I have a friend who is an attorney who seems to have a good balance of work, kids, and quality time with her husband. She also looks perfect all the time and works out in her living room in the mornings before her kids wake up...
She does so many cool things with her kids on the weekend and takes them to kids museums, story hour, playdates, etc. They never have a weekend when they just chill at home!
I'm tired just thinking about it! 
cantaloupe / 6146 posts
Sounds like my parents!
I wish my life was a little more like that, but then again I don't know how my parents were with BABIES, not bigger kids.
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
Not really! Everyone seems worn out except for people who have live-in nannies. They don't count!
pomegranate / 3053 posts
That does sound so tiring! Some of my friends have told me that but it's so far from what it seems! LOL!
cantaloupe / 6146 posts
@autumnlove: how old are her kids?
also.... i am less tired doing outings than staying home all day...
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
@pastemoo: 3 and 11 months! She doesn't have a nanny or family nearby but her kids go to daycare and her husband helps a lot! He is an attorney and works from home twice a week!
I guess the trade off is her social life with her adult friends and lack of sleep!
pomegranate / 3980 posts
I have a friend that has 5 kids and makes it look easy! She homeschools and everything. She is absolutely gorgeous, you would never guess 5 children have come from her body and she doesn't even work out! I am super jealous lol.
cantaloupe / 6146 posts
@autumnlove: WOW! I hope in 3 years I am her. 
I would totally take my kids on playdates with her. I LOVE museums.
Having the cash on hand for a nice daycare helps, too.
GOLD / wonderful grape / 20289 posts
Nope!
Friend #1- Told me that she no longer wants baby #2, baby #1 is enough work!
Friend #2- Literally threatens to slap her toddler. I try not to judge because I don't have a toddler.... but this one really rubs me the wrong way.
Friend #3- When in a group of our family hands her baby off to her DH and parents and refuses to make eye contact with the baby so he won't want to go to her for the entire night.
Friend #4- Toddler showed up to my LO's birthday party in her dress up heels because that's the only way her mom could get her to wear her party dress. Personally I thought her dress up heels were adorable, but I still felt bad that her mom had to fight with her that morning.
So no, my friends don't have it easy either. I don't think anybody has it easy, I think some people just hide it better than others.
pear / 1728 posts
LOL Ive had friends tell me that I am that person that makes parenting look easy (please dont think Im bragging. Because its NOT easy. But my friends tell me I make it look easy) Part of it comes with the fact that I do my hair and makeup EVERY DAY. Even if it is a polished bun on lazy days, I have to be put together. I dont wear sweats or yoga pants unless its bedtime or Ive just woken up. Thats just me, Ive always been like that. Another BIG part of the fact is-Liv is an easier child than a lot of my friends kids, and Im super laid back about parenting. Id say my style is kind of attachment parenting while pushing independence. I let Liv dictate needs, and she got herself into a schedule. I dont stress about how much she eats, if she only eats fruit at one meal, if she naps for 30 minutes, etc. I just go with it. She makes up for it later. We do lots of activities (we live in NYC so museums and stuff are what people do here). I work out after work before I go home, or in my living room after she goes to bed. Dont get me wrong, its NOT easy. Its busy, exhausting, fun, and at times I want to yank my hair out and scream, but to outsiders, it looks easy (or easier than it is.) So even if she appears to have her sh*t together, she struggles sometimes too. Promise =o)
cantaloupe / 6730 posts
I have one friend who makes it look easy, but not in the way many of you are describing. It's not that she takes her kid to tons of activities or doesn't look tired or doesn't have to deal with tantrums. It that she doesn't sweat it. Her husband works halfway across the country and he's only home every two weeks, and she works, herself. But when it comes to the struggles she has, she just goes with the flow. Toddler doesn't eat much for dinner? Or well, he'll eat more tommorow. She wants to go out? She gets a babysitter and doesn't feel guilty. She just doesn't have that frazzled aura about her that I see on so many of my other friends.
pear / 1728 posts
@Grace: thats exactly how I am. And I think thats why my friends think I make it look easy. I just go with the flow. Except for the feeling guilty when I go out. I have her stay with the nanny (shes not live-in) and I feel incredibly guilty the entire night and request 1000 photos and updates lol. But it took me a bit to get to that point. Liv is 13 months old, and Id say it took me until liv was around like 8 months to get there
pomegranate / 3314 posts
@LivsMama: I'm kind of like you in the sense that I absolutely must dress reasonably well and wear make-up/do my hair everyday. Yes, it can be a pain somedays, but it makes me feel like I'm maintaining a tiny bit of my pre-baby self and that's hugely important to me.
