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I try to be nice but firm. I also try to be apologetic, and brush it off that way. For example, my 4 month old will start to melt down when family is holding her. I'll jump right in and say "Oh, here, let me take her. She still needs mama to calm down." Or if she needs some space, I'll say "I'm going to go find a quiet spot to feed her and see if I can get her to sleep."

My mil did that at times. I just would say "you don't have the functioning parts" and take him away to nurse.

I suspect they're trying to be helpful and give you a break, and also that it's a bit of a pride thing - they want to be able to say they were able to calm her down. I think you need to have a reason why rather than just that you've got it. Something like LindsayLou said, "she just needs a minute with her mama".

I don't know. Maybe you should at least give her a chance and see what techniques she suggests.

When DD was little, my mom showed me a bouncing/rocking method that did wonders to soothe her when she was upset. It was way better than anything I had figured out on my own. But it was something that my mom knew from experience of raising her 3 kids that she'd had success with. You might be surprised what help your MIL could provide!

My family is worse than my ILs. It's like they completely forgot how sensitive babies are and think I'm just overreacting when I say my 7 week old is crying because she is overstimulated or overtired. I know that I react quickly to my daughter's cries, but I've learned how to distinguish her cries and know what she needs and they give me a hard time and say things like, "she's fine, babies cry." I know babies cry, but I'd like to help her when I can! Sorry, I don't have advice...I'm still working on figuring out what to say without then treating me like I'm overreacting.

The way you described your MIL is mine to a T. Id literally be running away from her and she'd be running behind me - sometimes waving a toy in his face. Which obviously didn't help! Agree with @ElbieKay: When someone would mention me "needing a break" I'd say "I don't need a break, I'm good, thanks" and they usually got it.
As for the chasing MIL - I finally just turned to her once and said "when he's crying like this it's best for me to be alone with him. It is stressful and I prefer to handle it by myself". Of course she didn't like it, but she eventually stopped.

The new thing she does that drives me bonkers - when she visits (weekly) she gets butthurt if my 16 month old wants to see me. So I'll be in the kitchen making dinner and he'll wander in sweet as can be just wanting to check in or hug my legs. And she'll run in after him and say "mommy's busy" and pick him up and take him out. Which usually results in him crying because she does it so abruptly, like he's doing something dangerous or wrong. I've decided that next time I'm going to explain to her that it is normal for his age to want to "check in" with mommy. He just wants to make sure I'm there and maybe get a couple hugs. It's just reassurance for him and I don't want to make him feel like he can't have that. I can't imagine shed argue that. (Though I'm certain she won't like it. She gets offended if he walks away from her and has cried when he wanted me to hold him instead of her).

I want to add though that part of the reason dh has to say it is because a) MIL doesn't care if I say it but will sometimes listen to dh, and b) she sometimes needs it to be said very bluntly or else she plays clueless or she really is clueless and thinks things like barging into our bedroom are ok.

@2littlepumpkins: In this situation I would just lock the bedroom door.