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I wah full time with a few office days a month. I've never felt less respected, but I do feel like I don't live up to my own standards in terms of work and personal life. As in, I feel like I should be getting more done because I'm home more and I feel like I could do more professionally if I was in the office more.
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I agree that most people I encounter (in real life) give the WAH less respect. Everyone else I work for/with works in an office, I just happen to be at home since my husband is military, and when he got orders to move, they asked if I wanted to take my computer and keep working.
Most people when they ask where I work seem to automatically assume direct sales type thing/not many work hours...and are usually surprised when DD has a nanny/daycare. And when I've had a nanny quit in the past a lot of just "oh we'll you can just watch her then right?" even from family!
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In my area SAHM AND WAHM are not the norm, there for I do feel like they get slack or not as much respect!
I feel like you said it well it has its small perks but definitely is still a job and work!
I hear comments a lot in my area about ohh she is "just" a SAHM or well she WAH!
So it leads me to my above opinion!
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@winniebee: I havent read all of the responses, but wanted to offer another perspective. My boss' wife quit working to SAHP when they had their kids. She is offended by people saying she doesn't work. She always corrects people with she doesn't work outside the home. Her perspective is she works supporting her family just not for pay. Clearly her work is different than yours.
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@winniebee: I've titled threads that way mainly because it seems wrong to just use the term "working parent" because all parents work regardless of whether they have an employer. So instead I use WOH.
Frankly I'm an attorney and WAH one day a week so I can put in laundry, run an errand at lunch, or see my kid (my mom watches the baby at my home that day). That day I'm not interrupted by coworkers popping in, have my calls routed to vm, and get a lot more done but have much much much more flexibility to do other things. I assume even those who work 9-5 jobs at home also have more flexibly (but not unlimited) to those that WOH but have no less respect for them.
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@winniebee: I don't, and I don't understand why. It's so hard.
When my boy was 8 months to 15 months, I brought him with me to work 3 days a week (kind of like WAH, right?) I nursed him, and checked people in, and answered the phone, and gave shots and stuff. He got babysat for about 2-3 hours per day and I worked 10 hour days the 3 in-office days.
The other two days, I did about 2 hours of work, from home, only during nap time. It was horrible because every failed nap meant I had to stay up late. Nothing was ever clean at home. Thank goodness the people at work loved having a baby around. It was INSANE.
No one at work gave my any crap for that arrangement (except me). But my MIL thought I didn't do my 4 hours from home that I did and that made me pretty grumpy. -
@MrsH: maybe that's the distinction I was missing. That WOH in threads is meant to distinguish from a SAHM/be mindful of the SAHM, who also works, but just in the home. I automatically (and perhaps wrongly) assumed posters were differentiating between WOH and WAH.
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@winniebee: I can't speak for others but that is where I'm coming from when I put WOH.
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@Boogs: You're right, anyone getting their hustle on should be commended!
It's just that some people don't want to hustle and instead want the benefits of both worlds, the working paycheck and being with their kids full time. I have yet to find a way to make this work, in all seriousness.
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@looch: I haven't personally found a way to make it work yet myself, but I still look and hope that things will fall into place like they are meant to one day.
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So DH works from home now, and it has opened up my eyes to the world of WAHP. In some ways, it's awesome. We used to have a super long commute that meant everyone, including LO, didn't get home until 6:30. That made her super cranky, tired, and hungry, and we were constantly frazzled. Now, she's home by 5 at the latest, and she can eat right away.
On the other hand, he doesn't get away from the mess/distractions/chaos that is our house sometimes. And I know it frazzles him, and sometimes I forget that just because he's here doesn't mean he can help. It's even more challenging because his office does not have a door. But we're learning to balance it. He's been WAH for 5 months now, and I think we're starting to get in a groove.
All to say, YES, WAH is a real job that requires childcare and concentration and balance, but it has been awesome for our family. DH is looking for some outlet outside of the house where he can escape for a bit. Once he finds that, though, I think we'll be in good shape.
I'm sorry if you feel undervalued. But you're doing a great job!
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@mrsjyw: interesting! DH has mentioned several times that he feels like he is much more productive here, because there's fewer interruptions!
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@Boogs: So, what are your expectations, then? I don't think it's really possible to have a full working paycheck and be with my kids full time...I don't really have any way to make that happen!
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@looch: I hope to find something really flexible schedule-wise so I can maybe work the days DH is home. Or maybe something with their school to be on the same schedule as them. This option is a bit down the road since I won't have both kids in school for a while. Either way, if I can I would like to be more part time, I think full time might be a bit much for our needs.
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I don't think WAH moms get less respect than WOH moms...but I do think they are envied more, so maybe that is what is coming across? There are perks to both!
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I think they get comparable levels of respect. There are perks but I think you also get asked to do more things around the house than you would if you WOH. My opinion comes from DH WAH 2 days a week, WOH 2 days a week and having one week day off.
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I don't think any parent deserves more of less respect based on "working status."
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