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By 6-7wks I was ready to jump out the window. Not bc of PPD, bc I had a colicky baby and no family near by to help. You are doing great.

I tried to get DD on a schedule, but she really wasn't on one until more like 6mo. They are growing so much at this age that by the time you think you have it down, it all changes again. So I wouldn't worry about the schedule. I would try to get her used to the order of things, I think the ideal one is eat, play, sleep so she doesn't get used to nursing to sleep.

If she doesn't like taking the bottle, don't give it to her when she's starving. Try ~1.5hr after her last feeding. I wouldn't take away the boob in the middle of a nursing session to give her a bottle, that could make her mad.

Keep us posted, you're doing fine! This period just is what it is.

I'm so sorry you are struggling and things are hard right now, but you are in no way a failure!! You are giving your daughter everything she needs right now and that is love, food, and comfort. I've mentioned to you before that my baby was very high maintenance until 10/12 weeks and then I swear a light switch went off. Some newborns just require more care, comfort, and are more delicate than others. The one thing that helped me was to just surrender to it and let my baby guide me. Don't fight to put her on a schedule so young, things will fall into place around 3 months and you will see a pattern forming. I wouldn't even worry about trying to put her down awake yet, do whatever you need to to get her to sleep. The thing that helped me the most was just saying to myself, ok so I have a fussy fussy high maintenance baby, butthere's nothing I can really do about it and I just need to make her as calm and happy as possible. I swear things will get easier around the 3 month mark. You are not doing anything wrong!! I know it is hard and frustrating, but you are doing everything you can for her and little by little things will get better. Hang in there mama!!!

Oh my goodness. PLEASE don't make yourself feel bad over what the books say you're "supposed" to be doing! Every single baby is different, you are doing a great job and the best thing you can do is do what works best for your family. She's 7 weeks old? If I remember correctly, those were some of the absolute WORST weeks for us (6-8). I think sleep deprivation starts catching up, people start asking if she's sttn yet (HA HA HA) and you're stressing over feeding/sleeping/napping/everything.

If it helps, I still feed my baby (10.5 mo) on demand. If she was hungry after 1.5 hours, I fed her. If she was hungry after 3 hours, I fed her. I kind of just went with my instinct and tried to use the books as help but not the rule.

We're all here for you and supporting you!!!

I think the only thing you're doing wrong is listening to that book! I hated that book. It makes you think that it's all so easy, but its just not realistic.

I think you have to do whatever works for you and your lo. My lo was always a good night sleeper but she was an awful napper. My theory was just do anything to get lo to nap. If that means rock her, keep her in ky arms, drive around, take a stroller walk, etc I didn't care. I was too tired to care! Then one day when lo was 8 months dh put her in her crib and she napped. And she's napped in her crib ever since with no complaints.

Oh honey. I promise it will get easier. E was IMPOSSIBLE to put on a schedule until that point, especially one of our choosing. It also took at least 2 full months before I was able to even start differentiating his cries. You'll get there!

No baby is "by the book"...every baby is different and needs different things. E still wakes up 1-2 times a night, and at least one of those times is just wanting Mama. It's okay!

You're a great mom! Just do whatever you need to do to get by, even if it's not "by the book"!

I agree with Artbee! I think that book needs to be trashed & you need to know that you're an AWESOME mom & you have to do what you feel your lo needs, regardless what some book says!

I was all about schedules with G, which killed my supply & was the beginning of the end of breastfeeding. Yea he did take to it pretty well but thinking back now I think of all the cuddles I missed b/c I was so focused on this other stuff. For P I've let her guide me & that alone lifted SO much stress b/c then I wasn't "failing" at any said plan or book I was SUCCEEDING at giving my baby what she was telling me she needed!

You also need to remind yourself that poor sleep can get the best of any of us & in that it's A-OKAY to cry with your baby b/c you feel stressed! Do what you can to get the rest you need & don't worry if that means "breaking the rules" of what the books say! You gotta do what you gotta do & ultimately you all will benefit from that! You're doing a fantastic job, I'm sure of it b/c moms that suck don't think they're failures. That alone says you're NOT a failure.

Big HUGS to you!

Hugs honey ! I think we have all felt this way many times. Being a mom is the hardest thing I've ever done ! You are a wonderful mama - this is going to get better. I promise !

Oh - and re: schedules ... J put himself on one around 2 months or so. Don't stress over that - just follow her cues !

