Hellobee Boards

I don't understand why it would matter to people. Some people may not want to be open about a miscarriage but I see no reason why it's a requirement to keep it behind closed doors. Many of my friends have been open about theirs and I think it's helped others know they're not alone. And I think the first trimester is often one of the hardest. You don't look pregnant but feel super pregnant, it can be isolating and depressing to have to go it alone. I get irritated whenever confides in me they can't believe someone announced early, just celebrate their joy instead of trying to be a concern troll.

This is tough, I mean to each their own, we told our parents right away with both pregnancies, and my best friends knew as well as my sisters within a few weeks. People who I would need support if I needed it in a loss. however, I'm not going to lie I judge a little when I see stuff on FB for people I barely know announcing at say 6 weeks and see comments from their family going "oh wow we had no idea" I even saw a grandma-to-be say "seriously I have to find out from Facebook" and to me that just seems disrespectful to family, announcing in such a public forum. Again each their own but I do get slightly judgy, can't help it (being honest!)

I don't care if someone announces the day they find out because it has no impact on me whatsoever.

So, what if the pregnancy does end in a loss after the announcement? I guess thats the "worst case scenario" with announcing early, right? It would be unfortunate and very sad, and everyone would know she miscarried. But what's so bad about that? Obviously she's sharing her journey by announcing early...I don't get what there is to look down upon or raise your eyebrows at.

The only reason I don't like super early announcements (except for close friends of course) is because I feel like the pregnancy drags on forever!!! 8ish months is a loooong time. But I'm always happy for them and supportive no matter when they announce.

I didn't "announce" on Facebook until our son was in our arms. We posted a photo that said "look what we made!" Lots of people were super surprised (people who aren't really close, friends I don't see often) but their reactions were great. I'm 15 weeks with #2 and will probably wait until after he/she is here to say anything.

It does not matter to me when others choose to announce, I figure if they announce early, then they probably will not mind the support if something happens. For myself, I was super over the top crazy about no one knowing until after 12 weeks. Looking back, it would not have been a big deal if people would have found out early. We announced to family at 12 weeks, I did facebook at 6 months because I knew by then photos of my shower would give it away, anyway. If there is a next time, I'll probably announce sooner. I think I was just terrified because it was my first pregnancy! Most people I know announce to family around 8 weeks and do the FB thing around 12.

@Rainbow Sprinkles: Our first loss happened at 5.5 weeks, before we had announced. It was my first pregnancy, I still looked at miscarriage as a taboo topic. It was so isolating and sad. From there, we decided that even if something happened next time, we were comfortable sharing with friends and family very early on, because we wanted their support no matter what. I will say, that circle of people was rather small, but it was nice to tell some people right away. Plus, the conversation and congrats helped get me through to the dating scan where we saw a healthy baby.

@littlejoy: I'm so sorry you had to go through that alone.

I had a mc in Oct/Nov and I've been thinking a lot about this topic. Back then, I told relevant people (my 3-person work team, my immediate family, my best friend) right away. I'm glad I had their support throughout the loss, and the loss became more and more public because it took 3 weeks and an ER visit and I'm the type that never misses work. The "publicity" didn't matter to me bc ppl were very kind and accommodating, and I didn't feel any pressure to "put on a happy face."

Next time, I will not tell anyone until betas probably, then again I will tell the same people, in person. However, I may share to more people in person "early" (8-10) weeks if everything is on track. In my opinion, I never will know how long the pregnancy will last, so I want to enjoy it as much as possible, and for me, that means sharing. I also would want people's prayers and support.

But never FB until like 12-14 weeks. I've never seen someone post before then, anyway.

Also, some food for thought:
https://medium.com/the-archipelago/im-pregnant-so-why-cant-i-tell-you-271659d03f36

@DesertDreams88: That's a really interesting read...and doesn't short-change how complicated the issue actually is. Yikes.

@ChiCalGoBee: Thank you, dear. It's been crazy...long and hard. This poses a whole new question...what to do about social media? If it makes any difference, the vast majority of my friends either a) have kids or b) know how long we've been trying and will be happy for us. On the other hand, I hate over-sharing on FB...

I told my team at work as soon as I knew, but that's because I could no longer do parts of my job (possible exposure that's not worth it when pregnant). I told grandparents at 4 and 5 weeks, sisters/brothers at 8 weeks, and facebook at 12/13. I don't care when other people announce.

@FliegepilzHut: You should 100% share whenever you want to!!! With all you've been through you soooo deserve announcing your joy for all to share in! I just feel like since I was so lucky and blessed to have a relatively easy experience compared to others that I didn't want people to think I was rubbing their noses in it? I'm dumb-everyone shares on FB, I'm just weird!

I think it's weird to be bothered about when other people tell people about their own pregnancies.

I don't care when other's announce but my internal reaction is very different. If I see someone announce early I immediately just hope nothing happens vs. them announcing later and just feeling excited for them.