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Oh that is the most frustrating email! Tell her to read some proper literature on the flu shot and to stop getting info from the Internet.

29 is cheap.

Don't feel bad about this. At all! Your babe is your priority.

@PrincessBaby: Blame it on your doctor. That's what mine said when I had a little backlash on people getting flu shot/dtap before the baby arrives (and blamed money issues also, which is SO annoying because the shots are not expensive). He told me point blank that people coming around the baby either needed to have the shot, or needed to not come around the baby at all whatsoever. If people had a problem with that, they could call him to discuss.

Ugh that is a really snotty email (from her) in my opinion! I don't think that request is unreasonable at all, and we asked all our family to get the pertussis shot once I was in my 2nd tri. I'm pretty sure they all have the flu shot already. The shots are dirt cheap at CVS, etc. like you said so there's no reason for her to "risk her life" by sitting in a dr.'s office (eye roll!)

I would push for pertussis over flu; that was my personal priority, but I don't know how else to advise you! It sounds like she thinks she's already doing you a favor by visiting, so many it would be more fun if she visited later once she's cooled off anyways??

Sorry you're dealing with drama!!

I'd be worried since she mentioned seizure medication and a possible issue with that. I'd push Tdap, but maybe avoid the flu one? If you have the flu, you would generally know it and not come around the baby... is that correct? Or could it be dormant for a while before you know you have it?

What did your doctor recommend?

(FYI: my point of view is that I do not have kids yet, BUT I plan to make any over night guests get the tdap vaccine, and stay away if they are sick, no exceptions)

ETA: just reading everyone else comments.. I agree.. tell her to come later. That way she won't have to get it, and you won't have to worry. Win, Win!

It's tough because she is well within her right to not want to get the flu shot. Obviously I don't think your request is ridiculous since I asked the same of my family. But we were well prepared to say to people that if they didn't want to get the shots that was perfectly fine and they could wait to visit until the baby was 8 weeks and got it's own shots. We weren't dependent on them to come and help us.

Also, as far as her asking her friends. They may have been talking about people who just visited the baby for a few hours. We are only requiring guests who stay in our home to get the shots. If a friend wants to come over for an hour to meet the baby we won't require that they have TDaP and Flu shots.

@highwire: That's what I was wondering.. in that case.. no way! Why wouldn't she want to get it? Imagine how bad she would feel if she gave H the flu?! I can't imagine not getting vaccined if someone asked me to. If i felt that strongly about it, I just wouldn't visit! Given your sisters circumstances with seizures, she should just wait to come visit!

Also agree with @Mrs. Jacks: shouldn't they want to get vaccinated to protect H?

How did the rest of your family respond?

I agree, you should blame your Dr for the reason you asked her to do it for starters to ease some tension. I would offer to pay for her vaccines if money is an issue as well.

@adnama: Ugh that's what I don't understand. If someone in my close family was having a baby and this whopping cough crap was going on, and I was the one coming to visit, I would be getting that shot so fast! I would NEVER give a new parent a hard time about a request like this. Never, ever. What if I got a newborn baby sick just because I was being stubborn/cheap (although I have no other medical issues like the seizure thing, but still)? I'd never forgive myself.

@Pumpkinspice: The reason this has become more important recently is because of recent outbreaks of whopping cough and the fact that it can be fatal to infants.

@PrincessBaby: Will she get it if you pay for it and set it up so she can do it somewhere besides her germ-infested doctor's office?

@Pumpkinspice: Fair enough. Like some PPs, we're just asking that close family who intend on staying at our house for extended periods of time get the shot. Random friends/extended family we have not asked to.

@Pumpkinspice: I would agree with you if you were insisting that the person come see you. But I think if you are giving the option to the person to either get the shots, or delay the visit that's a perfectly reasonable expectation as a parent to a newborn.

I think the flu shot thing can be dropped, but the whooping cough shot was non negotiable for me. Although, my father was too immunocompromised to get it, so I didn't stress about that. I knew that if he had it, I'd know. But a healthy person can carry it and give it to a baby.

It really stinks that she is giving you such a hard time especially considering her main reasoning is that she doesn't want to get sick from the shot which is totally untrue. I hate when people get angry about something that they don't have the facts to back up. Why would you want to put an Infant at risk? I know around me you can get both shots at CVS and believe they are both around $30. I dont think that's a lot to ask since she will be staying with you.

This topic also came up with my mother in law and she too had a bad reaction about the Pertussis vaccine. Which kind of shocked me considering she is in the health field. My parents were all about getting both shots. I'm going to bring it up again at some point bc we have had a lot of recent Whooping cough outbreaks in our area but I just don't get the negativity towards it when it's to protect your baby. Hopefully it goes better with ur parents and I would be tempted to switch your sisters visit till the baby gets her shots. I would offer to pay for them if she will go to CVS even though it's not alot of money to ask her to spend.

@PrincessBaby: You should really get the Tdap vaccine at least 2 weeks before baby comes (DTap is for kids). It takes about that long for it to be effective.

I don't think it's too much to ask her to get a flu shot. If you asked her to get a bunch of shots, that's different (my flu shot was $15 at a minute clinic, btw--she might be able to find one cheaper than $29).

She definitely should read accurate info on flu shots! If they were dangerous, I don't think the most at risk people would be advised to get them (i.e. elderly, pregnant, immune compromised, etc.).

Does her doctor say it will interact with seizure meds or is she just being paranoid? It's definitely worth a phone call if she hasn't checked yet (don't know why that would require an office visit). My husband heard that it causes Alzheimer's and avoided them until I insisted. Seems like the flu shot is villified sometimes for no real reason.

omg seriously. the flu shot does not make you sick. It's coincidental if you get sick after the shot because you were already exposed to it and just happened to get the shot in that window. Grrrrr.

We're having the vaccination talk in our household, too.