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I always feel obligated to do stuff for my mom and my MIL on Mother's Day. So we had a stressful brunch in a restaurant (because my toddler was being, well, a toddler). Then we went to the Costco an hour away because my husband's optometrist was there.

Now it's 9:30, and I still need to pack and do some work before I go to bed, and I have to leave at 4:15am to go to the airport for a 6am flight tomorrow. To Minnesota.

I am cranky.

ETA: And my husband is snoring in our bedroom. Sometimes I wish I had my own apartment. Or at least my own room. How the hell am I supposed to pack?

It's my first Mother's Day, and coincidentally my husbands birthday...so...yeah. It was good considering.

This is the first year I wasn't disappointed because I reset my expectations. After DH asked on Friday (despite many reminders over the last 6 weeks about the holiday) if I wanted him to take DS to get me a plant or chocolate, I made up my mind to not be disappointed this year. I think he saw it on my face because then he asked if he shouldnt have asked. I told him what I really wanted was a break from both kids. So Saturday I took the afternoon to myself. Today there has been no celebration. I was up with the baby at 5:30. I made my own coffee and everyone's breakfast. I did laundry and ran errands and made dinner. DH was pleasant and present. This will just have to be enough. I've been trying for three years to explain the holiday. Clearly DH just isn't going to get it, so I can be angry or content, my choice. Bleh. Best of luck to you. Hope next year is better.

For us, DH planned a really nice getaway, I had a massage, yoga class, lovely brunch buffet. We stayed at an inn in a vineyard. I don't want to sound unthankful because I am very grateful, but LO's behavior just left me a bit disappointed. He was whiny, demanding, cranky, he demanded to go to the bookstore to buy legos (regardless of how many times we said no, he just continue to whine and whine), and when we were in the restaurant for dinner, he demanded to go home and threw huge tantrums over 20 times today. Now it is bedtime, he's in bed, I hear him crying again and walking upstairs. Sigh.

I have learned I need to be explicit about what I want. Mostly to avoid some Mother's Day brunch with my in laws and parents, which is just not what I want to do..
So, it might rub some people the wrong way or feel like it takes the romance or surprise out of it....but everyone is a little happier with this approach, at least in my family! And, I return the favor on Father's Day: tell me what you want to do/receive and I will make it happen!

This year I basically said, "I'm buying myself a nicer gift (a woven wrap), you should get me something that our daughter helps pick out (they got me flowers and some desserts from a bakery). I'm planning several hours out with friends, I want you to cook my dinner."
I went and got mani/pedis and had lunch with friends, and he cooked one of my favorite meals.
I've come to accept that if I'm not explicit, I can't have specific expectations. My husband just doesn't do gift giving the way I do, and so in order to avoid disappointment I'm just direct.

I'm sorry you were disappointed, honestly I'd just find a way to ask for what you need. Like, "I would really love a card from you and LO." it doesn't matter if it comes a few days late, it's Importent that you feel appreciated!

If it makes you feel any better, I've been getting vomited on by my two year old since 2:30 AM...Happy Mother's Day, indeed!

@Mrs D: I'm so sorry. I hope you guys get to go home soon!!!!
@PinkElephant: Hope your LO feels better soon!

I wish people would stop making excuses for men. They are adults. I don't think a card/flowers are outrageous or unimaginable expectations. I HAVE made that clear to my dope of a husband. FAIL! I will spell out my disappointment at a later date. There is no excuse. Low expectations should be met. Everyone deserves a card, homemade is fine. A 'happy mothers day'. Flowers would be lovely. Bare minimum. This shouldn't have to be spelled out.

Well I think it's hard on husbands sometimes because it's technically Mother's Day - like your not their mom. So I think those years before you get something your kid made, it's like an extra holiday on your husband. Some guys get it - you are the mother of their children so they should do something - and some guys are like I have a mom, I got her a card, what's the problem?

Honestly, you probably won't care much as time goes on. My husband always gets me a card and flowers for just about every holiday, but he literally goes to the grocery store the day of and then spends a fortune on overpriced flowers and like a $5 Papyrus card and the waste of it drove me nuts. This year I bought myself a big $10 bouquet of tulips and a cheesecake at Costco and sent DH a picture text like "I got my Mother's Day flowers!" And then DS was sick so we had to wake up early and I had no desire to go to brunch so I ordered brunch to go and had DH go pick it up. Then we took a family nap and went to a little kid's bday party. The highlight was a card my son made me at daycare (a footprint and a handprint on construction paper) - it was my first "I got a card from my kid" moment and he's 20 months old. It was really different and special than a card from my DH.

@schubro3. Well, I wish you luck for next year. Personally, I'm going to either work, or go away for a night by myself. On Father's Day, I will encourage our daughter to do something nice for him. I will shame him by giving a card and flowers. I'm otherwise generally content, but this burns me

This is my second mother's day, and the second one I've planned for myself. I love my husband, but I learned years ago that he is a terrible planner, particularly for occasions. But, he is wonderful at supporting my plans - which is a good fit for my personality. So, I tell him that I'd like a gift, and send him a link to my Amazon wish list, make dinner reservations for my favorite restaurant and tell him when I want him to manage LO so I can go shopping, and end up with an awesome day. Do I wish he would do more on his own? Of course. Do I get jealous when my friend is surprised by her husband with an upscale weekend away? Sure. But, I've realized that I'd rather have my supportive husband 99% of the time than one who can't/won't follow my lead when I need him to.

