Hellobee Boards

I feel like I should have some say and I don't think your feelings are unreasonable at all.

I completely understand the feeling that you never see your husband. We just had a tiff on DH's way out the door to work today. I have no say in his schedule but I'm tired of it. It's been this way for 2.5 years and I think he deserves a better schedule at this point.

He works W, Th, F from 2:30 PM - 11 PM and Sat & Sun from 2 PM - 10:30 PM. I work M-F from 7:50 AM - 2:50 PM. We don't even have one day off together as a family. I don't have any advice but I can commiserate if you need to talk to someone! Hugs

@mrs.bird: I'm new to the boards but not to hellobee. My husband is a chef and I work in finance so our hours together are few. He works later than me most nights and works on Saturdays as well. So between the work hours and needing to have some time for our own stuff, it's hard to squeeze in quality time for us especially with a toddler and another one on the way. However when he is about to change his work schedule, we always talk about it first. He is planning to stop working on Saturdays in a few weeks which I'm thrilled about because we can finally be a "normal" family on the weekends.
You are not being unreasonable in expecting him to at least talk to you before making a decision that impacts you both. I would just talk to him about it and tell him how you feel. Time spent together as a couple is important.

That really is awful! Such long hours away.

I never used to have any say at all - DH works Mon-Fri 7-5 then Sat 8-12 at his regular job and then takes on sound engineering work evenings and weekends. However, since we had the LO, he has started running the sound work by me and I have some say in how many gigs he takes on each weekend. I work 37 hours a week, though, and earn more than he does from both of his jobs combined - and that's the payoff, I guess.

I am so sorry. DH has no say in his schedule, so I certainly don't. It sucks and leaves me resenting his time at the gym (which is the same as Mr. Bird's. Power lifters are nothing if not dedicated). But, if he had a choice to take these hours then he should have run it by you before he accepted, even if he knew he would still take them.

@mrs. bird: I understand. Dh is starting his own business and his current employer wants to contract him back - so we are talking through how much he is going to work during my maternity leave, etc.

I don't have a say in his work schedule. This past year he took on a role to train new staff and going into it I knew he wouldn't be able to take PTO for 10 months. What I didn't bargain for was the evening team building activities. There were just a few of them, but those days were really, really long. Mr. Lime takes (too much) pride in his work. If he isn't at the office he is working at home.

I don't have a say, but it's the same all the time, so we just live around it.

I would be sad if DH had a similar schedule. I don't have a say in his schedule, but I have asked him to go in a little earlier so that he can get home at a decent time. It's really difficult to get dinner ready with a toddler and an infant.

I have no say in day to day things (sometimes he has to log in to work or take work calls on nights and weekends). But he would never agree to regularly scheduled weekend hours in the office without consulting with me.