Hellobee Boards

We read the book that comes with the elf every year but other than that I don’t put too much focus on the surveillance aspect. I never make those kind of statements while he’s here and so far it doesn’t seem like DS sees him that way. He never mentions anything with regards to being good for the elf. Our elf just moves around the house and occasionally wears silly costumes, but no elaborate tricks. I think he can totally just be a fun tradition without all the baggage.

My daughter is 18 months so we don't have an elf now though we also do not like the idea that the elf is there to watch you and report back to Santa. We don't plan to teach our daughter that an old man is watching her to see if she behaves, eek just seems creepy.

If we do decide to buy an elf in the coming years I plan to come up with a different story. Something like, the elf worked hard all year getting ready for Christmas and gets to go on vacation every December to spend the holidays with a family, so we will treat him/her as our holiday guest for the month of December.

I don't mention it to my kids.... but if they did come back about it, I would say we are not celebrating the elves but we can make elves cookies ( I like to bake cookies with them)

I like that my 2nd grade teacher wrote us this email:

Elf on the Shelf - I know each family celebrates this tradition differently, some not at all. Each year after Thanksgiving, the elf shows up and the students are very excited to share stories with their friends. This year is different. Some families have opted out of having an elf. Please be mindful of this when your child comes to school. I am asking that you discuss with your child your tradition and how you are celebrating or not celebrating and ask you child to be mindful of others feelings. Thank you!

I think it's fair and make sense.

My DS is 5 and I am waiting for him to come home and say something about the elf. I really don't want to introduce it as we have enough holiday traditions as it is and I would rather focus on those.

This is our first year to have one. Like others, we read the story, and I tend to just focus more on the kindness piece. Like I make a big deal, and I sometimes mention the elf noticing DS’s (4) good behavior and kindness to others.

The elf has created some extra fun and excitement, and I’m enjoying moving him around at night!

My daughter and I walked past a Nativity scene on our walk yesterday and she asked me about it so I told her the story and added my usual statement that I give with anything religious - "people who believe in X believe that" (followed by story) and holiday celebrations look different for everyone. The elf hasn't come up here or in the past, but if it does, my plan will be the same - to tell her that Santa visits everyone in different ways. For a few years now, I've been pulling apart the LEGO advent calendar and leaving a daily red gift bag for my daughter in different places around the house with that day's LEGO. I would tell her that the elf doesn't visit us but we get the LEGOs, which others may not. I find the whole elf thing creepy and don't want to mess with it.

@Mrs. Carrot: we have also talked about how everyone celebrates different holidays, not everyone does Christmas, etc. and both of my girls have Jewish BFFs, so I guess I thought they’d be a little more elevated than “my mom thinks the elves are creepy and we’re good, so we don’t need them”, so clearly, I was wrong!

@Anagram: oh my gosh, I didn't know your husband was Hindu, mine is too (Jain, more specifically, but not very observant). And I'm half Jewish, though on the wrong side (dad) so it technically doesn't count LOL We've always told our daughter that we can take whatever parts of holidays that come from her various cultures (so we do a little Diwali, a little Hannukah, a little Christmas) and learn about others (her kindergarten class was heavily Muslim so she learned all about Ramadan and Eid and we've read about Kwanzaa and others).

@erinbaderin: FWIW, while my kids are younger and I don't think have heard of the elf (yet?), I would do the same thing as you. I see why the "surveillance" part is creepy, but seems easy enough to leave that out, and otherwise, I have nothing against the little guy haha. I'm mostly just lazy and not wanting to think of a ton of ideas. But I bet there are plenty on Pinterest to help, and the candy cane toboggan sounds fun. My son would honestly love it! So I don't blame you for going for it

We’ve had ours for a few years, and we really like it! Our kids remember the silly places they found her and talk about her throughout the year. We don’t do many elaborate set ups, but the kids still think it’s great to look for her each morning.

@erinbaderin: just here to commiserate- we are really hoping to avoid the elf too although the creative set ups are so cute. But DD1 (3 yo) told me earlier this year that Santa doesn't bring presents to bad kids and I immediately told her that no, Santa brings a present for you no matter what and we need to be good for the sake of being good. I was shocked that the good/bad Santa bit was already in her psyche!