife was to go through labor and give him their baby, that kind of thing...and I just thought, yeah my husband would never in a trillion years write that kind of thing on FB. It's just not him.

    Having said that, his good qualities are still abundant. This is just not his strong area.

  10. pinkcupcake

    cantaloupe / 6751 posts

    @Cherrybee: um, I truly hope your husband was joking when he said that , because otherwise that is just awful!

    I don't remember much of the moments immediately following the birth but I do my husband was totally in awe and still to this day calls me a rockstar for giving birth. I downplayed it once saying I had an epidural and he got really indignant and said there's no way he could have done that, epidural or not

  11. travelgirl1

    cantaloupe / 6630 posts

    I had two planned c-sections, so it's different. He never said he was proud of me, but said many times with each pregnancy/delivery how well I had coped. Actually though, that pissed me off this time, because recovery was horrendous and when I kept hearing him tell people "yeah she's doing really well" I felt like he totally didn't get it at all. Someone asked me how painful breastfeeding was and I described it and he said "it wasn't THAT bad!" I didn't know whether to laugh or punch him.

  12. littleblessings

    pear / 1739 posts

    My SO was telling me I was doing a great job the whole time I was pushing. Then kissed me when the baby was out and told me I was beautiful. That's with both my LOs but he almost passed out with the first so he was sitting the entire time.

  13. sapphire

    nectarine / 2173 posts

    I don't remember what he said at the time but at the time but he certainly has said so since. But I'm not sure how your DH was supposed to know that he was supposed to say that esp when there is so much happening at a birth and so many emotions. To me it was much more important that he was there and supporting me at the time --mattered a lot more than words.

  14. MsMini

    grapefruit / 4056 posts

    I had a true emergency c-section and then a RCS, and both my kids ended up needing to be resuscitated ... I honestly don't remember anything but listening to the team work on my babies.

  15. Cherrybee

    papaya / 10570 posts

    @pinkcupcake: Yes! Every word that comes out of his mouth is a joke, he's completely incapable of saying something nice.

  16. MrsRcCar

    grapefruit / 4712 posts

    My DH almost passed out at both births. 😟 He isn't one for a lot of words. Once he regained his composure he gave me a kiss and that was that.

  17. Rockies11

    persimmon / 1363 posts

    My first was a CS, my second was a very protracted labour, 3 hours of pushing, a vacuum assist, cord wrap, rescessitation, and postpartum complications with a retained placenta. I have absolutely no idea what he said to me, lol. He did sleep through active labour (which was the middle of the night) and got a coffee right before the start of pushing. He almost fainted and had to be sat down and given some juice after the baby was out. He fell asleep with the baby while I was still in the delivery room, although we were there for a long time afterwards for monitoring. The nurse said "wow, your husband is an amazingly heavy sleeper" lol. I have 0 negative feelings about any of this because he is unable to stay awake for love or money ever, he is intensely stressed in medical situations, and the birth was very traumatic. He has an abundance of good qualities but medical support is not really one of them, and I am okay with that and look for support in other ways. I tease him that he got a solid 10 hours on the night our baby was born.

  18. daniellemybelle

    cantaloupe / 6669 posts

    I don't really remember, but I doubt it. I think he said, "I love you," and, "You got this," etc. More expressions of love and support than straight up praise. Maybe he did though. I was kind of distracted

    @78h2o: My husband is not really big into praise either. It's been an adjustment for me because we were raised really differently. He has learned in the past 7 years it means a lot to me to get recognition and gratitude and has made effort, but it is not natural to him. So, I feel you.

    @Rockies11: DH was up with me all night the first night in the hospital (LO basically did not sleep so neither did we) and so the next day he was dead asleep through multiple nurses, doctors, LCs, and even visitors! I mean, like, DEAD. A midwife sat on the cot he was sleeping on to talk to me and he just snored away.

Reply

You must login / Register to post

© copyright 2011-2014 Hellobee