So, go ahead and feel disappointed, that's reasonable and fine. But, I would encourage you to consider making the day what you want of it next year. It is Mother's Day, not dads plan a day for moms day. Own getting what you want out of the day!

Yes! My husband always insists on me telling him specifically what I want for holidays, so I had several conversations with him about it. (Nothing too crazy I just wanted the new Star Wars movie on dvd, which I made a point not buying so he could ask for it.)

Of course while he remembers the conversations he didn't realize it was about a Mother's Day gift. And has basically said I'm not his mother so there's no reason for him to wish me happy Mother's Day or buy me a gift.

As the op said, it isn't the gift itself, but the thought behind it. I also think I'm a little more sensitive here, since my own mom died a few years ago.

I can remember crying on my first Mother's Day and being really upset. He's gotten better, although I'm pretty sure I got upset last year too. This year I had super low expectations- we have a 2.5 yo getting over a virus or something and an almost 5 month old in a sleep regression or wonder week. I just wanted to sleep in as much as possible, have him make breakfast at home (too hard to coordinate naps and moods and getting everyone out) and to make a frozen lasagna for dinner so no mess or effort. Oh and I wanted mimosas (that I bought stuff for) this morning and a carvel ice cream cake that he bought this afternoon. He also had flowers delivered which was nice (but I slightly cringe because they are so much more expensive to be delivered!).

So I guess the running theme is low expectations and saying precisely what you want.

I remember my mom crying and being upset on holidays and birthdays for precisely this reason. I told myself I would never do this, because I hated it. Last year was my first mothers day and I decided to be very specific about what I wanted so I wouldn't be disappointed. I wanted flowers and a card, and I ordered myself a kindle paperwhite since I was still doing so much nursing at that time. Well, he didnt even get a card or flowers. I think he got the flowers later, but he definitely got a card like 3-4 days after. I was annoyed and I thought my pretty low expectations and request would help me not be disappointed. And then I was annoyed with myself for being annoyed like how my mom used to be. It sort of helps yet doesnt that my DH just doesnt value gifts like I do. And I really don't think I am high maintenance! Its totally the thought that counts for gifting to me.

Anyways, this year he did better. I thought he was gonna let me sleep in and that didnt happen, which was particularly irritating since our toddler woke at 5 which he never does! Plus I worked last night. But we all got up as a family after lounging in bed for a couple hours, and then he went out and got donuts and a latte for me. And he had two gifts for me! So that was a surprise. So i guess he is learning! He's a good dad and partner, and above all I am so happy to be able to celebrate mothers day in any way shape or form.

@youboots: that sounds horrible

Nope. Expectations are low in this house. My DS let me sleep in til 8. DH wished me a Happy Mother's Day. He helped me make cinnamon rolls. Said he was going to make me a card but he forgot (brain injury=free pass). My son threw up all over himself during lunch, then refused his afternoon nap. I took him to Target and got myself some ice cream. It's only a problem if you make it one.

@schubr03: so sorry your day wasn't what you hoped. I've been there!!

My husband is not a good gift giver. I've realized we're both happier if like a month before a gift-giving holiday (we only do gifts for Mother's Day, Fathers Day, and birthdays), I email him a link and say "This is a great idea for a gift for me!"

I also told him his year what would make my day happy. I'm 38 weeks pregnant so last weekend I said "For Mothers Day all I really want is to sleep in and also to take a nap." He delivered!

Not super romantic but I was a happy camper win my nap and the gift I picked out!

@PinkElephant: sounds like my day! DD woke up in poop up to her neck. We shrugged it off and still went to Mother's Day brunch. She projectile vomited in the middle of lunch. I'm sure that curbed our whole family's appetite pretty quickly. I hope your LO is feeling better.
@Mrs D: oh ouch. Poor LO. I hope she is much better. That sounds rough.

Other than my LO being sick, I had a lovely day. My DH always does well with planning Mother's Day, I am very fortunate. I remember my mom always being upset with my dad on her first Mother's Day. He didn't acknowledge her at all. When she brought it up, he said "You're not my mother!" Terrible.

I have been in the past, but not this year. I've learned that I have to ask for what I want, it's not that my husband can't do it, it's that where he is from, mother's day isn't even really celebrated. As for my son, he made me a lovely bobblehead photo holder and a card in school and he was so proud of himself. That's what it becomes about.

I was a little disappointed - my husband got me a pretty plant from a florist that I like, but that was it. I made breakfast and did laundry and it was basically a regular day. I did get to go to the mall by myself to buy nursing bras while the boys were sleeping, and I drank half a bottle of champagne over the course of the day that I'd bought myself. On the one hand it would have been nice if my husband had made a big deal of it. On the other hand, I had a really nice day with my family which I guess is the point.