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@ElbieKay: Were you going to a really nice place? bar? was it really late? That would be the only reason I could see her assuming you hired a sitter. Otherwise it seems a bit bizarre. She also doesn't have children yet, perhaps is a little unaware.

I wouldn't bring kids to a dinner with a former boss! I find that when the kids are around, it's hard to focus on anything but the kids.

But ever situation is different, and you'd know best what's appropriate...

I don't think you were off the mark, just two different lifestyles, two different thought processes. Usually the type of restaurant and time of the reservation tells me if I want to bring LO along.

We are going to dinner this week and even though I could bring LO (family friendly restaurant, other parents) the reservation is for her bedtime and so I would rather not.

@ElbieKay: I have trouble socializing when my kids are around! If your son is quiet and well-behaved, that's a totally different story...

I would have gone the other way on this and assumed that it was just the 4 of us getting together, and hired a babysitter. Unless the person specifically mentions wanting to see the kids - or if they have kids too then I'll ask if they wanted to get together with or without the little ones.

But realistically, holding an adult conversation while having a toddler (or near-toddler) in a restaurant is pretty freaking difficult - they're adorable, but would totally take over the dinner. I like sometimes getting out of the house just with DH and other adults, and getting a bit of a break to relax with friends. Sounds like that's not really your thing, but bottom line is that if someone asks to meet up with you and DH for dinner, I would not assume that it includes your son unless they say so - just ask!

Nobody has ever asked us not to bring the kids, usually it's a, "We are so excited to see/meet them" situation. We just don't do dinners out without them unless it's a date night, and we don't get enough of our own date nights to want to share them with others.

As a child-free friend my friends always let me know if their LOs will be in tow and give me the option to opt out and get together another time.

One time I got together with a friend & her baby boy at a Mexican restaurant. While he was totally adorable he did not respect the double dip rule when it came to chips and salsa. Even when we got him his own he still wanted to dip the one I was using. When he made friends with a little girl across from us we all had to stop, admire her and make small talk with the other family. Kids change the dynamics.

As a child free person, I would assume that if we're going for dinner as a foursome, the child will be left with a sitter.

Maybe for the reschedule you can do Idian takeout at your house? Then LO is in their own space and you can put him to bed at the appropriate time and still interact with your friends? (That being said- I probabaly woulda assumed lo was invited- or tried to clarify when setting up plans!)

If it was brunch... I would totally expect LOs to come.... Dinner with another couple (especially if they are traveling to get there) it wouldn't cross my mind that kids would be there.

Maybe your nanny could sit for the rain check dinner?

At 6:30 I would think that was still early enough to bring LO, but in that instance I don't think I would have. We met recently with friends who don't have kids for dinner and I mentioned beforehand that I was going to bring LO just so they were prepared. It's definitely a different vibe!

If I had made plans in advance for a night time dinner out, I would definitely assume kids would not be brought along. Last minute plans or bigger groups--I would be more likely to expect people to bring their children.

Most of my friends' kids around that age are headed to bed in the 7ish range, so that would be the other thing that would surprise me if they brought their kid along.

I would definitely have mentioned that I was bringing the baby but I can't really see bringing him. It totally changes the tone of the night and I don't think I would really enjoy it. I would not have assumed you were bringing your son. There's something to be said for a nice adult dinner even at a casual place. I think it's really good for parents and worth getting and occasional sitter.

I would assume it was a child free dinner, too, unless they explicitly said something about wanting to see E, or unless I said, "oh we can't get a sitter, is that ok? Otherwise we can have you over"....also when E was 10 month old, she didn't have the patience to sit through dinner and would throw things and be rambunctious, so she certainly wasn't fun to take places...

I would have assumed it to be child free, but it doesn't hurt to clarify. I've met my child free friends and I always tell them if LOs are coming and that we need to do some arranging according to their schedules. For an ex-boss, I wouldn't want to get into such details so would have just assumed child free.

I would also not bring my child unless it was clarified ahead of time. My friends with children always ask beforehand if they should bring their LO (and we always say yes- but half the time they want a sitter anyway to have some adult time).

I think a lot of this regional too. Babies are welcome everywhere in my town, whereas I think some big cities have more child free environments.

I don't think either party should have assumed either way! I think if I wanted to meet someone without their kids I would have said "are you free for dinner Thursday? I wasn't sure if you would be able to find a sitter for then." I think the onus is more on them.