Hang in there!!! I will just echo everyone else and say forget about a schedule for now. I know it's SO HARD when every day just feels like chaos and you have no sense of how your day will go...the only sort of routine that was helpful at that age was EASY (eat, awake time, sleep). Other than that, I would honestly just try to go with the flow as much as you can--easier said than done, I know. Things WILL get better, and you will look back on this time and think, " Oh I remember those fun newborn days!" Seems impossible, but it's true Just do what works--if that means nursing to sleep, co-sleeping, having her sleep in a rock n'play or bouncy chair, having her nurse every hour...whatever you need to do to get her through the day, just go with it. I know you're having a tough time with breastfeeding, but honestly, to intro bottles and have to worry about pumping sounds like a whole other sort of headache. I would try to stick it out another 2 weeks--by 8 wks, things will almost definitely feel totally different and much easier!

{hugs}. I know how hard you've been struggling. Honestly you are being an amazing mom! I wouldn't even think of a schedule at this age! Feeding is always so erratic as is sleep. Seriously WHY DO people ask if they're STTN yet? I started getting that question at barely 3 weeks! People just don't remember all the specifics I think most people forget the first month or two of having a baby!

I wouldn't read anymore books, especially about scheduling and what they should be doing. Every baby is different and I believe in the 4th trimester thing. They really are just learning how to be on the outside. Hope you feel a little better tonight. And if you like company in misery, I'm so sleep deprived and DH is leaving for a concert!

@Smurfette: The whole point of a schedule is supposed to relieve stress and headache, but I find most of the moms who are stressed out & overwhelmed, are those who are trying so hard to stick their babies into some kind of a rigid schedule. For years on top of years mamas raised happy babies with no books, websites, blogs, or "experts." And still today many cultures & people rely on their instincts and baby's wants/needs instead of demanding their LO's be perfect or on some predetermined, expert-suggested schedule. Your baby is a little person with her own little preferences, feelings, need, and wants. Follow her lead. She'll let you know when she's hungry, tired, happy, and sad. It's so much easier to say than do, but relax! When you relax and begin to follow your baby's lead, it's so much easier to learn and follow her signals. I feed Sadie on demand (her demeanor will change from happy to cranky), I put her down when she's sleepy (she'll begin rubbing her eyes & yawning), and I burp her when she's gassy (she'll cry high-pitched & won't eat). By letting her lead the way, I've learned her behaviors & signals. She's fallen into a routine that works for her, and we've gone along for the ride... she's 10 weeks now, and healthy, incredibly happy, and STTN. I let it happen naturally, and we're so much happier for it! So, if she likes to sleep in your arms - let her, if she wants to eat every two hours - let her... she won't always (though in the moment it feels like it might!).

I know this is a freakin' novel of a reply, but I just wanted to emphasize the importance of the unimportance of "scheduling." Release the pressures, comparisons, and your guilt. Parenting is hard! You are doing an AWESOME job, mama! Keep up the great work! LOVE & HUGS!

HUGS!!! Hang in there! You are doing great!

HUGS HUGS HUGS!!!

You're not a failure. You are doing great. You're nursing. You're being there for your LO. Your baby is doing what normal, healthy newborns do.

And I tried like hell but I don't think my LO's cries started to really sound different til a couple months had passed!!!

Forget the books, forget the schedules, that's what I had to do. In fact, from about 6 weeks until 4 months I didn't read unless I had a specific question and I was in a calm state of mind. Mostly I kept myself out of books period. I even took an HB break.

6 weeks is the peak of fussy and it's just HARD! That does not make you a failure. I had to get help because combined with formula problems and ppd I lost it!! If I had just known that it WOULD get better and not read so many horror stories online I might not have needed help but I was so depressed, tired, and freaked out. I promise you it will get better and you are not alone in feeling this way. I went from wanting to escape motherhood every moment to loving it. There is hope. Don't pressure yourself thinking that you "should" be feeling any which way.

If you can get any help from family, even once a week to look forward to, that would be ideal.

I wish I could literally give you a hug! You are NOT a failure. You are the best mama that little girl will ever have!

The weeks you're in right now are rough. Sleep deprivation is no joke (I third and forth all the calls for people to stop asking if our babies are sleeping all night!!) I remember feeling exactly the same way about wanting to not make mistakes that will come back to bit us in the end. I was reading tons of sleep books and stressing myself out like crazy. Then my husband said "our son doesn't have a sleeping problem, so what are you trying to 'fix'?" He was right. Once I let go of focusing on what we were "suposed" to be doing and started following my son's lead we all got a lot happier. Even though it took a while to figure out his cues!

