I don't and I hope for the best for everyone whether it is 6 weeks, 20 weeks or at birth! I know people who get irritated by announcements before a certain week.
I don't and I hope for the best for everyone whether it is 6 weeks, 20 weeks or at birth! I know people who get irritated by announcements before a certain week.
cantaloupe / 6692 posts
Nah. I kind of had an epiphany about announcing early after my cousin had an early miscarriage. She didn't announce the pregnancy but shared her miscarriage and asked for prayers/support. Since then she's shared her infertility struggles. I like that she does. I hate that she would have to suffer in silence. So if anyone wants to share their pregnancy early, that's fine with me. That way they don't feel like they have to celebrate their baby secretly at first or god forbid, suffer a loss in silence.
I'm debating on sharing my second pregnancy early whenever it happens. My FB is strictly close friends and family only anyway.
Then again, it's better for some people healing wise to keep those things quiet. And that's perfectly fine! But for me, I would want my friends and family's support while grieving. I just imagine being very sad that I couldn't tell people I had lost a baby when they didn't even know that baby existed.
pomegranate / 3565 posts
Nope. I announced to my family pretty much the day I found out and everyone else at 8 weeks. I like hearing about babies!
hostess / papaya / 10219 posts
No, not really but I will say this: since having two miscarriages, I have more negative feelings about people announcing early. It's like I'm jealous that I could never be that carefree about early pregnancy again. A co-worker announced yesterday to the whole staff that she is 7 weeks pregnant (she is due on what would have been my due date if I hadn't miscarried last weekend) and I felt angry/envious that she is able to do that and not have to feel terrified like I do. Not my proudest admission, but there it is.
grapefruit / 4649 posts
I don't care when people announce but I am kind of shocked when people tell the whole world at a really early time. I am all for telling your family and close friends early if you are the type to share a mismarriage or if you might need the support but it's kind of awkward when it's an acquaintance or a Facebook friend from high school.
nectarine / 2784 posts
In general no, but I've been annoyed before when someone announced to me a few days after finding out.. and then proceeded to talk to me about her pregnancy every. single. day. for the next 9 months. I was so tired of hearing about it and wished she had waiting the usual 12 weeks or so to announce so I only would have had to hear about it for 6 months. This person annoys me in general though, it would be different with a friend or family member.
clementine / 903 posts
I have such mixed feelings about this!!! I am thankful to have never had a miscarriage; however, I am very sensitive to the fact that it could happen... I have had some rare (medically related), one off type things happen to me in my life. Although unrelated to pregnancy, these things diminish any possibility of me being carefree about pregnancy or anything else health/medical related.
All this to say I agree with @travellingbee: to an extent that I am jealous of someone who can just announce to the world she is 6-7 weeks pregnant and be so carefree about it, like nothing could ever happen. I am jealous that I can't go through life blissfully ignorant of all that can go wrong.
So right now, I am about 7 weeks pregnant, and we have told a few friends and that's it. It felt good to tell them, and I agree with the premise of needing support through potential miscarriage. I also agree with the premise that until baby is in your arms, there will still be pregnancy-related worries. So it also seems totally reasonable to live in the moment, celebrate today (with whomever you may want), and hope for the best.
So to summarize my thoughts:
I told some friends in confidence early, but acknowledged it was early and asked them to pray for all to go smoothly for me. It would not bother me if a friend told me in a similar manner.
It would irritate me if someone made an early, carefree announcement (like in the office or on facebook), but I think my thoughts about this are colored by my experience and stem from jealousy. I would be happy for them and wish them the best, but just be a little irritated/jealous inside.
pomegranate / 3401 posts
Nope! But me personally I hate announcing.....I don't like putting the spotlight on myself at all. My preference is to just have people notice and not have to say anything. Actually my real preference is to just appear one day with a baby in my arms. I'm so superstitious about it.....I know first hand about things that can go wrong (preterm labor & miscarriage) so I'm so reluctant to say anything.
clementine / 903 posts
@Ginabean3: I agree with you about just appearing with a baby in my arms!! In my perfect fantasy world, that would be possible! I kind of don't want to have a baby shower for that reason too - hate the attention, and want the baby in my arms.
pear / 1547 posts
@travellingbee: This exactly. You aren't alone. Also not my only un-proud admission due to having experienced a miscarriage
pomegranate / 3314 posts
No, I don't really mind. Most women are aware of the risk, so I assume they know what they're doing.
GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22646 posts
Nope! To each their own! I only feel comfortable after first trimester for a public announcement but that's just me. My BFF had a friend who announced early and lost the baby and she is forever scarred from public announcements.
eggplant / 11716 posts
I don't care when people tell in person. Sometimes I'm shocked by immediate we-just-found-out announcements on FB, but I've only seen one of those.
My friend group is older and most people go the very-late-announcement route. Last time, I told just our parents right away in person. We told the rest of our immediate families at 12 weeks. Friends at 14 weeks and didn't make an announcement on FB till I was like 17 weeks or so and that's just because I would sometimes be tagged in pictures and I looked so pregnant, haha.
This time I am telling work sooner because I'm already showing and super sick. My two closest girl friends and our parents knew immediately. I will announce publicly after our first ultrasound.
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
Erm, considering I shy away from any kind of public announcement, especially with photos, I am always surprised when I see an announcement before 12 weeks.
pineapple / 12566 posts
@mrsjyw: completely agree! I feel like I get nervous for women who announce before the end of the first tri, though.
grapefruit / 4663 posts
@Anya: this. there's one particular person i know who announced the day she peed on a stick both times and it just annoys me to no end.
grapefruit / 4089 posts
I couldn't care less. I love hearing pregnancy announcements, and people are free to share whenever they are comfortable with it! That being said, I personally won't announce publicly until after the first trimester, but I'll absolutely tell close friends and family pretty early on.
wonderful grape / 20453 posts
It mostly makes me nervous, based on my own experiences. But i'm a huge blabbermouth IRL with friends who know my history.
