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@photojane: This is perfect, I love how you said this.
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@photojane: Very very well said!
@mrbee: Every "kids come first" family that I've seen has fallen to this. Most ended in divorce & the ones that didn't often had moms (siding with kids) undermining husbands and just there being a clear division in the home. It has really turned me off to being open to it.
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@photojane: yes. yes. yes. perfectly said.
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@stargal: I don't think yours is a unpopular opinion.
For us I think it fluctuates. Generally speaking for both of us M comes first. Our priority always lies with her and we wouldn't have it any other way. So most times it would be M, my husband then me. Occasionally we need to shift each other first because without us there would be no kids!
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I agree with @regberadaisy, it fluctuates. Right now, baby comes first. She has to. She needs us right now.
I'll also be brutally honest with you - I'm a self-centered person and think I put me before my husband sometimes. I am working on putting him before me, though. It is one of my goals, to get better at putting him first. By putting him first, I just mean thinking of him, I'm not talking about doing his bidding.
As our daughter gets older, I'm sure we will put 'us' first at times. At other times, she will come first again. We both agree she comes first right now. We talk about it and agree and by discussing it, we are staying on the same page and keeping our marriage healthy.
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I chose to have a child with my husband for a reason. There is no one else in this world that I want to parent with, so for us, our marriage comes first. I would be lost without my husband and don't think I would be half the parent I am now without his love and support. I like to think that we put in equal effort to eachother and our son, but at the end of the day we believe that we are stronger together than we are apart so we put eachother first.
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@stargal: It depends on what the situation is. there are instances where we put her first because she is at an age where she relies on us so much, when she is older than will change
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