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LO2 is due two months before LO1's 4th bday. So not experience yet but I will say she is so excited about baby sister coming. I think that it will be an adjustment for her but she will also be old enough to help, get a diaper, etc.

I am 37 and we got pregnant on the first try. It took 3 months at 33.

We will have a 3.25 year gap between DD and lo#2. I always wanted a 2 year gap bc that's what my brother and I had. However, I have to admit that I am happy we got longer with just DD. I feel like this young stage is so fun and important that I am happy to be able to just focus on DD a bit longer than we would have been able to if there was only a 2 year gap.

I did have secondary infertility however... it's a very odd story. We worked with a fertility dr for 6 months and then decided to stop treatment (all bfn's obviously) but the month after we stopped treatment I got KU'd naturally! It took us 14 months for this lo#2 where as it took one month with DD.

My sister and I are 6y apart. I think my parents did it for financial reasons (I was in 1st grade when she was born, so they only ever had one in daycare/babysitter), but it worked out well for us: minimal fighting growing up since we were always in pretty different stages of life, I acted as a "mothers helper" at a young age and then babysat for her as I got older, we never really had to share the bathroom bc I was off to college by the time she was hitting those tween/teen years.

I think you have a better chance of siblings being really close (relationship-wise) if they are closer in age since they are more likely to be going through the same types of things at a similar time, but I do think a lot of that is personality-driven...and you also run the risk of them butting heads and not getting along well too.

I think it's important to take into your personalities and what is best for your family, not just what may or may not happen with a yet-to-be-determined sibling relationship!

We are only 3 months into it, but our LOs are 3y9m apart. I really like how independent DD is and she was able to be excited and really understand what was happening with her baby brother arriving. I do wonder if they will really play well together due to the difference but I guess we'll see, and I also am not looking forward to so many years of having them in different daycares/schools, but we'll see how that happens moving forward I guess.

My brother and I are 4.5 years apart (I am older). My parents actually really liked the age gap. I was very independent by the time my baby brother arrived). When we were older, I was a built-in babysitter for the family. My brother and I did fight sometimes growing up and I can't say we are super close now, but we have a good relationship. We didn't have sibling rivalry really because we mostly were in different stages of life. We were only in the same school for a single year.

As for TTC past 35, I had LO at 32 and started TTC #2 at 34 (and into 35). I had one loss before LO so it took a total of 5 months to conceive her. I've had two losses while TTC #2 and got pregnant a third time after 8 months of trying. I am now 18 weeks along, so hopefully this one will work out. So I'd say the second one has felt more difficult but realistically, it hadn't actually been that different from the first time. The hardest part was probably going through TTC and losses while dealing with a toddler.

@Smurfette: Twinsies! I also had LO1 when I was 33 and conceived LO2 at 37 - I think we are due within a few days of one another too!

@youboots: Honestly, imo, people make too big of a deal about age gap. Relationships are for the most part personality driven. My sister is 12 years older than me and she is my best friend and I know lots of siblings close in age who barely speak to one another - overall family dynamics are more important I think.

I know that for me - 2 under 2 or 2 even 3 would have stressed me out and I wouldn't have enjoyed the time and I think it wouldn't have been a good thing for our family.
I know that there is an argument that when kids are close in age, they are into the same things etc. but childhood is a short phase of life, I want my kids to be friends as adults rather than as kids - to me that is more important so we went for LO2 when we were ready as opposed to some imaginary deadline because it's the'done thing'.

Also, there are real benefits to a larger age gap. We have gotten to really spend time with LO1, travel and do some cool stuff that we wouldn't be able to have done otherwise and I feel like it has built a good foundation and now he is more independent.

I really stressed when I wasn't ready to have LO2 when everyone with a kid the same age as mine was getting pregnant etc. But I realized that just because it works for other families doesn't mean it would work for me or mine for many reasons. So we waited until it felt right and I'm glad we did.

Re: Infertility - I too worried about this but got pregnant first try but had an early loss, waited a month and got pregnant on the next try. There's no way of knowing of course, but I wouldn't let it worry you too much, just do what feels right to you!

Wow - I really went on there!