On the other hand, I would love to be more laid-back, as you are. I'm not the "call the pediatrician at the first sign of something being 'off' type", but I'm also not totally "go with the flow". I'm working on it! And honestly, I think that when we move to be closer to my husband's job (he's currently commuting from Brooklyn to Stamford) and I have him around more, it might take some of the pressure off of me to be responsible for everything. At least that's what I'm hoping!
wonderful grape / 20453 posts
^ What Grace said. I know friends who really, really stress about everything. And I know others who are more go with the flow. Control what you can, and let go of what you can't.
However, I don't think it takes a lot of effort to look good! Putting on a pair of stretchy jeans (that fit you well) and a cute top take just as much effort as sweats and a raggy ole shirt. A french braid takes seconds, as does a polished ponytail. And a little blush and mascara takes half a minute, but goes a long way.
Maybe she wears her kids out on the weekends!!!!!
pear / 1728 posts
@meredithNYC: YIKES! Brooklyn to Stamford?! Thats brutal. We are considering a move to Stamford or Greenwich, but cant until my office moves from Jersey City to Midtown. The hair/makeup/dressed thing is important to me. I think part of it comes with living here, but mostly its that I want to retain some of that pre-baby self as well...for me and for DH. I just feel better when Im put together. my DH travels a lot for work as well, so I feel ya there. There are times I basically walk away and say "you take her," but his being away is actually what made me be more laid back. Since I didnt have him to fall back on at times, I kind of said "F it. You dont want to eat a full dnner, dont eat. You can eat later" etc. I decided it was easier on my sanity to go with the flow than try to control something and someone that kind of cant be controlled yet. And as soon as I laid back, it got easier. Not EASY by any means, but easier.
What part of BK are you in? We really need a mommy get together in Central Park or something for the NYC area moms!
pomegranate / 3314 posts
@LivsMama: Yikes is right! So far, even with the commute factored in his hours are better than when he worked for Citi in Tribeca, so... overall it's worth it. Initially I was all, no, we can't leave Brooklyn!!! But now I'm like, yeah, let's do it. I just need more time with our whole family together, you know?
I agree that keeping everything somewhat together looks-wise is a huge part of living in New York, though in Brooklyn it's to a lesser degree. When I go home to visit family in Indianapolis, it's way different. My friends with babies just don't bother with getting "done" for the day in the same way that women do here. Though I think even if I had stayed there (not that my English husband would allow it!) I would still not let myself go down the sweatpants route because my mom never did and that's stayed with me.
We are in Prospect Heights and I agree there should be an NYC area mom get together. There must be quite a few of us!
pear / 1728 posts
@meredithNYC: I feel ya with the move. Im from upstate NY (Fingerlakes region upstate, not like westchester upstate lol) and if I had stayed in my hometown (beautiful, but shoot me) I would do the same as I do here as well.
There are a ton of us. We should see if a group wants to get together one weekend!
| Today | Monthly Record | |
|---|---|---|
| Topics | 1 | 0 |
| Posts | 0 | 1 |
Ask for Help
Make a Suggestion
Frequently Asked Questions
Bee Levels
Acronyms
Most Viewed Posts
Hellobee Gold
Hellobee Recipes
Hellobee Features
Hellobee Contests
Baby-led Weaning
Bento Boxes
Breastfeeding
Newborn Essentials
Parties
Postpartum Care Essentials
Sensory Play Activities
Sleep Training
Starting Solids Gear
Transitioning to Toddler Bed
All Series
Who We Are
About the Bloggers
About the Hostesses
Contributing Bloggers
Apply to Blog
Apply to Hostess
Submit a Guest Blog
Hellobee Buttons
How We Make Money
Community Policies
- Google Plus
- Stumbleupon
- Twitter
- Facebook
- Pinterest
- Favorite0
18 comments