There are a few people I'd prefer not be anywhere near LO but how do you say no, don't touch my baby, no you can't hold my baby, etc.?
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Nope, I have never said no but I've reminded people to wash their hands.
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When I took my daughter to my office during my maternity leave, a few coworkers asked to hold her. I said no and gave the reason that she was a bit too clingy and I didn't want her to start crying. That was part of the true reason (I mean, it's an office and people were doing work, I didn't want her crying to interrupt them). But the majority of the reason I said no was because these are the type of women who would take her and start walking around the office showing her off without me. And I can't stand that!
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@reyorra: Ive seen that happen and it irritates me too. Not your baby to show off!! Lol
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My real issue is with a couple of relatives I can't stand. one aunt who bashes my husband, me, our marriage, etc. but my uncle is wonderful and hugely important to me so I can't see him without his wicked bitch wife. If she tried to touch my baby (and she's notorious for snatching up babies without asking and snatching babies from their moms arms) i would probably slap her.
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Yes I often tell people no. DD has some major stranger anxiety so it is easy to say no. Even when she didn't though I would decline peoples offers to hold her.
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@Mrs.B: how did you say it?
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@reyorra: ugh HATE that!!
@septemberlove: well when they arrive (or you arrive) just hold the baby the whole time maybe, lol. Or announce "no one holds the baby without washing!" And hold up a hand sanitizer or something..so she would have to seek you out first?
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I wear the baby alot so people can't just snatch him up.
and I have told people they need to wash their hands before holding him.
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Have you tried babywearing in a situation like this? I know it's sometimes hard to anticipate, but if I'm ever going to be somewhere and I know there will be someone(s) who I do not want to hold my baby I will put her in the wrap (and the more fortress-like and complicated the tie the better!) and then be all like, "aw... too bad. It took me forever to get her in here and she is just so content right now! It would be a shame to take her out..." and usually they drop it. And it's great because then it's not about them at all. It's just... extenuating circumstances. And even better than that, lots of people get intimidated by all that fabric and don't ask in the first place.
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A few times I just said something like, "I've just managed to calm her down so maybe I'll hang onto her for a little bit more." And then I change the subject - no one has ever re-asked.
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@sorrycharlie: she's not respectful enough to comply with a hand washing request. If she were the least bit respectful, we wouldn't have the issues we do. The most ridiculous part is that she acts like she's never done anything wrong and that I'm just a brat. Thankfully my mom will attempt to run interference but I just don't know how to decline her inevitable attempt to get her disgusting bitchy hands on my LO.
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@Mrs. Twine: that's an awesome idea!!
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I don't let anyone except family hold him so far, but he's a preemie and flu season just ended. I never actually had to say no though because we've limited visitors and when they are around him everyone has been really respectful, hasn't even touched him.
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So far we just have had family and friends ask. As long as they wash their hands or use hand sanitizer, I have been ok with it. We went to a 2 year bday party last weekend and I didn't want anyone to hold her since there were so many kids and who knows what germs, so I just wore her the whole time, so I didn't have to say no to anyone.
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No...I've never said no because I just don't know how. I will be unwelcoming though. Meaning, I'll have him in his carseat with a canopy over it or in his stroller, covered with a blanket. I feel like that gives off a "stay away" vibe.
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@Rubies: wow, I'd be afraid they'd ask again, I'll have to try that as well and hope they drop it
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@Mrs. Twine: I plan on doing the same - I'm glad to hear it works!
I am going to really struggle with this too. Every time my husband or I say anything about our LO on the way there are people who say 'Oh, I cant wait to snuggle him and kiss him!' and they are always the last people i'd want snuggling or kissing my baby. Ugh.
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@grizz: I am so glad I'm not the only one!
Thankfully I do have some support from DH. He isn't this aunt's biggest fan either. He's also agreed to not allow the neighbor to visit with LO (we have rude obnoxious neighbors!)
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I was a a funeral last week, and a stranger to me (brother-in-law of my step grandma) wanted to hold her, but I'd just gotten her to sleep, so I said no and explained she was sleeping and her naps hadn't been very good between the viewing the.day before and the funeral that day. He still said later that he thought he should be able to hold her...I stood firm!
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I've used the excuse of LO just eating when he was very young - I explained that his belly was full and we were having issues with spit-up so I'd rather hold him for a little longer just in case he had some juicy burps. It's worked as a distraction so usually people leave us alone.
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I say that she will cry. Which is true, she has major stranger anxiety. Even people that I really want to hold her can't.
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I say she has stranger anxiety - which is completely true. She will shake if anyone hold her besides me, DH and my family!
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@tinyperson: That man would have creeped me out!
@septemberlove: When DS was a baby my ex's dad's church threw us a baby shower. DS was a preemie (8 weeks early) and went home from the NICU at 15 days old (still 6 weeks before his due date). They had planned to throw the shower before DS even was (suddenly) born, but thought they had time to ask me about it. Then when DS was born, they asked if they could still have the shower for us. I said yes, cause they were sweet ladies, and I was familiar with them. Plus, I can't say no to presents, lol. BUT, DS was still a baby (still before his due date), and I was worried about the little old ladies passing him around. I was super protective of him because of his earliness. (and because I'm a mama bear type).
I told a friend of my ex-FIL about my concerns, and she took the reins before the day of the shower and told everyone that the baby is off limits, cause his immune system was still so weak, and there would be no baby passing.
I hadn't had to refuse anyone else, since. Now DS is 5, and he can refuse to to be held himself, lol. No one wants to hold him anyways, lol.
People can be creepy about it, though. I know of people who just can't resist babies (like your aunt) and will snatch them up. Just say no, and don't let her catch you off guard. Wearing is a great idea.
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@Dandelion: he was a little creepy...DH even said even if she wasn't sleeping he didn't want him holding her!
and I have told people they need to wash their hands before holding him.
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