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I was a little disappointed. All I wanted to do was take a nap, and my 3 year old didn't nap/husband couldn't watch 5 month old because we were moving some stuff, so I didn't get to nap. But he and 3 year old got me a gorgeous fiddle leaf fig which was super thoughtful.

Honestly, as a loss mom, Mother's Day is always hard. And no one said my son's name yesterday, not even my husband. That was disappointing.

@LulaBee:

Also, what is a fiddle leaf fig?? That sounds pretty.

Last year I was pretty disappointed and it still kinda stings to this day. It was my first Mother's Day and I honestly didn't expect anything elaborate because that's just NOT my husband. But I got zero acknowledgement. Not even a "Happy Mother's Day". I really wanted a card that I could keep as a memento of my first Mother's Day.

But I did learn from that that I do need to be very clear with my husband. He's great at many things but planning isn't one of them. He never really buys me gifts, just tells me to pick out something I like. Which, is nice But it really just takes the guilt out of my normal shopping

This year I was proactive and made my own plans. I figured if he wasn't doing anything for the DAY then I would make it my whole weekend
Friday night I lined up a sitter so we could go on a long overdue date night and we got margaritas afterwards. We had a lot of fun! And he said some really heartfelt words about me as a mom and wife which is hard for him to do. He's not mushy! Oh and he came home with flowers which I was SO not expecting. I had said all I wanted was a card, which I didn't get, but the flowers were such a happy surprise.
Saturday I slept in and tried my hardest to do no housework besides essentials. And I told DH a couple of weeks ago I wanted to visit the Bronx Zoo finally. We had SUCH a nice time! Once we got home I took a nap while DS sorta napped and DH took over monitor duty. We ordered my favorite pizza and salad and had dinner as a family. Then DH did all of the bedtime stuff, even cleaning up dinner. Which is huge! Wine and TV rounded out the night.
Sunday I volunteered at the church kids ministry, something I'd been meaning to do for a while and it finally felt like the perfect day for it. I left DS at home with DH since he was extra cranky. Decided on a whim after church that I'd have Mother's Day brunch solo. Which was lovely!
By the time I got home DS was awake and we went to a park we'd never been to before and had a blast watching DS explore. Got ice cream after.
I had a 5:45pm massage and of course DH did dinner, bath and bed while I was gone. And I was very clear that I hoped I could come home and relax after the massage, there's not much relaxing about coming home and having to clean up toys and the kitchen. And it's not really a "day off" if it's waiting for me the next day! I couldn't believe it but he did the toys AND kitchen - fully! Wiped counters, hand washed dishes that needed it, loaded the dishwasher and ran it. This may seem trivial but it's HUGE in my house. And he did it with a smile.
I capped off the evening with a deep, hot bath, deep conditioning hair treatment, a face mask and a glass of wine while bingeing on some Jack Bauer.

Super long post but I wanted to get the point across that I took charge of the weekend and it turned out to be what I wanted. Perfect blend of couple, family and alone time. Last year I stomped around and got livid inside. This year I just promised myself I'd make it what I wanted it to be. And I was vocal about that. I just can't expect him to make the plans, but he's great at following them if I make them.

Oh, and I made sure that I said thank you over and over. When he cleaned the kitchen, took over night time routine, the flowers - all of it - I just kept saying thank you for letting me celebrate how I want to celebrate. I didn't want him to feel bitter or think I didn't appreciate it.

I plan on asking him exactly what he wants his Father's Day weekend to be and honoring it to a T.

And yeah, MD is about appreciating being a mom. I had a struggle to become a mom too. But I don't feel bad that I want a weekend to be pampered. Not one bit.

@LulaBee: that's so pretty!

Reading everyone else responses has definitely helped me put things a bit more in perspective. No he didn't buy me the gift I specifically asked for, but he's planning on buying it this week since he felt guilty/got tired of hearing me complain.

