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@Mrs. Sketchbook: Yeah, if it happened, I would cope. Of course I could. But it would require a lot of sacrifices that, it turns out, I don't enjoy making. The mums I put on a pedestal are the ones who enjoy it and to whom it seems to come naturally. The stereotype of the big family mum is the woman with a baby on her hip, stirring soup while helping her oldest with his homework and smiling indulgently at another. I imagine messy houses, artwork on display, lots of noise and lots of love. That's the kind of mum I wanted to be. But it turns out I'm not. My OCD has ramped up a ton since having kids, I can't stand the mess they make, I can't stand the noise they make and, although I love them fiercely, I frequently feel completely smothered by family life. I hate being needed all the time, someone always yelling for my attention while I'm trying to clean the mess from their dinner. I know it's unpalatable to some for me to say this out loud, but I have to be honest. I will always feel that it's a character flaw - I'm very selfish and I hate that about myself.
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@Cherrybee: That image, I believe for the most part - is a creation of Madison Avenue marketing. Sure, some mothers are better at managing a large brood, some mothers are killing it in a conference room - 'the domestic ideal' is unrealistic and not a great fit for many families IMO.
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@Cherrybee: I completely agree with everything you said and feel the same way, but I just can't allow myself to see it as a character flaw...just self awareness!
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@Mama Bird: I definitely don't think less of parents with fewer children (only have two) but I agree with others posters who have gotten frustrated with questions like "oh you only have one?" or "just wait until two/three/four" that feel dismissive. But I definitely am guilty of taking those sorts of comments personally.
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@Anagram: I'm one of four plus two steps on the other side's which probably explains why I am simultaneously repulsed and attracted to the idea of a big fam.
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@Cherrybee: wow! This is such an honest response! I totally understand and feel the same way. If we had another we would cope and figure it out but it's not our plan or what we want.
To answer the original question, yes, to an extent. I don't hold large families in higher esteem and that's never something I've valued, so just because a family has lots of kids, I don't think they're better or more of a family. I do admire families with similar values and goals with more kids than me who manage it all and well.
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Not necessarily. I mean there are certainly very irresponsible parents with many children and many wonderful parents with one or two kids. But if I see a large family with a lot of well behaved children, I do. I think that's amazing. I saw a mom alone with her 8 kids and a dog and they all seemed like great kids and she was so relaxed. I was in absolute awe of this woman. On top of it all, they were mostly wearing matching clothes that looked to be homemade. For real, how is that possible?
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