I can see the argument for both types of gaps. I am only 2 years younger than my older sister and we were/are very close. However, I am 5 years older than my little sister and we are even closer. I think it really just depends on personality and how you raise your kids in relation to each other and the age gap doesn't completely define what the relationship will be like.

We will be TTCing in the next 3-6 months (I'm 38). Our LO is 4. If everything goes well there will be a 5 year age difference. There's an 8 year age difference between me and my brothers. We still had a lot of fun growing up and fun now at family get togethers.

I don't think age difference matters in the long run in terms of sibling relationships.

I had my first at 32 and actually got pregnant the first cycle of TTC. We decided we were ready to try again when DS was 2.5 exactly (when I had just turned 35) and assumed it would happen easily and we would have slightly over a 3 year age gap (which was my ideal). I did experience secondary infertility and found that I now had a diminished ovarian reserve, which for me resulted in 2 first trimester miscarriages. I did get pregnant 14 months after we started trying (the month before we were to start fertility treatment) and am now 22 weeks . When this baby arrives (god willing), my children will be about 4 years and 4 months apart and I'm actually mourning that a bit. I'm worried that they won't be close because of the age gap and I'm also bummed to be starting the newborn stage just as life has started to get a little easier and less restrictive. I had also planned on having 3 children and now my unexpected bout with secondary infertility may force me to change plans. With that said, I'm one of 4 sisters and my youngest is almost 5 years younger than me and we are very close so I need to keep reminding myself of that.

This is on my mind a lot as we are TTC #2 and if we get pregnant this month it will be a 3.5 year age gap, but there's no way of knowing how long it will take so I am trying to wrap my head around a larger gap. Age is not a factor since I'm 28 but who knows what will happen.

I comfort myself knowing that my two brothers are BFFs and 6 years apart, and one of my best friends is close with her sister and they are 4 years apart. I do think same sex siblings are typically closer but as others have said there are so many variables. I do mourn a little bit the idea of two siblings close in age who can play together like playmates. On the flip side, I know LO will love being a big sister since she will be able to understand it better.

Honestly I feel very grateful just to be a mom. This TTC process has made me really appreciate that it "just happened" for us last time and that we didn't have to wait and wish for a baby like so many do. So I am trying to enjoy that I have my girl and I can focus on her and not divide my attention right now. (Not saying at all this is how others should feel! This is just my mindset right now and it keeps me from going crazy wondering when we will give LO a sibling.)

My parents had four children over 12 years and I wasn't close to my sisters as a kid, but we are all very close now and I love it. They had kids young and I had mine older, so we are all in the same stage of life now.

I had my first at 32 and my second at 35. We will TTC again as soon as we are able. What I love about the spacing we have (2.5 years) is that they love to play together, and I'm not sure they would with a larger age gap. They have so, so much love for each other. The downside is I am always knackered and I have tough pregnancies with awful morning sickness. Although I have thin type PCOS I got pregnant easily, although I had a miscarriage, which threw off our preferred age gap between #1 and #2). I am keen to get the baby making stage of my life over with and for primarily that reason, we will try for shorter spacing this time.

If we choose to have a second I hope that they will become close but I don't think any age gap can guarantee that. So we have decided that a four year gap is what makes sense for us as the parents. DH works long hours and I do bedtime alone - I personally couldn't imagine doing that with a smaller gap.

My sister and I are almost 4 years apart, and my children will be at least 4 years apart, probably closer to 4.5 depending on how TTC goes. I know that i couldn't have handled two under two or even two under three. I'm super happy and comfortable with our decision and quite comfortable if we don't end up having a second. My sister and I were close from about the time I was 12 and she was 16. Before that we were like cats and dogs, but as far as I can tell most sisters are as kids regardless of age difference!

DH and his sister have a 5 year age difference, and they were never close growing up. They fought often and didn't become closer until they were adults (25/30). Their cousins are all 2-3 years apart and have such a special bond that even makes me jealous! My siblings are all 9+ years older and younger than I am... needless to say, it wasn't ideal.

While I don't have experience getting pregnant in my mid to late 30's, my mom had me at 37 and my sister at 46. She did have a miscarriage prior to having me. Otherwise, she didn't have any problems conceiving.