When it's time for them to retire?
I know it's a common practice for Koreans.
I'd love to have my parents live with us! But alas, both sets of parents are financially well off and want to live alone!
When it's time for them to retire?
I know it's a common practice for Koreans.
I'd love to have my parents live with us! But alas, both sets of parents are financially well off and want to live alone!
pineapple / 12793 posts
I'd love to have my parents live with us, but it's unlikely they'll emigrate. And there is no way in hell I'd live with MIL.
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
No, I don't think anyone would be interested. Us or them!
bananas / 9628 posts
Omg I would get a second job if it meant my ILs wouldn't have to live with us! In DH's culture, when a man is married his wife is supposed to come live with his family. Never gonna happen! We can only tolerate them in small doses. We get along very well with my parents. Once when I was younger I asked if I could move home for a summer to save $$, my parents told me they would rather give me money than have me move home- OUCH! So I don't think they'd have any interest in living with us=D but I'd let them!
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
No. Way. They would drive us crazy!! I can't handle his parents for a week. If they lived with us, I would move out. Ha! My parents are too independent to want to move in with us!!
Both sets of our parents are already retired.
GOLD / squash / 13464 posts
Nope. None of them would want that. However if any of our parents got sick to the point where it was unsafe for them to live independently I would definitely try having them live with us before they went to assisted living or a nursing home.
clementine / 861 posts
My husband's 97 year-old grandmother lives with his parents and his mom is a saint to deal with all that comes along with that. We would have our parents live with us if they absolutely needed to but we'd really rather they didn't.
GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22646 posts
No, but we both agreed that if our parents were ever put out of their homes and didn't need medical assistance that they would come live with us and not in a nursing home.
GOLD / wonderful pomegranate / 28905 posts
My mom lives with my eldest brother and will probably continue to do so. My ILs are very independent and doubt will ever want to "rely" on us that way.
If it were ever to happen....I think a "in law suite" is in order!!
nectarine / 2886 posts
Nononononono!!!! My parents are too independent to ever even consider that as an option but we actually get along with my parents so it wouldn't be the end of the world. I would never be able to have my in-laws live with us, and I know my husband feels the same way. Having them within driving distance (albeit 5-6 hrs) is still too close for me!
pear / 1764 posts
Absolutely NOT! I love my parents & my in-laws but I am pretty sure that if they moved in our marriage would suffer....no, completely sure!
GOLD / wonderful olive / 19030 posts
Nope, both parents are financially well off and shoudln't need us to have them live with us. However if something came up I woudln't be against it once we moved into our forever home if say one of our mom's became a widow and wanted a place to live for awhile.
pomelo / 5321 posts
I would have my dad live with us if he ever needed it but that is it. I'd rather throw myself off a cliff than be in the same state as DH's mom and I wouldn't want to live with his dad. My mom is a whole other story but she's not invited either!
wonderful olive / 19353 posts
My in-laws currently live with my BIL so that's where they'll be indefinitely. My parents are pretty self sufficient so no they wouldn't live with us. However, if something "happened" and they were no longer self sufficient, they'd live with us.
blogger / pomelo / 5400 posts
No. Just. No. While it would mean an abundance of childcare, some things are not worth the price!
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21628 posts
Not when they retire. My mil is already retired and there is no way she would want to live with us. She is building a cabin in the mountains. However when they are much older and can't live alone anymore I will take care of them.
pomegranate / 3225 posts
no freaking way. But, when the time came (hopefully MANY more years) I would definitely want them to live with us rather than a nursing home.
GOLD / eggplant / 11517 posts
Nope. My in-laws live on 120 acres in West Texas, and will live there until the day they die. They also want their ashes spread there. So, I'm pretty sure they are never leaving.
I don't think my parents would want to live with us.
pear / 1586 posts
Yes. My FIL already lives with us and it's fine. We want to move in a few years to a larger home so my mum and little sister can come live with us. In our dream world, this house would have an in-law apartment for my mum and sister. If it isn't in the same state my FIL would probably stay behind. We shall see!
I guess I am in the minority!
coconut / 8498 posts
My parents would be fine, but they're too independent... and they would hate to live with us. I don't think I would ever agree to DH's parents moving in with us... and I don't think he would agree to that either.
blogger / nectarine / 2010 posts
I'd rather poke both my eyes out than have my inlaws live with us! I'd gladly go live with my parents though - baby S and I are going to their house for the summer. It's like a resort! I just hired a part-time nanny to watch baby S while I'm working. Can't wait!
clementine / 994 posts
I wouldn't mind living with my parents, but they told me that when they get too old to care for themselves, they want to move back to the Philippines...unless I buy a house with an inlaw space/house on the property. They really like having their own space!
There's no way I'm living with my in laws. No way. DH agrees.
pomegranate / 3759 posts
No!! I love my parents and my in laws but thats because I dont live with them!
pomegranate / 3716 posts
Ugh, this terrifies me! My parents are independent and well off, so that won't be an issue. But my ILs of the other hand... They are already retired (mid 60s) but have a pretty traditional Chinese mindset. I'm terrified they expect to live with us when they get older.
We would absolutely need an in-law suite because there is no way I can share the same living area with them and see them daily!!
We've never talked about it with them so I'm not sure what they're thinking. They are also really close to my husband's sister, so I'm hoping they live with her when the time comes, haha.
eggplant / 11824 posts
Not when they retire, but if they get to a point where they can't really live alone, but don't need a nursing home, then yes, they will come live with us. Unless my brother completely changes his life around, he will never be in a position to care for our parents, and my husband's an only child, so I will for sure be taking care of MIL.
pear / 1837 posts
I'd love to have my parents around. They wouldn't want to live with us (although I think they'd like to live near us, say 30 minutes away) just after retirement, but once they can't really live on their own, I'd be happy to have them. I think we'd probably pool resources and find somewhere with a carriage house or an in-law suite so everyone has their space.
My FIL is a physician and will be seeing patients until the day he is forcibly retired for being too old (he directs a free clinic, and will probably volunteer there even after he officially "retires"). I wouldn't mind having him live with us, but he now has a serious girlfriend (MIL passed away a few years ago), and I'm not particularly interested in having both of them.
It actually makes me wonder how these things work out (in terms of everything from location to finances) with various family permutations, if you have an older couple that both have children from other relationships...
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