My MIL and my mom ask me about it almost every week. I am turning 35 this year so they think I need to get on it ASAP if I want a third child. I emailed them an article about advanced maternal ages moving up but they still won't stop asking!
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My parents and ILs wouldn't and never have. BILs/SILs yes, and friends, likely a product of being in similar life stages, and I'm pretty transparent about that stuff with the friends that would ask!
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Everyone did the first few years we were married. Now that we've been together so long and are both in our thirties (and are finally ready!), nobody asks. I think they assume IF.
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Not really. MIL told me I didn't need to be pregnant after this but I told her we'll be the ones to decide that. My mom knows that I like to wing it.
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omg you emailed them articles? lol! No one really asks right now but I'm sure if I have another girl this time I'll get lots of "will you try again for a boy?" That would be a no.... we're done with 2.
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Family no, friends yes.
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Yepp, almost everyone.... Especially since #1 and #2 are so close together. Everyone just assumes we're going to have a baby per year and love discussing it. Not happening people!!
ETA: Strangers comment on our family plans the other way around. Even the checker at target has asked if I'm done having kids because we got a boy and a girl. Those comments actually bother me more!
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@prettylizy: ya, I got the article from a thread on HB!
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@autumnlove: HB for the win!!!
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Friends yes, family no. I don't really mind when friends ask.
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Not really. Only my DH's cousin's wife who would ask me everytime I saw her. I've asked her to stop and she either doesn't care or doesn't care. Over Christmas she asked about plans for a third, I AM STILL PREGNANT WITH MY SECOND.
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Thankfully no one asks!!!
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Friends all the time especially the ones with children. Ils- no. My parents-yes. Once we hit the three year mark my parents started asking for grandkids.
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They don't because they know about our struggles.
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@autumnlove: Was it the article from The Atlantic? That is an *awesome* article! *highfive*
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Nope, thankfully we both come from mostly MYOB families, so there haven't been many comments asking about our plans for a second - we've also been pretty open that we're one and done.
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People ask/tell us to have a 3rd. We're done!
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Yuuuup
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@MsLipGloss: yup!
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Yes and it can be awkward! Ugh.
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Ask? No. Comment? Yes. I'm pregnant and my aunt at Christmas assured me she thought we'd have at least three more.
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When LO was younger, DH's grandma asked about #2. Now that he's past 12 months LO old, they don't ask. My boss asked the week after we got married. I told him it would be awhile. We waited two years before trying.
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My inlaws keep hinting at us to try for another one, specifically to try for a boy! They are so old school and I want to say "We don't need a boy, your family is not part of the British monarchy" but I just ignore them instead.
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Our parents don't really ask, but other family members and friends do. I don't mind. It's not a big secret.
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lol, heck #2 isn't even fully baked yet and I get the "awww, so when are you going to try for that girl?" ugggh! I've gotten really good at the raised eyebrows dirty look and remind them they haven't even met our second child yet.
Sure I'd love to finish up with a girl, but I'll be perfectly happy with a third boy- our plans aren't reliant on gender.
I just say that it's going to be several years since I haven't forgotten the crappy parts of pregnancy, I'll definitely need more than 2 years off in between the last two.
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Everyone kept asking about a second for about a year, and once I was pregnant everyone was so surprised. Not sure why. People now jokingly ask when the next one will come. I'm done. Just not looking forward to the question for the next couple of years.
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Not really anymore. We waited so long before getting pregnant (5.5 years) that most of our family thought we weren't ever going to have children.
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All. The. Time. I tell people I don't know if we're going to have kids and try to change the conversation.
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Nope! LO is only 6 months old though.
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@avivoca: this is us. We were together 5 years, then married 5 years, so any questions we did get for a few years had tampered off because most family had put us in the "they aren't having kids" camp
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Family and close friends do but not in a nosy way. We don't mind.
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@runnerd: Yeah, we got married at 21 and 22, no way were we ready to have kids.
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I've been pretty open that these twins will be it for us. I do get a lot of people saying that I may love being a mom so much that I'll be ready to do it again in a couple years. Mostly the people who say that are ones who don't know what we went through to get pregnant this first time. On the flip side, I also get people who know about our IF telling me stories about people they know who went through IVF then went on to have surprise babies later and maybe that will happen for us. But we are very happy to be having two and really plan on being done after this!
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32 comments