Outside of DH/SO taking over for a while?
We don't have family local so my only option for a real break is using vacation time and sending LO to daycare, which isn't much of an option these days because I never have enough PTO lol.
What about you? Do you ever get a break? Who is in your village that makes this happen?
pineapple / 12793 posts
No breaks here. DH works long hours so no breaks there either. Just toughing it out until they are older.
cantaloupe / 6751 posts
@oliviaoblivia: same here.
And I'm a SAHM so no option of daycare either - although I guess the 2.5 hours she's in preschool 3x a week is "my" time 
grapefruit / 4671 posts
I usually plan a staycation when DH has his Feb break from school because that is one of the only times during the school yer when daycare is open. I do wish my mum lived locally, it would be way easier.
cantaloupe / 6751 posts
@Applesandbananas: lol I got way more "quiet" time when I was working - I miss having a daily lunch break when I could close my office door and no one will bother me.
pomegranate / 3863 posts
We have a ton of family close by who love spending time with DS. I have trouble asking for help though so we don't take advantage a lot. We're trying to be better about it though!
pineapple / 12793 posts
@pinkcupcake: yeah, my almost three year old is in preschool 12 hours a week... But then there's the almost one year old and in two weeks a newborn too. I'd really like some help.
grapefruit / 4085 posts
Yes, we're lucky to have very willing parents that help. Both my parents and MIL come over once a week which gives me a few hours each of those days to get out by myself. M is also in school - but only 6 hr/wk.
grapefruit / 4079 posts
Yes, we live by DH's family and they make it a point to help us out or give us a break when they can. My parents are a few hours away and they take LO for 4-5 days a few times a year.
ETA we are so fortunate to have the support we do.
grapefruit / 4418 posts
DH is great when I need a break and we have my Inlaws close by who are always willing to help out, even though they already watch DD 3x a week. We are super lucky.
pomegranate / 3275 posts
Besides DH taking over? No. But I gave up freedom when I had four kids. And, my definition of "freedom" has changed. I'm stoked if I just have one hahahaha
hostess / papaya / 10219 posts
My parents live nearby and take him overnight at least once a month, sometimes twice. I also work 4 days a week and have Friday's off but have to pay for daycare that day anyway so he goes. I get errands and cleaning done.
Eta: things will be different when this LO cooking arrives Im sure. No break from him for a while...
nectarine / 2987 posts
We just joined a gym, mostly so I can drop off the kids in the nursery for an hour a few times a week and take a long, hot, solo shower lol.
papaya / 10343 posts
Not really currently. My parents lived a few hours away and they have babysat a handful of times (maybe 5 or 6?) in LO's 19 mo so we could have a date night. But I've never gone out without LO or DH when my DH was not watching LO.
My parents just moved to my city a few weeks ago though, so I think in the future they will take her more. Maybe not a ton in the next year or two because my mom finds her toddler-ness exhausting. But when she's a bit less.... crazy... I think my parents will take her more lol.
pear / 1697 posts
Thankfully, yes! I work Tuesday through Sat. LO goes to daycare for at least a couple of hours most of my Mondays off. The price difference between 4 days (at the higher part-time rate) and 5 days was only $20/wk!
Sweetie, on the other hand, takes care of him solo on Saturdays while I'm at work and gets much less in the way of breaks
grapefruit / 4355 posts
Not much. DH travels for work every week so he isn't around except weekends to help. His parents live about 30 minutes from us but they both work FT. They help us out occasionally but it isn't and all the time thing.
pomegranate / 3779 posts
Every couple of months we will ask my parents to watch LO - they live almost 2 hrs away, and have to drive and spend the night and they have to find someone to take care of their dogs, so we try not to ask to often.
For short periods of time, we've developed a small network of friends and neighbors that will watch LO for a hour or two. We try to do the same for them.
eggplant / 11716 posts
We basically only get breaks if we pay for a babysitter or if we fly in a set of our parents (they all live far away). Babysitters are $$$, so the breaks are few and far between.
papaya / 10570 posts
My inlaws have E three days a week to save us money. E is in daycare two days a week. This means that they are not up for weekend babysitting. We could afford FT daycare but my inlaws and my DH are ALL ABOUT saving money and Id never convince anyone this system needs to change. My mum wont look after E at all and so the only break I get over and above DH's input is when I take PTO and send E to daycare. We do have a babysitter we trust but she needs to be booked well in advance and we never remember to book her - plus, my DH would have something to say about the expenditure if I used her without a damn good reason (family wedding etc); date nights are out!
persimmon / 1045 posts
Sort of - when my parents visit from overseas every few months. No village here to speak of though
I also think I get a break when LO is napping during the day. I do big meal prep on the weekend so I can usually chill out and catch my breath when he's asleep.
