Hellobee Boards

I lost 2 before DS and I basically feel I have 3 kids, but 2 are in heaven waiting for me. Getting pregnant twice in under a year exacerbated a brain tumor I didn't know I had and had it not been for those pregnancies, I wouldn't have been diagnosed when I did. Turned out the tumor was also affecting my hormones, so I credit my 2 little girls for helping get their brother here safely.

@winniebee: I think you have every right to feel sad. It doesn't matter if you have zero kids or ten. A child lost, is still a child lost.

You should definitely not feel guilty for feeling sad. That being said, I am like the opposite. I was devastated after my first loss (before LO). Just had a second loss last month and it didn't hit me nearly as hard, probably because I was so busy with LO. Makes me feel guilty for not feeling as much grief for the second one. Ugh loss is hard no matter what.

No, I don't think I felt guilty per se...more thankful that I had my LO and could celebrate him. My first loss was hardest because it was before my son. My second loss was sad too, but I felt easily distracted by my toddler.

Losses suck no matter what. I'm sorry.

@winniebee: so sorry you're going through this.

I'm so sorry you are going through this again

I don't feel guilty for the time I spent/spend grieving my loss because I already had a baby, but I did feel a bit guilty when DS was born, both because he wouldn't be here if I hadn't lost the other pregnancy, and for not enjoying him as much as I should because I was grieving.
I try keep the memory of my loss alive as much as I can, by having a memory box from the pregnancy out in the living room, their birthstone on a necklace alongside DD and DS's stones, and my friend is painting a picture of us all and will include our lost baby as a star. We also celebrate their due date by going out to do something fun, that they would have enjoyed had they been born.

I had a chemical pregnancy while trying for ds2. And I was really sad about it but also felt guilty as we've had a relatively easy time w conceiving and went onto have ds2 quickly thereafter.

It didn't help that the nurse on my ob's call line pretty much said I wasn't really pregnant.

Several Hb users reminded me that a loss is a loss and whatever emotions we feel about it we shouldn't feel guilty about going through the roller coaster of emotions. One's journey is hat person to go through and experience.