I'm struggling a lot with mommy guilt. Just the mere thought of putting LO in daycare makes me feel horrendous. I know it doesn't make me a bad mom but I still feel like a bad mom for doing it.

And I feel horrible because I spend so much time pumping (which is when I hb) and if I'm pumping, I can't hold LO. (He's on fortified breast milk so we can't really nurse and at this point, nearly 4 weeks old, I'm not sure if he will ever nurse, I may wind up pumping for a year).

Then there's all the housework that has to get done (just the basics like dishes so that he has clean bottles to drink out of, laundry, etc. I really have pushed off/slacked on most stuff in favor of more snuggle time) but I hate that what I have to do interferes with holding him.

He sleeps most of the time and when he is awake, he gets plenty of attention and snuggles but the mommy guilt is still there. I didn't realize how intense it'd be.