We held our son for all his naps until he went to daycare at 14 weeks. He'd sleep in a crib there, but not at home. He wasn't even close to any sort of regular schedule. We'd try to have him nap in his crib at home and he wasn't having it. Eventually, he's started to figure it out. I really think babies just need time to figure things out (I was all about the 4th trimester too).

Hang in there. Things will get easier with time. I also want to say that I think it's okay to have moments or full days where you're not enjoying the crap out of your baby. It's not the popular cultural narrative of "love every second!", but I think it's natural to not love it all (seriously, who loves 3 hour bedtimes?)

Big hugs to you!!! First of all, put the book away. Put all the books away. Has The Baby Whisperer met you it your baby? No. There is no way that her approach is going to be your golden ticket. You are going to have to figure out R over time. It is very okay that you don't have a clue what you're doing. I'm 11.5 months out and don't have a clue. I imagine I'll continue to feel this way for the rest of my parenting years. The newborn period is tough. It's totally okay to cry, and it's totally okay to not have a schedule. In fact, I would encourage you to not even think about a schedule for a good 6-8 more weeks. It's totally okay to not know cries. I didn't until my LO was like 7 months old! Hang in there. Things will get better. Parenting is a marathon, not a sprint

@Smurfette: you are NOT a failure!! you are an amazing mama - just look at all you're doing to give your daughter your very best!! J is now 8-weeks, and i just wrote in my recent monthly update about how hellish weeks 6-8 were. i thought i was losing my mind, and J isn't what i consider a difficult baby either.

my first was difficult and colicky, and i was at the end of my rope so i sleep trained her at 6-weeks. i read all those books too (baby whisperer, babywise, etc) and i was going crazy stressing myself out about making sure i wasn't creating "bad habits" etc. i wish i had cut myself (and her) some slack. i couldn't understand why she couldn't go 3 hours between feedings like she was "supposed to"... since she was nursing 1.5-2 hours at that age.

you're in the thick of it right now. like others have mentioned, weeks 6-8 are the peak of fussiness for newborns, and i know how much harder it is when you have a more "difficult" baby. you are amazing and doing such a great job.

one thing that really helped me (again, against standard advice) was letting her sleep on her tummy for naps. everyone has different risk thresholds, and that was a risk i was willing to take because naps are pretty short (1-2 hours). i felt comfortable enough with it to let her sleep that way for a few hours... and she slept so well that way. maybe that's something to consider? even if her night sleep isn't great right now, it might relieve some of the stress if you can at least get her out of your arms for naps so you get some YOU time back.

Oh sweet mama. That time is SOOOOO hard. I remember sobbing right along with J calling my MIL begging her to come give me a break because I couldn't do it anymore, I was so exhausted and frustrated. Take it one day at a time. We started with the Avent bottles, tried Dr Brown and finally landed a winner with Nuk.

At almost 11 months J still has no set schedule, he rocks his own beat and still wakes a time or two a night. After a while you learn to survive on fumes.

Anywhere baby will nap is where baby needs to nap. Your arms? Cool. Crib? Cool. Swing? Yep. Don't worry about 'spoiling' baby, it will go too fast much love and hugs from me! This WILL pass, even if it doesn't feel that way.

Aw... Hang in there. The first couple of months is the hardest for first time moms, especially when your LO isn't taking bottles. Try the schedule by feeding every three hours. Try different bottles as well. We went through a few brands until I found one that worked for us. Have your husband help change diapers before every feeding so it's one less thing for you to do. Hope at least one of these helps. Big hugs!

I can so relate to this! The first two months I felt like every day was the hardest day of my life. I thought we had made a huge mistake. I thought that i must be doing sonething (or everything) wrong to have a baby that cried so much. People kept asking "is she on a schedule?" I couldn't even imagine what that meant!

Now she is seven months old, smiles and giggles all the time (things I thought such a miserable baby would never do). And somehow, gradually, miraculously, we've found our groove and our schedule. If someone had told me at two months how happy we would be at seven months (or even four or five) I wouldn't have believed them. It will happen. One day you will look around and realize that you love your life again. I had to block out everyone telling me to "enjoy every moment". I felt guilty at the time but now I truly believe that they don't remember what the early weeks are like. I tried very hard to enjoy one moment every day. And one day I didn't have to try any more.

You can do it. You ARE doing it!

I think this is a pretty universal feeling, I wish I had specific helpful advice on regarding the sleeping/eating stuff but I can say that the only way you'd be considered a failure was if you didn't care about how your baby was doing. The fact that you're so upset and worried just proves what a good parent you are!