I look forward to being closer to my mum & dad so that DH & I can get a break together more often though 
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
No breaks. No family around and they don't help much when they visit.
cantaloupe / 6610 posts
Yes...I love my job and that's one thing that I appreciate is having the time to focus on something and stay focused. It gives me a mental break from Mom-ing. And if I want to go for a run or something before or after work, our nanny is willing to stay if my husband isn't home. My husband is also basically wonderful about wanting me to get out and do things for myself while he keeps the girls.
We don't have family nearby so I feel really lucky to have so much freedom, and I still feel like I have tons of time with my girls.
blogger / apricot / 424 posts
Not really and my parents live down the road... I am looking into sitters though, so there's hope
cantaloupe / 6885 posts
Yes we are very very fortunate that my parents and 2 of my sisters live only 2 minutes away. They often pick the girls up for an afternoon and my oldest daughter loves sleeping over (she's there now!)
My other sister lives across the country and I don't know how she does it all without help...she never gets a break and her and her husband haven't had a date night since my mom visited last summer. I wish we could help her more, it's tough 
pomegranate / 3565 posts
Yes and no. Yes because I WOH the home so I have time away from being a mom. And my mom now lives with us so she is there as back up. But because she watches my youngest while we work, I try not to take advantage of that at other times. And no because my children are night owls and are basically up whenever I am.
eggplant / 11861 posts
Yes and No, DH is willing to let me go whenever, but for family no! Surprisingly they live 5-10mins away but really never offer or if I ask it is not good time for them! So it is what it is they love DD dearly and we do just fine!! For now..... lol
pomegranate / 3983 posts
I didn't really ever have a break for the first four years of being a mom. Now the older one is in pre-k and the younger one started part time preschool- so on mornings they are both in school I have a "break". Of course I am expecting again so it will be short lived, but I am trying to be intentional of taking a couple hours to myself each week.
pomelo / 5621 posts
We don't have anyone here.
My break would be when I'm at work. I'd have to take a day off and send DS to daycare to get a day to myself. Date nights are non existent.
Luckily DH is good and will stay home if I want to get out of the house by myself.
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
Yep, I have a pretty big village, so if I want it, I could get me time regularly.
eggplant / 11287 posts
I get breaks when I'm working (I work PT) and then my mom takes my kids once a month or so just to give me a day to get stuff done.
cantaloupe / 6059 posts
Very, very rarely. Maybe one or two hours once every month or two!
honeydew / 7917 posts
My sister lives with us, and she has been a big help. My FIL also takes the kids for a sleepover once or twice a month depending on his work schedule. The break is much appreciated, but prepping to leave the house for a few hours or longer is a lot of work. I still need to cook every one of their meals in advance since they have food allergies.
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21628 posts
Not really. DH works really long hours and is often called in on the weekends. 
We like to spend time together as a family when he's home. Our moms live really far away. We do have an aunt that is local who will babysit for us once a month. I'm working on getting DD to take a bottle so I can leave her with a babysitter.
grapefruit / 4455 posts
Every now and then we do from grandma but she only takes the three year old. We've only been away from the newborn once for fun in the past almost three months, and I think once maybe twice for an errand. He's easy though. Also when dd goes to school mwf mornings. She's about to go five mornings a week because I'm finishing some classes, plus all day once a week. So that'll be like personal time. We are hiring child care for lo2 at that time.
coconut / 8483 posts
Not a lot. But the last couple days we were away at my moms and she is mega helpful. But three hours away.
Our last date was in August.
pomegranate / 3706 posts
Not very often. Once a few weeks ago, my ILs took both of our girls all day, and I didn't know what to do with myself!
cantaloupe / 6630 posts
No. Until recently we didn't live in the same country as family and I chose not to use baby sitters. Now we live with my inlaws and I'm sure they would let me leave the kids with them and go out, but I would prefer not to until the baby is older, so not getting a break now is really my own fault.
I would however kill for a lie in or early night and be more than happy for someone to help with the kids then!
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
My mil watches LO 3 from time to time when I want to spend some QT with LO 1&2.
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