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@babyjmama: LMAO, my thoughts exactly.
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@mrs. bird: whaat? Does he have another wife somewhere?
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My parents are traditional Chinese parents, and my mom felt obligated to give my dad a son. She still feels like a disappointment after having 5 girls. She even thought that she might have cursed her daughters to only have girls. I have boy and am expecting another. My mom is crazy, and I don't feel like I have to provide DH with a son.
I did worry that my in-law's might prefer a boy so that there is someone to carry on the family name. DH's grandparents had 7 kids, and LO is the first great grandson with the family name. Only one other cousin can pass on the name.
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@mrs. bird:
so wrong of them.
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@mrs. bird: eff that. Ain't nobody gettin remarried! :))
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I don't feel like it's my duty to provide a son, but DH is the 3rd generation to carry on his name. I feel like it would be a shame if the name ended with him, even though he has plenty of male relatives to carry on the last name. But the funny thing is, I'm the one who cares, not DH. He is not interested in having a boy at all. He is crazy about DD and if pressed will say he hopes our next LO is another girl.
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No, he is hoping for a daughter actually.
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Nope! I'm the one who wants a son. He wants three girls...
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I think he'd really like a boy to play sports with and stuff. I would have considered "one and done" if we have a boy first because I don't rely have the same dream of a daughter. But since this one is likely a girl I wouldn't be surprised if we try again. But THEN I'm done for sure regardless of sex.
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@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I should have clarified that a bit! We're married, i am his wife, we had a traditional wedding (Nigerian) and a wedding with our minister, but fertility is very important in his parents' culture and it's not uncommon to get a women pregnant prior to marriage to ensure she isn't barren. My infertility would be grounds for him to take another wife, polygamy is accepted in some groups or when a wife fails to produce children, he won't, but that doesn't prevent some members of his family from reminding me of it. Marriage prior to children to some members of his family is viewed like a trial period, once you have a baby it's more real, once you have a boy you've done your duty and you're a 'real wife'
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Quite the opposite--we both really, really wanted a girl (not that we don't LOVE our little boy). I felt a lot of familial pressure to give "the family" a girl, since there hasn't been one born into the McK family in 75 years, and we're the last of this generation to have kids.
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@babyjmama: hahahaha
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nope zilch, although he did get a son first
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@mrs. bird: good God. Is he royalty?
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At this point, I'm just trying to get pregnant.
I think the DH will like a son so the name can get passed down but I don't think he will be completely upset. He is cautious about having daughters so he might not like being out numbered if we have more than one daughter. Since we have IF and are considering adoption, I don't think it will be hard to request a son if we want one.
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DH actually prefers all girls! Lol.
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@Mrs. Polish: haha, well his name does mean son of the king and his dad is a chief, so in his dad's mind he is
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I kind of do, but mostly because DH's older brother will probably never have kids, so it's on DH to have children to carry on our last name. But we just found out today that we are having a boy, and I know that we both would have been happy with either gender!!
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I'd really like to have a boy & would like to for reasons of DH having someone to carry on his name BUT I do. not. feel obligated..... figure the sex of the child is totally up to God & determined through DH. I have no part of that. lol
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Nope! In fact he has expressed his desire for all girls. He says we can have our own dance troupe lol
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Aw hellz nah. I don't feel any duty or obligation to provide him any children at all - male or female!
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@Arden: lol and YES!
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@highwire: I'm certainly not above saying I personally do too as well. DH is the last one on his side to have kids and there is not a single boy yet. So the line will die with this generation if we don't have a boy. Call me old fashioned but I feel some self given pressure to pop out a boy. Or raise my daughter to marry a guy who'll take her last name.
DH of course is completely happy with either.
@mrs. bird: I think in some respects in China it is still expected to have a boy! I know people who still give away daughters.
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@Arden: Exactly!
We would like to have a son so that we could experience both, but I certainly don't feel any pressure.
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Heck no! He's gonna get what he's gonna get and be happy about it! I just saw someone on tv say how Kate was such "good royalty" to have a son first. Like she had a choice in the matter!
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I don't feel a "duty" but we do both want at least one boy - we have a girl now. Dh has said that if we end up with all girls then he gets to pick a dog so he's not too outnumbered.
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Yes. We planned to have kids until we got a boy (within reason!) LO is a boy and we are both thrilled! I would love to have another boy if we have another.
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i think my husband and i both liked the IDEA of a boy better and would have been disappointed until our baby girl came then i think we both would have felt completely different. my hubby is kind of a guys guy but he also has a lot fo female friends. we got a son. likewise i love the IDEA of having one of each but i truly love having a boy too so all boys would be wonderful as well.
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Nope! And our last name will die with our daughter.
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DH wanted girls!
He looooooooooooves having a boy though! -
Neither of us had gender preferences. My husband and I both thought it would be nice to have one of each, and we were lucky it ended up that way. I think DH would be just as happy if we had all girls, though.
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DH really wanted a girl & initially was disappointed we were having a boy.
I did get some weird congratulatory remarks about giving him a son though.
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@babyjmama: I. Just. Died. Hahahaha !
No I didn't - but I wanted a boy first !!
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I don't feel a duty to (HA!) but I would like to have a son. I think we would be both be great parents to a boy someday so I'm hopeful it will happen. But if we end up with all girls, that's great as well!
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Not one bit. Neither of us can consciously decide what we are having so there is no reason to expect me to produce a specific gender. Also, it is the sperm that determines gender so technically if he wants a boy and doesn't get one, is his fault! Lol.
He also doesn't care entirely what gender we have as long as they are ours. Sure a small part of him wants a boy but I can't even describe how proud he is to be the daddy to a little girl!
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I think DH has a duty to provide me with a daughter
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Not at all. We will be happy with either.
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I never did and DH wanted girls, but we got pregnant with a boy so I guess I did so without intention. I am excited though that this boy will carry on the family name.
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Not at all, in fact, I know he wants a daughter. We have one boy and are hoping for a girl this time.
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No - he wanted a daughter anyway!
so wrong of them.
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