But he dos cook breakfast, which he normally does on weekends. He did let me take an hour nap. He cleaned his car while dd napped which meant I was able to catch up on real housewives.

We did have a bit of an argument which I started my own thread about. And since loosing my mom I'm overally sensitive on Mother's Day.

But looking back I probably should have been a bit more appriciative of what he did so.

I kept my expectations low because of some stuff my DH has been going through health wise. We had a normal Sunday pretty much. He did grab some flowers and a card mid-day but rather than let that irritate me I just showed appreciation. I think that all of these events get blown up so much by social media - I had a few moments of "oh geez, look at her giant flowers/ipad/spa day" but in the end, if I had wanted that I should told DH. But I didn't actually want any of that, so why feel bad about it?

The only part that sucked about my day was having to bow to the wishes and expectations of my MIL. I get it, she's a mom too, but she's had 37 Mothers Days and I've only had 2 - we did what she wanted the last two years and I was hoping to spend the day how I wanted. Instead we had her over, which meant I had to clean and cook and entertain her. I also had to get her a card and gift and such. She for some reason doesn't really acknowledge that it's a day for me too. There were sweet moments with my kids and husband after the loooong visit with my MIL, so those made up for it.

@Miss Ariel: yeah, actually reading this thread had made me super grateful for my DH. He let me sleep in both Saturday and Sunday--but that's just because he's awesome, not necessarily for Mother's Day. And he made the girls' breakfast on those days. I really do super appreciate him 98% of the time, haha.

@Anagram: For me, it is a combination of social media and family history. I will admit, the posts that bring out my green eyed monster are jewelry posts. I used to be so anti jewelry. But recently I've been trying to cut back on stuff and jewelry is so compact and pretty...it is one thing I don't feel bad about piling up around the house. Both my mother and my grandmother have a nice collection of jewelry. I used to idolize my grandfather and when he died I remember my grandmother wearing her wedding ring (usual) and on top his Mason's ring and something about that changed my mind on jewelry. So for a while jewelry posts would make me jealous. Then later I learned some shitty stuff about my grandfather that changed my perspective on him. And looking back my mother always complained about the jewelry, even the diamonds because they weren't just "right.". I sort of realized that jewelry was just another thing and, taken as a whole I'd much rather have my non-jewelry buying sweet hubby than the marriages the other women in my family have. Nowadays I buy myself jewelry when I get a gift card or something. And I always like it!

@Anagram: so, I've talked about it before. I grew up in a immigrant family. There was no such things as celebrating birthday, Christmas, mothers/Father's Day etc. sure my husband appreciates me the other 364 days of the year. But it's nice to have a designated day where hey let's celebrate mom or dad!

There were no gifts from DH or cards. Last year he made me a card with DD which was super sweet. This year he didn't. I wasn't disappointed because gifts aren't his love language. Actions are. He asked a lot about what I wanted to do and he delivered.

I'll admit I was guilty of posting things on FB. Not to gloat or anything. But because HE deserved recognition for being so awesome!

I do a lot for him for Fathers Day too because he's a freaking amazing dad and deserve to be recognized! But he wants to place more emphasis on his dad. So he gets to spend Father's Day how he likes which is celebrating his dad. And I do the job of celebrating him as a dad.

I had a good day but I also am at a point in my relationship where I'd rather just tell him exactly what I want. I said "I'm going to a spa with my mom for mothers day and I'm going to spend a lot of money so you don't have to buy me anything. But we're not doing it ON mother's day so you still have to be really nice to me and make some sort of plan for something for us to do." He made plans with some friends of ours to take our kids to a play area together then go to brunch. Done and done.

@Mrs. Sunshine: Punch him in the throat?

No, I kid. I kid.

38 weeks 1 day pregnant, I's a grouch.

@Mrs. Sketchbook: I think this is a wonderfully specific plan but still leaves enough leeway to feel like you're not doing the whole thing yourself!