When they post a positive test with their barely dried pee stick, though, that's annoying. I don't wanna see your peeeeee
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
So I was part of a group text last night and a friend announced at 10.5 weeks. She got lots of ️️"congrats" and "so exciting" comments but one rude acquaintance wrote...dang, isn't that early? I hope things go well and you don't miscarry. She always makes negative comments about everything so I'm not surprised.
clementine / 903 posts
@autumnlove: Wow, that is a rude comment! 10.5 weeks is early, but getting closer to when most people announce anyway... No matter what though, that comment wasn't nice!
pomegranate / 3565 posts
@autumnlove: OMG - what an awful thing to say!
I had announced by that time. But honestly I probably couldn't have hid it longer. I was already showing and people figured it out before I said anything.
blogger / pomegranate / 3201 posts
No, it doesn't affect me personally, so I don't really care, but I do cringe sometimes when people announce publicly very early because I have had a miscarriage and I know how hard it can be.
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21628 posts
It doesn't bother me. I'll be a little jealous no matter when the announcement is made.
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
@mrscobee: @Mamasig: the group text just stopped after that! I just texted my friend directly-hope you are feeling well! are you going to find out the sex this time?
nectarine / 2765 posts
@autumnlove: what a crummy thing to say!
I personally don't care when someone announces, to each their own.
cantaloupe / 6800 posts
I get nervous when I see someone post really early, like the pee stick is still drying or before theyve been to a doctor so they dont even have a due date yet.
I also can't stand when people never announce and are just like "surprise! I had a baby today" haha
I guess ideally would be like 10-16 weeks? I don't care really all that much though
clementine / 903 posts
@autumnlove: That is sad! If that person wanted to text that, they should have at least sent a private text!
cantaloupe / 6634 posts
@Danizaur: 100% agree.
I am a bit more shy after two losses but it's a hard decision to make...do I want to include more people for support if it's lost? Or, will I feel vulnerable if everyone knows? My answer varied all the time. We told grandparents after our first ultrasound this time and made a general announcement at nearly 16 weeks once we found out the gender.
I don't care for when people post their pee sticks though...
grapefruit / 4923 posts
i admit that i used to be surprised when people would announce before 12 weeks. but now it doesn't bother me, because if you announce early and there's a loss, people can support you (i mean, you could not announce and just tell people about the loss, but just saying support is there either way). i guess i would be surprised if someone threw a baby shower in the first trimester, but otherwise i'm okay now with an announcement at any time.
nectarine / 2148 posts
I have had mix feelings. I have not had friends that have posted super super early like other bees have mentioned (like stick is barely dry), but have had some that posted earlier than the usual outside the first trimester. When I was having IF issues I was more sensitive about it, but didn't make me really emotional. Now that I am 18w, I announced to family, friends, and work around 10w. I did it at that time because by that point I had sooooo many tests (countless bloodwork and 3 u/s) and my doctor told me that my chances of miscarrying were the same if I was 13w, so I personally felt confident in sharing. I did not share though on facebook until 16w. Overall now I couldn't really care when people announce.
The only thing that irks me about facebook is just people that overshare.
clementine / 920 posts
I am always a little surprised when people announce early but I think it is because if I had a loss I wouldn't want to have to share it with the whole world. I purposely only told my best friends and immediately family at first because that is who I would want to provide support.
pomegranate / 3791 posts
No. I don't understand being annoyed by something that really has nothing to do with you. And I wouldn't assume that someone announcing early is naive or unaware of the possible risks. There's nothing wrong with celebrating the happy moments of your life, even if you don't yet know exactly how things are going to end up. Things in life could always take a bad turn - I could give specific examples but won't since I'm sure pretty much all of us have experienced awful pain at some point. But does not celebrating the happy moments make the bad moments easier? I don't think it does. Being annoyed by other's joy and hope seems...well, kind of catty, and like it's just going to bring you more unhappiness. I experienced a CP several years ago and I understand jealousy, but not to the extent of judging someone over what they put on FB when.
Unless it's a pee stick. I don't care how far along you are, I don't need a photo of something you peed on. Unless it's a really close mom friend sharing it with me personally.
pineapple / 12793 posts
@autumnlove: wow, your "friend" is an
a-hole.
I only care if someone announces to steal someone else's thunder. Like don't announce at a wedding or on another person's announcement.
honeydew / 7622 posts
Eh, I don't get irritated, I just hope all works out well. I just widely publicly announced yesterday at 33 weeks, so I'm sure some people are just as annoyed that I waited so long. Everyone who I actually see and talk to has known for months. Since I'm self employed I needed to let people know my maternity leave is coming up.
pomegranate / 3658 posts
If it's really early I would probably think "yikes that's risky" but I don't particularly care either way. Maybe a bit of that feeling of like "that's nice that they can be so carefree, they must have had an easy time so far."
cantaloupe / 6791 posts
The posting after peeing on a stick the same day bothers me, mainly because I wish I could be that carefree. Having had a missed m/c at 9 weeks, I was so nervous to announce the next time. My mind can't really comprehend telling everyone before the stick dries, but I always hope it turns out well for them. A Facebook friend wrote a post last week about it being her due date had she not miscarried and I think that was great because she got a lot of support. She never announced the pregnancy, though.
I'm 10.5 weeks and haven't announced publicly, but most people in my daily life (excluding work) already know. I'll probably announce in a week or two.
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