My Mom sent this to me and I thought it was really great. Thoughts?
http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/5106929?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000037
My Mom sent this to me and I thought it was really great. Thoughts?
http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/5106929?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000037
grapefruit / 4455 posts
I learned something like this in my ECE classes and try to keep some things out but it's so hard for me! Especially because my daughter can just cover our living room! Good reminder. I liked the section about all the things negotiating clean up teaches kids. I didn't think about the whole control thing before.. I'm type a and guessing my dd is too. So that's a good lesson for both of us!
papaya / 10570 posts
Okay so right now I'm RAGING about this article. Never mind breastfeeding, co-sleeping, screen time - this is the article that has pushed my buttons! I want to scream no no no no no. I'm supposed to leave her toys everywhere now?? What about the most important lesson she will ever learn, which is to tidy the hell up before I have a full mental breakdown, so help me god I will!!
To conclude -here is a picture of E's important work:
persimmon / 1328 posts
@Cherrybee: your reply made me lol!
Yeah I'm not sure. If my son is in the middle of building something with his duplo or completing a puzzle I will absolutely leave it out for him. But toys just strewn around the floor... not so much.
papaya / 10570 posts
And another thing...... (I'm still seething!)..... It was that Montessori madwoman who told me to put all her toys on low shelves where she could reach them and trash the place at will in the first place.
grapefruit / 4418 posts
@Cherrybee: lol our entire first floor is dd's "canvas". It doesn't get cleaned up often but not for the reasons stated in the article lol.
I'm dying at "Montessori madwoman". I have removed all DDs toys with small annoying parts that end up everywhere and she only gets them when she asks for them or I need to pull out a "new" toy to entertain her. It's so much better for the mess factor!
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
She's throwing the Montessori philosophy around, but this isn't Montessori. Montessori teaches kids to keep neat work spaces and to clean up before moving onto their next work. Cleaning up is a practical life skill that the philosophy teaches.
grapefruit / 4455 posts
@Cherrybee: lol, well I try to do it by how long it's been since she has touched a particular toy, if that helps. If she has clearly moved on, I ask her to clean up periodically or at the end. My daughter will say if something is important or she wants it to stay out too. She has a train table and luckily most of her scenes end up on there, or like the article says I move them there, so they are out of the way but still not totally taken down. And I have a shelf of toys that I put toys that are annoying me on up in our loft area. It takes the edge off for me.
hostess / papaya / 10219 posts
It doesn't sound like it's saying don't have them clean up. It sounds like she is saying to listen to your kid and if they are feeling attached to their work, let them "bend the rules" and leave it out to work on later. We have to do this with blocks because he freaks out about his creation being destroyed. Eventually he is ok with the demolition but often we let him leave it up for a day or so as he wants to come back to it and play more.
nectarine / 2667 posts
@travellingbee: I interpreted it the same way as you. From her suggested phrasing, I got the impression that she means if a kid is really invested in what they've been playing with and its time to move on, it's more respectful to find a way to preserve their work.
@Andrea: Montessori does teach to keep things tidy & clean up before moving on, but the way I read the article it sounds like the author is making suggestions for dealing with the adult's imposed timeline of moving on from toys & not the child's decision to move on. In my montessori room, I don't allow a child to have 2+ simultaneous works, but if they need to stop to use the bathroom, eat a snack, go outside, etc they don't have to tidy up & can use a name tag to save their work.
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
@JoyfulKiwi: I definitely agree with what you're doing in your classroom and my kids have been at a Montessori school for the past 3 years and they are the same way, but the author wrote this "an already overflowing playroom, it may literally and figuratively add to our feelings of drowning in toys and clutter" - and to let that go so that's not the same thing to me. However, without nitpicking on her wording, I do agree that we don't need to be helicopter parents and educators.
grapefruit / 4817 posts
I think there's a fine line between respecting their "work" and just letting them run the house. I think cleaning up when you're done is an important skill to learn and I won't feel bad about making my kid clean his stuff up if he's moved into something else. My MIL did this and has said she regretted it because her kids are literally the messiest adults ever. My husband straight up has no idea that living in squalor isn't appropriate, and she attributes that to her letting them "just be children." She was an elementary art teacher, so I think she just thought she was letting them be creative.
honeydew / 7622 posts
@travellingbee: This is how I read it too. @Cherrybee: Ha, I totally get what you are saying. @BananaPancakes: Totally. I read this more as if they have one project they are continuing to work on to let it be even if it is in in an inconvenient place.
I don't want my house to be one big messy shrine to my child's work, it just makes me think of what she is doing a little differently. I see how intently she works on mastering new skills.
pomegranate / 3375 posts
I love this article. Part of my "compass" of parenting is remember that each day belongs to LO too. This article is a reminder that our home is for our family, no just for DH and I.
I liked this: "That said, playtime does eventually always have to come to an end -- that is inevitable, but it's also inevitable that our children may not always have to clean up. Sometimes, we can actually let him leave his toys and creations out. Sure, it may contribute to an already overflowing playroom, it may literally and figuratively add to our feelings of drowning in toys and clutter and it may require that we have to go out of our way to walk around or over something treasured in our path, but when we do this, when we allow our child to preserve his "work," we are sending a strong message of respect and appreciation for the time and effort he put into his project."
It might help that we have mostly open-ended toys that we rotate though, and a friend who is experienced in Montessori type learning helped me setup a "yes space" for LO, where she can play with toys, do crafts, and make messes. It's connected to our main living space (no door), but the mess doesn't bother me. I just clean it up after she's gone to bed.
grapefruit / 4455 posts
@littlejoy: we have a yes space too. Your response really resonated with me. Sometimes when I get annoyed with the messes dh reminds me she's a kid and it's her place too, and if I keep nitpicking (I can be pretty picky) then where is she supposed to go to be three? It's definitely tough to also teach the skill of cleaning up things she is done with but hopefully it'll pay off.
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
I have long since given up "cleaning up" after my son. It helps that we have a dedicated playroom, but his creations tend to migrate to other parts of the house, which I have come to terms with.
What I don't allow, though, is just dumping bins of things all over the floor and then letting that remain as-is. If it's a legitimate project, then I am fine to leave it out.
grapefruit / 4671 posts
@BananaPancakes: I hate to put a pin in your MILs theory but my DH is also the messiest person I have ever met and his mother considers cleaning and tidying up to be THE most important life skill. They were taught the importance of clean up from day 1. All he did was toss it all out if the window as soon as he got to college.
grapefruit / 4817 posts
@plantains: Ha ha. I think there's also a fine line between "teaching a kid to tidy up" and "making them loathe cleaning because their mother is a neat freak." There's always a balance to be found I suppose.
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